Donald Sterling-Suffering From Black Penis Envy
Read Time:2 Minute, 14 Second
I always feel sad when a fellow white person, especially a rich one like my good friend Donald Sterling, owner of the Clippers NBA franchise are on the receiving end of unfair treatment.
Don has been vilified for simply asking his girlfriend not to hang around with black guys. As a holder of degrees in many subjects from the Liberty Online University of Haiti I can categorically state Don is not a racist. He is displaying the classic symptoms of what we call in the psyche business as “Black Penis Envy.” The poor afflicted soul simply doesn’t want his girlfriend tempted by black penises.
The roots of this affliction date back hundreds of years. It is believed by many who support my good friends in the republican party [who want to make sure they can buy all the guns they want regardless of what kind they are and how many, as well as don’t want to be encumbered with long lines waiting to vote so think it’s patriotic that it be made harder for minorities to vote], that black men have bigger penises that white men. They also believe black men are better at sex than white men. This is a product of the belief that all black guys do is think about sex. Not that it matters as it doesn’t really matter as females never had orgasms till Gloria Steinham invented them. Yet the afflicted suffer the delusion that the temptation of a large black penis would be more than their women could resist.
There really is no cure for this affliction. Penis enhancing drugs have proven to be useless. Many of my wealthier white friends try buying Corvettes and getting hair transplants but alas, they still suffer. No matter how fast the car and how fine the rich Corinthian leather feels, it’s still an old white penis. Of course if the afflicted would just take a look at their wives who grew older with them and appreciate the companionship and love things could be better. That is until they decided they wanted a younger and prettier woman who might be tempted by a black penis as well.
We shall continue efforts at our research facilities to figure out how to convince young, gorgeous women to better appreciate old rich, balding white men with big bellies and estranged wives. This is real science like creationism. Not some Darwinesque nonsense or climate change hokum. And with the prayers and backing of our friends at The 700 Club and Heritage Foundation soon Obamacare will be destroyed, except for the part about Viagra being covered, and women will come to appreciate the wonderfulness of rich old white guys.
Amen.
Happy
0 %
Sad
0 %
Excited
0 %
Sleepy
0 %
Angry
0 %
Surprise
0 %
0
0
I don’t often laugh out loud at the pc. I did. Thanks old bean. A touch of genius in that.
I am not thinking just black penis envy. Also too, praise Gloria for the orgasm if she indeed was the finder of this wonderful thing.
I am hurt beyond hurt Joe, that you people only want young blond maybe Asian women. As an exotic ethnic beauty I will find it nearly impossible to find an older white rich racist republican gentleman to keep me.
Nobody ever said life was fair unless you were born wealthy and white Jess. We like Asian chicks cause they’re pre broken by culture. It’s when they start hanging around with headstrong women like you they turn on us and hang out with black guys and thinking about orgasms.
Sorry. My blonde Asian concubine forgot to sign me in. She better not have been thinking about black guys and orgasms Ms. Jess.
LOL!! Yeah. In your dreams Joe, well at least in mine, when I was younger of course, not now. Oh no. Not now.
We rich white republicans aren’t looking for whores fellows. We want young, nubile blonds, and sometimes Asians, that appreciate our money and the nice things we buy them in return for their affections.
Don’t you atheist weirdos know the difference?
Joe I’m with Bill on this one. I read that Sterling commented after this was released: I should have paid the bitch off like she asked. Yep. He should have.
Joe, that is a wonderful analysis of part of Donald Sterling problems but you see that’s not all of it. Part of his problem is his poor selection in those gorgeous young women. The last thing you want when you are purchasing the company of one of these beautiful creatures is one that is not a racist herself and certainly you do not want her to be a minority. You want one of those beautiful young things that was raised in the South by a good racist family, preferably one that formerly owned slaves, and thinks that being kept by a wealthy man is the ultimate goal in life. Their are still plenty of them around but their costs are just a bit more, but what is another thousand dollars to a billionaire? Trust me, there still a lot of 19 and 20 year old girls who will sell their souls for a price. You just got to pick the right hunting ground. One other thing there Don old boy. Think what you want to but keep your f**king mouth shut.
Ha ha! Joe I have to agree with Rachael. Mike you need to send this to the MSM 🙂
Joe you’re going to win that Pulitzer yet. This was so much fun!!!