Race You To The Car – A disabled lady parked her car in West London but, being uncertain whether her disabled badge was valid as it was issued by Camden in East London she went to find a Traffic Warden. The Warden informed her it was not valid and, as the disabled lady tottered back with her walking stick towards where she was parked, he sprinted past her to issue a parking ticket before she could move her car.
Don’t Inconvenience Your Bank By Dying – A bank issued its annual credit card service fee to a woman who had died earlier the same year. The balance on her card was £0.00 when she died but eventually reached £300 in unpaid fees by the time her mail was redirected to her nearest relative. The relative rang the bank and explained the lady was deceased and it had taken 10 months before her mail was redirected. The bank insisted that as the deceased had not closed their account before they died then the charges were correct and, if unpaid, would be passed to the fraud division. On finally being allowed to speak to a senior manager the relative was informed the bill must be paid as the banks computer was ‘not set up for death’.
Lost Cat – A family who put up posters asking neighbours to look out for their lost cat were issued with a £90 fine by their local council for ‘fly posting’. Despite protests from the family, whose 5 year old daughter was devastated by the loss, a council official insisted fining them was correct. At least the cat came back after being found locked in a garden shed.
No Tea At The Fete - A parent teacher association in Uxbridge, just down the road from my home, were warned that serving tea at the school’s summer fete was too dangerous. Council killjoys said “A risk assessment for running a school fete will be appropriate. It is not about creating huge amounts of paperwork, but rather about identifying sensible and proportionate measures to protect helpers and young children from risks that cause real harm” When asked whether the school could serve coffee instead, they refused to answer.
Give a small minded moron a uniform or the least inkling of power of any kind and you’ll get a ‘jobs worth’.
Politicians have created ‘political correctness’ and it’s completely and utterly out of control.
We’re living in a jobs worth’s paradise.
‘Health and Safety’ is the mantra of many ‘jobs worth’s’. Take an incident earlier on this year. A dog got into difficulties in a river. 3 fire engines and 4 police cars arrived after an emergency call was made by the elderly lady dog owner. Seems a bit excessive yes? It gets better – none of the police officers nor fire men attempted to rescue the struggling dog as they had not had any ‘Health and Safety’ training in water rescue.
Despite protestations from the police a young chap told them up which orifice to stick their helmets and waded in, successfully recovering the soggy doggy.
Both a police and fire service spokesperson defended their officers inability to paddle into four feet of river by stating “Our officers acted appropriately. Not having received water rescue training they were completely correct and behaved impeccably at all times”
A hospital radio station has banned the Boney M song ‘Brown Girl in The Ring’ as it may offend some ethnic groups.
A junior school has banned children from running in the playground in case they fall over and hurt themselves.
A church has banned it’s volunteer flower arranging ladies because they haven’t had a criminal records check and, I quote, “We have to ensure that children in our choir are protected from any possible abuse so the ladies have to be vetted but as they have declined we had no option but to stop them arranging the church flowers” – the youngest banned ‘flower arranging lady’ is a 78 years old grandmother of four.
A woman police officer recently sued her force after being assaulted by a shop lifter she was attempting to arrest. She claims her force failed to provide her with a ‘safe working environment’. – You couldn’t make it up could you? Police officer? Safe working environment? Apparently, the shop lifter pushed her away and ran off. She didn’t even fall over or receive any cuts or bruises. She was simply pushed away. Apparently this has left her traumatized and frightened to leave her home.
A large articulated lorry got stuck in a town high street when, due to heavy rain, part of the street collapsed under its wheels. As the driver called for assistance on his mobile a traffic warden issued him with a ticket. The driver pointed out that the truck wheels had sunk into the wide hole caused by the subsidence and he couldn’t physically move his truck until a hoist arrived to lift it out of the hole. The traffic warden apparently smiled and pointed to the ‘No Parking’ sign and double yellow lines, stuck the ticket on the stricken trucks windscreen and wandered off.
A well known ‘naturist’ holiday resort caused confusion as holidaying nudists arrived at its gates. A sign read “Due to a health and safety assessment, clothing must be worn at all times”
Due to a health and safety assessment I must now cease typing this article in case I begin suffering repetitive stress syndrome in my fingers and that would be more than my jobs worth.