Hair Today Nuke Tomorrow

About Norman Rampart
I am an Englishman, originally from a small village in Lancashire where everyone looks the same - even, slightly worryingly, the sheep. I have been residing reluctantly in the general area of London for 38 years. I came here for three weeks, ran out of money and couldn't afford the coach fare home. I believe that an Englishman's home is his castle. Even if it is only a small end of terrace pile of bricks.
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Kim Jong-Un, friendly and benevolent leader of peaceful and socially advanced North Korea has recently proven that he still had some marbles to lose after all – albeit he has now lost those remaining few.

North Korean students must, in future, model their hair styles on his he has stated. If that doesn’t cause a revolution to get rid of Mr Potato Head Kim then I don’t know what will.

The world awaits with bated breath the emergence of Dennis Rodman proudly displaying the Kim Jong-Un style as, surely, being best buddies Rodman must show his continued and valued support to the greatest leader the planet has ever known in its entire history.

It is currently unclear whether Jon-Un has decided to nuke North Korean schools and universities in order to assist with this new hair styling although unofficial sources are claiming this would be a quite reasonable option given the effects of radiation on a persons hair. ‘And besides’ continued my unofficial source, ‘barbers charge so much these days a couple of nukes would save the students a fortune and they’d get Kim’s style for free!’

My unofficial source also pointed out the quite reasonable hypothesis that the immortal and illustrious and incredibly handsome leader could even save the worlds men a small fortune in hairdressing costs by nuking everywhere on the planet ensuring, via fall out, that all the worlds men would be able to look suave and sophisticated with this beautiful style.

All hail Mr Potato Head! Lifelong style icon for discerning young men everywhere!

Now where did I find that site for fall out shelters?

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Posted by on March 30, 2014. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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4 Responses to Hair Today Nuke Tomorrow

  1. Stacey Gray

    March 30, 2014 at 11:22 am

    Such a snappy dresser too! Such sensitivity to his palette!

    (In his case pallet is probably more accurate!)

  2. Bill Formby

    March 31, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    This guy is so weird in so many ways. The interesting thing is that he has been out into the real world and knows that his jibberish is a bunch of BS but he has to do it to maintain his lifestyle in that god forsaken country. If they ever come out of the closet it will take a massive humanitarian aid package just to get the average person healthy.

  3. Norman Rampart

    April 2, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    I reckon it’s so nobody will know who the real one is when someone eventually tries to top the mad bastard