The Continuing Adventures Of Billy No Mates

billy no matesBilly No Mates has occasionally been renamed Billy Bastard – mainly because he can be a complete bastard you know. He seems to be obsessed with doing things of an unspeakable nature to Purrdy – but she is, frankly, a tart. She shoves her ass in his face and then squeals when he responds – typical woman eh? Oops – I’m in trouble again 😉

Billy No Mates IS neutered I hasten to add. As responsible cat owners we are aware that there are more than enough cats in the world and by neutering him we are ‘doing our bit’ to protect him from FIV and FELV and so forth. (For the uninitiated FIV is the cat version of AIDS – give or take – and FELV is the cat version of – I’ve forgotten – anyways it’s a nasty illness that will kill them as it will kill us. Feline Leukemia? – How DO you spell that? Oh good grief – I have an English ‘O’ Level and I can’t spell it. My apologies, I am getting old and prone to forgetfulness. Or is it ‘forgetfullness’ with another ‘l’. Oh I don’t know, it’s hopeless).

Anyway. Billy No Mates continues on his adventures oblivious to the world – and good for him eh? If only we could all be oblivious to the world!

Gracie Mae The Fruit Bat is currently ‘having an issue’ with Marie Bug as Marie Bug has decided that Gracie Mae The Fruit Bat is her arch enemy. We have no idea why Marie Bug has reached this conclusion but, then again, we aren’t cats are we?

Anyway, Gracie Mae The Fruit Bat has taken to Billy No Mates as her protector and he is, currently, living up to Gracie Mae The Fruit Bat’s expectations.

Well, at least he hasn’t tried to shag her yet, and for Billy No Mates that is a plus!

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Posted by on October 30, 2013. Filed under Animals,CRITTER TALK. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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One Response to The Continuing Adventures Of Billy No Mates

  1. Norman Rampart

    November 10, 2013 at 7:25 pm

    Billy No Mates is distraught that nobody cares to comment.

    Actually, his adventures have probably run their natural course so I will resist contributing anymore.

    Well, I will until he grows to 80 feet and attacks Central London anyway 😉

    Billy is grateful to have been here.

    Actually, as he is a cat and no idea that he had been here he couldn’t give a toss.

    I could though – so thank you for enjoying his adventures.

    I’ll save a few up over the next few months and shove them in ‘en masse’ – it’ll be fun when it happens.

    T’ra from Billy No Mates

    ….for now 😉