Only Ronald Reagan Can Save Christmas

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A Ronald Reagan Christmas.  Pic courtesy of adpressive.com.
A Ronald Reagan Christmas. Pic courtesy of adpressive.com.

Every year a bunch of my conservative friends make up nonsense about the “war on Christmas” being staged by evil atheist liberals. And while of course agree that liberals are evil atheists, they really aren’t waging any wars on Christmas as they like presents as much as anyone.  Probably more so since they all sit on their asses waiting for government handouts. Liberals love getting free stuff.

Carrying the conservative meme to an even more silly state is one of my FOX News hotties who says Santa Claus is white.   For whatever reason this misguided, albeit hot, young lady, forgot one of the main tenets of conservative republicanism: we are supposed to be mean at all times to children!   The truth hurts children but it makes them better people. Telling them Santa is white is stupid. The only accepted answer to that question is there is no Santa Claus dummy!   Then that is followed up with an explanation why expecting presents is a terrible thing regardless of the season.  Sadly the liberals and big government types have spoiled people into thinking they deserve presents.

As I see it, and this should become part of the republican platform in 2016, we should replace the entire Holiday Season from Thanksgiving through New Years with a month long celebration of the greatest American ever, President Ronald Reagan.   A man who wasn’t made up by some goofy poet and who without a doubt was white.

President Reagan had a deep love and understanding of America and the world. He is universally loved.  His optimism and patriotism deserve a month of celebration.  If Muslims can celebrate Ramadan for a month we can certainly honor a real hero for a month.  If Catholics can spend 40 days observing Lent then certainly President Reagan deserves the same treatment for th way he transformed the world and made it a better place to live once the great benefits from the Reagan tax cuts begin to trickle down.

Of course there will be no argument between those who say “Merry Reagan Month” or “Happy Reagan Month” as Reagan is beloved by all.  His speeches shall be read in schools and instead of a bunch of time off which harms GNP and productivity, we could all work extra to honor the great man and enjoy paying lower taxes on the extra money we make.

I ask you all to remember Jesus Christ this important season. The season of Ronald Reagan.  A very merry Reagan Days to everyone at MadMike’s America and the world.

About Post Author

Joe Hagstrom

Reformed Liberal now dedicated to saving world from Obamacare and Godless Atheists. Using MadMike's America to audition for high paying job with Fox News.
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Joe Hagstrom
10 years ago

I know you have to deliver some sass to placate the heathens that infest MMA Jess but I think we both know now where your heart is taking you. Welcome to the side of goodness and empowering people to better themselves without big government interference. To paraphrase your sweet reference, Let the shower of gold rain down like Reaganomics all over America!

I can’t wait to tell the boys at the club about this. They will for sure appreciate the golden shower.

Joe Hagstrom
10 years ago

Everyone knows my Christian upbringing and loathing of foul language Mr. Mahoney. Especially when used in the same sentence with the great Ronald Reagan. I’ll thank you to be respectful as Ms. Jess was when she spoke of something that must be a good thing if it’s name is any indication: ‘golden shower.”

Thank you Jess for your apt description of the transformative economic theory of Trickle Down as something as sweet as a golden shower.

Jess
Reply to  Joe Hagstrom
10 years ago

That’s me alright, little miss respectful when it comes to beloved GoOpers like St Ronnie of Raygun. It’s on a sash somewhere, right next to my I love republicans one.

Timmy Mahoney
10 years ago

Ronald fucking Reagan is responsible for where our country is today with this low taxes, trickle down (and it will NEVER trickle down Joe), and other assorted republican bullshit. Fuck him.

Joe Hagstrom
10 years ago

Let us not argue how we celebrate the great and wise President Reagan Stacy. Let us just agree that he is great and pay him homage.
I’m even thinking we should have a year of Reagan. If the Chinese can have a year of the rat or cow, the certainly President Reagan deserves a year.

Jess
Reply to  Joe Hagstrom
10 years ago

So, we’ll have a year of the asshole then. Hmmm, wonder how that will be depicted.

Admin
10 years ago

Trickle down…trickle down….trickle down…….Ho Ho Ho!

Jess
Reply to  Professor Mike
10 years ago

Sorry O Tannenbaum

Oh trickle down oh trickle down
How much we love the golden shower.

Come on now, no fun doing this all myself. Add to it as I added to Mike’s comment 🙂

Stacey Gray
10 years ago

That’s “Merry Month of Reagan”, blasphemous infidel!

“There you go again.” Ho Ho Ho

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