Dr. Strangelove: Or how I learned to stop worrying and embrace President Chris Christie
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Since 1960 the Republican presidential nominee has usually been determined by whoever republicans think should be next up. This scenario has played out every time except 1976 when Gerry Ford screwed Ronald Reagan out of his turn. Republicans, however, made it up to our greatest president by nominating the great and wise one in 1980 to save us from Jimmy Carter, whom I actually liked until I became a republican.
A special year, however, is 2016 since there are no republicans that stand out as deserving a turn. Not Paul Ryan or Rand Paul. They are kooks whose brand of kookiness started by Ron Paul has been rejected for years. What we republicans are looking for is not someone who will just tell us the bullshit we want to hear about low taxes and less government, but tell the centrists and some of the left leaners the bullshit they want to hear all the while knowing that we real Americans, Christian republicans, understand it’s all bullshit.
Governor Chris Christie is the man for this job. He can embrace President Obama one week and hate on gays and tramps wanting abortions, and teachers and unions the next. He can demand federal government assistance for hurricane relief while pounding the table for less government in the same breath. These qualities plus his lack of eloquence make him the logical choice for rank and file southern republican voters who hate government but love their conservative republican Congressmen and senators who bring back billions more to the state for welfare and medicaid than they pay into the federal government.
Governor Christie has proven he can say whatever bullshit everyone wants to hear and win an election in New Jersey. His hugging of President Obama guaranteed enough positive feeling among Blacks that unless a Black guy runs against him he will get half the Black vote. God help the democrats if Christie finds a Latin guy to hug. Florida and California will be in the Christie column for sure in 2016.
The country has shown it really hasn’t cared about morals and character since Eisenhower. We all knew Nixon was a creep. He won two elections. 1976 was an aberration with Ford and Carter. We had no creep or person of questionable morals to vote for. Reagan made up for his high character by surrounding himself with creeps like Dick Cheney. And we loved him all the more for it. Especially when he took blame for the Iran/Contra scandal which, in all honesty, it’s likely he didn’t have a clue as to what it was.
Governor Christie fills our need for a flawed individual. He is a walking billboard for many of the deadly sins of man. He understands truth doesn’t matter as long as he says enough bullshit to give those who demand to be fed bullshit their fix. For these reasons I have no doubt Chris Christie will be the next President of the United States. He’s exactly what this Nation deserves.
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AAAGGGHH! You caught us Norman. One of the reasons Sarah Palin was unveiled was to provide eye candy to the kooks. That picture of her in the red,white and blue bikini and holding an assault rifle? Sure it was a photo shop but it was done by us. We would have won Florida and Virginia had we not used up all the billboard sized copies in the other southern states.
And by the way, thanks for Tony Blair also. Should I ever get to England which is possible cause I understand the language although it isn’t American, I would enjoy a silly evening over a few pints with you.
Because your country gave us the Iron Lady, and good friend of Ronald Reagan, Margaret Matcher, I will not make fun of your silliness Norman.
C’mon Jess. The only reason we even ran McCain was because it was his turn and we knew he would lose anyway. Just like when you guys picked Mondale and McGovern.
Hillary is a serious candidate quite simply because she is not particularly physically attractive anymore – she may have been in her youth but not now.
The cynic in me says that men will vote for her because they believe in her as there is no other reason for men to vote for her.
That isn’t intended as sexist – just honest.
Would I vote for her as a ‘sexy woman’? Nope. Neither would you as a man.
Would I vote for her if I believed in whatever it is she believes? Yep. – assuming I held similar beliefs obviously.
If you believe in her you’ll vote for her chaps eh?
Mind you, as chaps, we’d vote in a Playboy Bunny if they stood wouldn’t we?
Come on now…be honest 😉
And precisely what is wrong with being silly Joseph???
Come on old bean….we only get one shot at life so let’s be silly and have a laugh eh?
We’re a long time dead mate….
People with the same initial in both their Christian and surnames are to be treated with suspicion.
Gary Glitter – Pedophile
Kim Kardasian – Vacant waste of space
Ronald Regan – oops
I know…I know…Alan Alda supurb for so many years in M.A.S.H and Charlie Chaplin untranscended (is that a word?) in silent movies and Tina Turner…..oh BOY!!! Tina Turner eh???
Still, it is necessary to treat with suspicion anyone whose Christian name begins with the same letter as their surname.
I believe this because I’m not all there. Are you? Really? Oh well….crack on then….
So there.
Adolph Atler
Bennito Bussolini
Al Apone
Myra Mindley
General Galtieri (well, clearly ‘General’ wasn’t his first name but what the hell?)
Richard Rixon (The only miss-spelt President)
Margaret Matcher
Baloney Bliar (I’m getting quite clever now eh?)
Barack Boreama – oops…soz
Look, I could carry on but, if I did you would have me taken away by the ‘men in white coats’ and locked in a padded cell and I prefer my own padded cell thank you very much.
Bruce Bee the amazing buzzing Kung Fu fighter, Madonna ‘get yer tits out’ Madwoman who sings things – vaguely.
I think I should go to bed now. What do you think? 😉
hic
Hillary will run, and she will run, barring some obscure, secret scandal. I can’t wait!
Indeed she will and I already have my I’m ready for Hillary sticker on my vehicle.
While you have no bigger fan then me Jess, the facts are the propaganda machine my side controls dwarfs even that of the Clintons.
We have perfected the art of convincing kooks, uneducated and zealots to vote for us even though it’s brutally against their own interests.
Hillary can have all the smart, caring people. We’ll take the idiots who believe all that birther crap and the independents who long for a “compromiser.” Bwahahahahaha…
Think about it, the election before, old man Walnuts thought he would get the gyno-American vote by bringing Bible Spice, Our Lady of Perpetual Victimhood on his ticket using that propaganda machine. You see how well that worked out for them. Remember, they used to call the Big dog the 1st AA prez before we got an actual AA prez in the form of one President Barack Obama (I still love typing that btw) and the Clinton’s piss the righties off to no end, her especially, because they are smart politicos. Like I said, I cannot wait, but wait I will, for the inevitable crash and burn of the GoOper primaries and all the debates, they will make the last candidates look like Einstein.
I’m thinking he will be Mitt Romney to infinity, walking back all his inclusiveness, when he has to go to the states like South Carolina where racism and being an uber Christianist trumps everything for the GoOper primary voter. He will not be able to walk back placing a Muslim, A MUSLIM I tell you, on one of the NJ courts or his backing off the fight to let “teh gheyz” get married in Jersey or the m ost eveil of all hugging the Prez when they were doing Hurricane Sandy business. Oh and if Mz Clinton gets in, he is toast, even in Texas. 20% of the idiots will vote for him no matter what, since he has R behind his name but look at what happened last time, you had Trump, Bachmann et all in front runner status till the last man standing was tagged with you’re it. Any one of them will be blown away by the awesome that is Hillary and I for one cannot wait to see the primaries AGAIN.
You underestimate the power of our propaganda machine and intelligence of our base when you think Christie will have a problem getting through the republican primaries Bill.
You also underestimate the power of people wanting to hear the bullshit they want to hear. As long as we and Christie keep saying he’s not an extremist and he is a comprimiser, the independents and hopers will be in his fold.
Joe, I would imagine that Christie would be a formidable Republican challenger for president in 2016. I think even Democrats realize that he is conservative but he is not an extremist. The fact that Christie has and at least seems to be able to compromise to get things done is a plus in his column. His problem will be getting through the Republican primaries
I’m both glad and disappointed you see through the good governor Lyndon. My bet is not many others will. Christie in 2016!
Governor Christie is one of those odd ducks that comes quacking by from time to time, and it’s important to remember that if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck it probably is. In other words, Christie is a republican, through and through, and no amount of gruff charm and occasional shows of bipartisanship can change that.