When Reverend Mother Hears Confession

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sunday-confessional

The local priest is called away on an emergency. He takes the Reverend Mother aside and asks her to handle the Confession during his absence. “I wouldn’t know what to do,” she protests.

“It’s no problem,” he tells her. I’ve posted a little list of all the sins on the wall of the booth.”

…So, the first guy walks in. “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I had impure thoughts.”

She looks on the chart, and sees Impure Thoughts = 5 Hail Marys.

The next guy comes in. “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I committed adultery.”Adultery = 10 Hail Marys.

The third guy comes in. “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I engaged in oral sex.”

The Reverend Mother looks on the wall, but oral sex isn’t listed. In a panic, she spies an Altar Boy. “Pssst,” she whispers, “What does Father usually give for oral sex?”

The Altar Boy answers, “Well, I don’t know what you can get, Mother, but I usually get a pat on the head and a candy bar.”

Hat tip to David for this little gem.

About Post Author

Professor Mike

Professor Mike is a left-leaning, dog loving, political junkie. He has written dozens of articles for Substack, Medium, Simily, and Tribel. Professor Mike has been published at Smerconish.com, among others. He is a strong proponent of the environment, and a passionate protector of animals. In addition he is a fierce anti-Trumper. Take a moment and share his work.
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10 years ago

I thought it was going to be, “What’s a blowjob?” and the answer, “$5”

Reply to  Professor Mike
10 years ago

It’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?

One word for you – inflation. That’s economics, not biology.

Timmy Mahoney
10 years ago

Funny man, and I thought I’d heard most of these.

Rachael
10 years ago

OMG! LOL! I can’t stop laughing but not sure I should. Brilliant.

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