Deadbeats of the Lord
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No shirt, no shoes, no Christians, no service? No it hasn’t come to that yet, but I have a feeling there’s at least one waiter in Kansas whose mind the thought has crossed. A group of self professed “Christians” stiffed him on a tip the other day because, although they said his service was excellent, he seemed too gay for God.
God, as ever, was silent on the matter but then God really doesn’t need to say anything or do anything because he has religious people to do all his thinking, acting and of course smiting for him. In fact, these days it’s impossible to tell what things are God’s doing and what things are men’s. Perhaps it’s safer to assume the latter because any God who could create planet earth yet hasn’t been much better than Barney Fife without his bullet since the Iron age might as well be dead or never have existed. Sadly, in places like Overland Park, Kansas that leaves Christians to fill the power vacuum and punish selected sins with petty meanness and arrogant condescension. As they explained in a nasty note they left in lieu of money, they needed to protect the not-so-almighty from being offended so much he’d go sulk impotently in his room and forget to water the crops.
Oh sure, not all Christians are as bad as the Krazy Kristians of Kansas. Some are quite nice in fact — some of my best friends and all that, but a guy’s got to make a living and waiting tables is a hard job. Stiffing a hard working man isn’t funny. Can working people afford to serve the deadbeats of the Lord?
I’m sure that as KKK, these pious people know about who gets to throw stones; know about Jesus eating pizza with outcasts, but it sure as hell doesn’t say he tipped the waiter, now does it? I’m sure they shared my doubts and the doubts of many scholars about the authenticity of Paul with all that mushy stuff about the workman being worthy of his wages and again, even if Paul didn’t write it, it doesn’t say the gay waiter is worthy – I mean that’s too liberal for Kansas anyway and as Kansas goes, so goes God and there goes the tip. So it is written – or close enough for Godly work.
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There are states filled with ignorance, with Kansas and Texas topping the list, along with Oklahoma, and most southern states.
The worst kind of evil is the evil that thinks it’s good. Krazy Kansas Khristianity is too often a bucket of whitewash, an excuse to justify whatever your mean, bigoted, selfish and pretentious impulses may be.
Try bragging about stiffing a waiter because your personal savior doesn’t like black people, Catholics, protestants or women and you see this bigotry for what it is.
If I were a cynic, I might be tempted to say that the main function of piety is to justify the unjustifiable.
Kansas Kristians are the Kraziest of all. Good article man.
Well said Glenn, unfortunately the world is full of those KKK types and that makes me unhappy. We desperately need to keep religion in the churches, and never, ever set it free again.