Republican Action Alert: We Now Hate Ronald Reagan
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First of all I need to admonish NRC chairman Reince Priebus for not notifying us loyal republicans that we’re now supposed to hate the former great American, Ronald Reagan.
Like other loyal republicans I had to find out from other sources. With me it was watching my good friend Bill O’Reilly while he was interviewing another great American and true intellectual giant, Sarah Palin. It was obvious Mrs. Palin didn’t get the message either as Bill had to coach her during the interview until she parroted what he was saying about the former great American.
Seeing as how Reince and the boys at the RNC have failed to provide us the information we need so our message remains consistent, I feel it is my duty to update other loyal Americans of the republicans new plan. We have to take this action since despite President Obama’s worst ever poll numbers, republican poll numbers aren’t getting any better. So we decided intead of going all John Lennon and start loving, we would embrace more hate. And that’s why we now hate Ronald Reagan. He signed a bill that helped Mexicans when he was president. Bad enough it was for 3 million of them. Now there’s 12 million of them. Good thing Reagan isn’t president now. We’d have to hate him four times as much.
Reagan also signed bills raising taxes after his tax cut bills. We hate that. Especially the deal he made with Tip O’Neil, whom we hated for being a Massachusettes liberal, that hiked Social Security taxes and kept it solvent for decades. That’s decades of old people living with security and dignity. Damn that Ronald Reagan! We republicans hate old people. That’s why we must eliminate Social security and Medicare. It has entitled too many old people with giveaway entitlements. Just because they paid taxes into the system makes no difference. That money could have stayed in their pockets and they would be free today. That warm feeling of freedom would keep them comfortable on cold nights.
In closing I will endeavor to keep real Americans updated on the latest republican strategies and talking points. Sadly my party chairman’s failure to do so has made this necessary. Should he not straighten up I will be forced to run for RNC Chairman myself.
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Sarah Palin and I would feel sorry for him too if we didn’t hate him so much Bill.
Joe, after reading this I actually feel sorry for Ronny.
What makes you think I wasn’t serious Rachel? We seriously hate Mexicans and old people unless they vote for whom we tell them to. Not that we like or respect those ones.
Ha Ha! Joe I agree with Mike. This might be your best yet, because I couldn’t stop laughing, even when I thought you might be serious.
Joe I laughed my ass off at this one. Certain to be a pulitzer candidate now!