I was reading my emails the other day and I got one from a long lost acquaintance who was encouraging me to vote for a particular person in the up coming election. Since he pointed out this was a good Christian conservative fellow you can surmise just how lost and distant this acquaintance was to me.
The email did get me to thinking, and yes I do that from time to time, about this description. A “good Christian conservative fellow.” For clarification, the fellow part was his words, not mine because I never use the word “fellow.” That sounds more like Norman’s word and I feel like I would be intruding on his tundra by using it.
I would like to examine, however, the other words and in particular “conservative.” There was a time when one might have called me slightly conservative because I did, and still do, believe in the justice system when it is applied fairly. Unfortunately that rarely, if ever happens, unless you’re a very wealthy person and then it seems to work fair to the extreme. I would say that I was a fiscal conservative also in the sense that if a person was physically able to work then we should not just hand them money (welfare). We should find work for them to do so they feel as if they are actually earning their way in society. There were some experiments with those programs and I’m not sure if they are still ongoing, but that is to give you an idea of my position on things.
I have always been against the death penalty because I’ve always understood that it has never deterred one person from doing anything. Though not religious now I do remember as child something a Methodist minister saying to me: When Cain killed Able God had the opportunity to show man whether or not he approved of capital punishment. If you don’t know the story, God did not execute Cain but, instead, shone a light upon him and sent him to live among those in the land of Nod, or something like that. Anyway, his point was God showed that he did not believe in the eye for an eye crap. But, when one does something wrong there is some price to pay I believe. But, these days I’m afraid that I am looked upon as a screaming, out of my mind liberal, at least that is what they call me. They being some of the local rednecks and once before Mad Mike.
I would like to refer back to the sixties when there were compassionate conservatives. As bad as Nixon was I could probably consider him an angel compared to many of the politicians today and Nixon was a mean son-of-a-bitch. Lyndon Johnson was a good southern democrat who tried to carry out John Kennedy’s plans but was woefully lacking in the brain power to do it. He did have guts though; I will give him that. It took a lot of courage to face down his Southern Brethren on civil rights issues, but he did it. We also had folks like Barry Goldwater who was crazy as hell but at best he would be too far left these days and, Strom Thurmond, bless his heart, would have been drummed out of the Senate.
So, I ask myself: “When someone says they are a conservative what exactly do they mean?” It’s OK folks. When Rascal, my beloved dog and best friend, is not around it’s hard to find someone in Alabama with whom I can intelligently converse. So, continuing my conversation, myself said back to me, “Bill, you must understand the context under which you are trying to define this term lest you fall into the trap of thinking that you are dealing with a true, old style Republican instead of one of these newly found righteous minded, Christian wannabe politicians know nothings that are gumming up the process today.” Myself has a problem just saying dumb asses. But, I asked myself, “Self”, I said again. “How can I tell the difference if they all just stand there and tell me that they are good, Christian, conservative people.” Self said, “Damn, Bill are you a complete idiot?”
“Anytime someone starts telling you that they are good, or Christian, or conservative, much less puts those three words in the same sentence, you need to be heading for the door because that’s one of those I just described for you. Do not pass go! Do not collect your $200! Do not wait for Lynard Skynard to play “Gimme Three Steps,” or Ray Charles to sing “Hit the Road Jack,” “Just hop on the bus Gus. Make a new plan Stan. No need to discuss much-just get yourself free.” “These people have a bad case of the stupids and they cannot be fixed” OK.
They are NOT conservative. They are fucking NUTS!