6 Failed Bible Prophecies

The end of the world prophecy, just another that didn't come to pass.  Pic courtesy of www.endoftheworld.net

The end of the world prophecy, just another that didn’t come to pass. Pic courtesy of www.endoftheworld.net

The Bible is a book, not unlike a Stephen King novel but a lot less believable and certainly less exciting.  There are a lot of things wrong with this ancient tome, not the least of which are the many assertions, or prophecies claimed by the authors as absolute.  These ancient desert dwellers claimed they originated with God himself, and must therefore never be questioned.

Well, the fact is, like many things the ‘Old Man’ was alleged to have said, many have been just plain wrong.  After all if the Bible were true it would not contain any failed prophecies, yet it does. Before we explore these failed prophecies let’s discuss the so-called fulfilled prophecies. Most of the prophecies from the Old Testament, like those fulfilled by Jesus, are only “fulfilled” within the stories of the New Testament.

Here are six examples of Biblical future telling that made about as much sense as a guy named Jesus rising from the dead and ascending into heaven, thirty some years after he was conceived by a mother who never had sex:

Isaiah 17:1 “An oracle concerning Damascus: See, Damascus will no longer be a city but will become a heap of ruins.”

FAIL: Damascus is still inhabited today with well over a million people and there was never a time where it ceased to be a city. It is widely known as being the oldest continuously inhabited city in the world.

Isaiah 19:4-5 “I will hand the Egyptians over to the power of a cruel master, and a fierce king will rule over them, declares the Lord, the LORD Almighty. The waters of the river will dry up, and the riverbed will be parched and dry.”

FAIL: The river mentioned here is the Nile which never dried up and is still one of Egypt’s greatest natural resource.

Isaiah 52:1 “Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again.”

FAIL: There are still uncircumcised people living in Jerusalem even today.

Ezekiel 30:10-11 “This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will put an end to the hordes of Egypt by the hand of Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon. He and his army – the most ruthless of nations – will be brought in to destroy the land. They will draw their swords against Egypt and fill the land with the slain.”

FAIL: Ezekiel predicts that Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon will conquer Egypt utterly destroying it, slaying and scattering its people. In 568 BCE Nebuchadnezzar tried to conquer Egypt and Egypt survived with no apparent damage. Aahmes ruled for another generation over a prosperous Egypt and lived to see Nebuchadnezzar die. The Egyptians were not scattered or dispersed.

Ezekiel 29:10-11 “therefore I am against you and against your streams, and I will make the land of Egypt a ruin and a desolate waste from Migdol to Aswan, as far as the border of Cush. The foot of neither man nor beast will pass through it; no one will live there for forty years.”

FAIL: Never in its long history has Egypt been uninhabited for forty years.

Matthew 16:28 “I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” 23:36 “I tell you the truth, all this will come upon this generation.” 24:34 “I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened.”
FAIL: Jesus states in Matthew that all the signs marking the end of the world would be fulfilled before his generation ended, before the people that were standing in front of him “taste death.” Those people have been dead for over 2000 years and the world did not come to an end, neither have all those signs been fulfilled.
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Posted by on May 14, 2014. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION,HERESY. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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5 Responses to 6 Failed Bible Prophecies

  1. Glenn Geist

    May 14, 2014 at 9:28 am

    Elaine Pagels said that you can’t explain all the Bible as political, but none the less, I do. These raging Ezekiels and Isiahs and others are writing to motivate people to protect or restore the priesthood of their own times and we simply pretend it has universal application.

    Threatening God’s vengeance on that endless sequence of conquerers and oppressors of certain tribes is just propaganda, blaming the endless series of defeats on lack of obedience is the same and perhaps the entire story of a united Hebrew people with a common origin is the same kind of fiction.

    Most of it is simply an argument for retaining or returning to the old religious practices and expelling or murdering those who don’t. None of them thought they’d be writing for, or in fact gave a shit about a 21st century audience.

    In most cases we forget about old predictions when they fail, but Religious writers have an amazing ability to reinterpret, redact, mistranslate and reinvent that sure, all that stuff is going to come true any day now just as it has been about to come true for all these thousands of years and always will be about to come true in saecula saeculorum, amen

  2. Joe Hagstrom

    May 14, 2014 at 9:49 am

    The Bible must be treated as Reaganomics. Just as Reagan’s tax and borrow policies will eventually lead to more revenue and a stronger economy, Bible prophecies will come to fruition. Although both may take thousands more years to come true.

    Till then my republican friends will just tell us all this stuff happened or is happening now.

  3. James Smith

    May 14, 2014 at 10:30 am

    Only Six? How about all of them? Not one “prophecy” has ever come true.

    The ones made after the fact can be considered history comments or outright lies.

    • Glenn Geist

      May 14, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      Well, what is truth after all? It’s what you say it is.

      Did a young woman in Bethlehem give birth to Jesus? Just like you said, that story, like so many was written long after the prophecy to make the prophecy seem true and when the prophecy isn’t quite suitable, you play games with the translations — change “pierce them in the side” to “pierce him in the side and then make up a story about a roman with a spear — even make fake spears and sell them!

      Some girl will someday give birth to a boy to continue the line of Ahaz? Why we translate ‘almah’ as ‘parthenos’ and then as ‘virgo intacta” and lo, we have a virgin birth and the boy becomes Jesus, the heir of David and since David was appointed of and beloved of God, why then Jesus is God’s own son and as long as we’ve come this far, is God himself who existed before God himself. All we need to do is concoct a story about Bethlehem which is easy.

      With dishonesty, all is possible.

  4. Bill Formby

    May 14, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Well, the Damascus thing is still on a wait and see basis but I don’t see any biblical hand in it at all.