Why I Hate Atheists

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atheism-earthI’ve read a number of things about atheists that don’t make them sound like very nice people. It’s well known that American voters are more likely to vote for a Muslim candidate than an atheist.

If an employer has a choice between hiring a gay or an atheist candidate, the gay person will get the job. And it’s common knowledge that without a belief in the Bible or a deity who will punish misdeeds that atheists have no moral compass to keep them from becoming depraved perverts and criminals, and that because of their own “religion” – science and evolution – they consider themselves no better than animals.

That said, I really hate atheists because they keep intruding on my life.

Every Saturday morning, I can count on answering my doorbell to find a couple of atheists on my porch. They’ve ignored my “No Soliciting” sign and they’re dressed in fancy suits, as if to prove that they are richer and better than I am. They’re holding copies of their not-holy works – The God DelusionWhy Evolution Is True and DVD copies of Bill Maher’s Religulous. The want to lecture me about their nonbelief and would talk for hours if I didn’t slam the door in their faces. When I figure it’s safe to go out, in front of my door I find a pile of those hateful little atheist comic books based on the writings of people like Richard Dawkins, P.Z. Meyers, Jerry Coyne and Greta Christina.

Then on Sundays, I can’t sleep in because the atheist meeting hall in the next block rings its bells to summon the unfaithful to their gatherings. Why do they have to be so noisy? I just want to be able to get a few extra hours of shut-eye at least one day a week. I really resent all the tax breaks nontheist groups take advantage of, and how they use the money to buy political favoritism from greedy politicians . A bunch of flippin’ hypocrites, if you ask me.

And now the Supreme Court has ruled that atheist employers can force their female employees to use birth control, have abortions and receive the same pay as their male co-workers. They just don’t seem to get the idea that women are inferior creations and not entitled to equality. The nest thing you know, atheists will be insisting that everybody get divorced so they can marry same-sex partners and require teaching evolution and climate change as facts.

There’s the picketing at military funerals by free thinkers, which pisses me off as much as anything I’ve mentioned so far. Just who do these people think they are and why do they hate our country so much? I figure they probably hate it because God made America the great place it is and that’s intolerable to them.

It’s not just weekends that are a problem. On any given day when I go downtown, there never fails to be a street corner with some atheist shouting nonbeliever nonsense into a megaphone. Where do they get off telling me I’m not going to hell, that I should enjoy the only life I have, love whomever I want and to be nice to other people, not out of fear, but because it’s the right thing to do?

That’s why I hate atheists – they’re just too damned pushy for their own good (and good is something they don’t have), always telling me what not to believe. Yeah, I wish all those people would just shut up and go away.

About Post Author

E.A. Blair

E.A. Blair is the 'nom de commenter' of someone who has been a teacher, game designer, programmer, logistic support officer and technical writer at various times in his life. Most of the hits in a search on his real name predate the internet; it appears exactly four times in Wikipedia and six times on IMDb.
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Jerry Alan Kimbro
2 years ago

I don’t think you hate atheists at all. I think you ARE one. I learned a new word today: misotheism. look it up, bub.

Theist
3 years ago

I am a Christian, but I’d just like to say that the people you are talking about are not Atheists. An Atheist does not believe in God, you are taking about Misotheists who hate religeous people… Unless this is a satire about Christians, in which case I would like to say that they’re f**kers for harrasing you.

Theist
Reply to  Theist
3 years ago

Ha! I copied the comment below me!

Anonymous
Reply to  Theist
3 years ago

Dude… Uncool.

Anonymous
3 years ago

I am a Christian, but I’d just like to say that the people you are talking about are not Atheists. An Atheist does not believe in God, you are taking about Misotheists who hate religeous people… Unless this is a satire about Christians, in which case I would like to say that they’re f**kers for harrasing you.

Pete
3 years ago

Good blog! I enjoy speaking with atheists – agnostics – heathen – scoffers… you get the idea. Why? Because here in 2020 and living in the midst of the pestilence (Isaiah 26:20), we are at the end of time and the LORD – in HIS mercy, has opened the book of truth to anyone and everyone who will give a look at daniel11truth. Verse after verse can be verified, starting at Dan 11:20 that occurred in 1979 all the way up to verse 11:30 which is where we are now. The establishment, tortured and nailed the LORD to the cross so HE has mercifully given us these end time events for anyone willing to look. Why? “So HIS house will be full.”

Homepage
6 years ago

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Reverend George
9 years ago

Very good satire! Shame some people don’t get it!. I’m a militant atheist. I don’t care what others believe. Just don’t force it on me!

Anonymous
9 years ago

Very funny shame some people don’t get it !

ghostie
9 years ago

Loved the article. The comments kinda made me feel like I fell into a church meeting.

I try to be a good person because it’s the right thing to do. I don’t care if someone is watching everything I do, because I don’t base my behavior on such a silly thing.

Anyone who does good simply for a reward/to avoid punishment in the afterlife, who needs the threat of someone watching, who is so wrapped up in judging others and trying to force them to follow a certain set of “rules”, is completely missing the big picture.

Just be excellent to each other. That’s all it is. Do it.

Lyndon Probus
9 years ago

Listen easy for the applause. Very Poe-esque indeed although fell a bit flat toward the end.

Glenn Geist
9 years ago

You know, if we substitute, Christian or Jew or Black or Mexican or Brown Eyed Girl for Atheist, even a smug, arrogant, Godbother would see it as a straw man argument.

Here’s a hint, Linh: if you select someone or thing to be “typical” the selection defines you not the bogus group you’re trying to define. You should be embarrassed to attempt a comment like yours in front of adults, many of whom understand elementary logic and have IQs with more than two digits.

And of course since you don’t “believe in” Zeus or Ammon-Ra or Chuckwu or Quetzalcoatl, you’re an atheist yourself and true to form, you’re annoying the hell out of me.

SK Williams
Reply to  Glenn Geist
4 years ago

Atheists need to stop thwe we are all Atheists I just go ione god further routine. Its stupid and makes no sense.

Paul Gallagher
9 years ago

Damn Atheists anyway chasing you through the airport wearing those funny clothes.

Linh
9 years ago

I get that this is supposed to be a satire, but damned if I don’t find militant atheists annoying. Yes, I understand that you don’t believe, but that shouldn’t be the conversation opener, it shouldn’t be the only interesting aspect of your personality.

In fact, shouldn’t the nature of being atheist mean that it is the least relevant thing about your life?

Reply to  Linh
9 years ago

No, you don’t get it at all. Your statements about how atheists behave are unfounded assumptions to fit your chosen beliefs, not reality.

THe least relevant thing about your life is truth.

Reply to  Linh
9 years ago

I don’t see militancy by any means Linh, although you bring up an interesting point about “being atheist mean that it is the least relevant thing about your life.”

Joe
Reply to  Linh
9 years ago

So people talking about atheism are militant atheists? That’s a pretty low bar.

Anonandon
Reply to  Joe
9 years ago

Yes, that is totally what he meant, and totally not you just twisting his words around to misrepresent what he was saying.

You know, it’s the fedora wearing neckbearded douchebags like you that are the problem with modern atheism. You aren’t actually intelligent enough to hold a conversation about religion and spirituality with, but you think you are, so you act like an arrogant cunt.

Herpy McDerp
Reply to  Anonandon
9 years ago

“Fedora wearing neckbearded atheists” do not exist. Go back to 4chan.

Patrick
Reply to  Anonandon
9 years ago

Impressively hypocritical post.

Shady
Reply to  Linh
9 years ago

The problem is that ideas do not exist in a vacuum. Theism cannot be the least important thing in the lives of an atheist because we are NOT free to disbelieve. The world is full to overflowing with theists who, even in the western world, are constantly attempting to legislate their beliefs.

When theists stop trying to keep evolution out of schools, when they stop trying to stomp the rights of minorities, when they stop trying to invoke the bible as justification for legal matters, THEN religion can probably be relegated to where it belongs.

However, as religion refuses to stick to itself, it remains an important issue that we should all be concerned about.

Reply to  Shady
9 years ago

Well said and I couldn’t agree more.

E.A. Blair
Reply to  Shady
9 years ago

Furthermore, It’s not enough to define people strictly on the basis of what they primarily believe or disbelieve. Like the famous optical illusion of the faces and the vase, people’s mental and spiritual states are a combination of figure and ground. We are defined as much by what we are not as by what we are. To use a political example, the Republican Party used to be defined primarily by what they did – brought an end to slavery and preserved the union. New they are primarily defined by what they do not do – govern.

So while I can defined by what I do believe, what and who I am is as much a matter of what I do not. If something I reject is important to who I am, that that rejection is important to me and so is maintaining my right to do so.

skwilliamsss
Reply to  Shady
2 years ago

Why do Atheists use “Theist” when its obvious they mean “Christian”? When You say things like Theists use The Bible for Justification for Legislation, You certainly aren’t talking about Hindus, or Taoism, after all.

Also, the whole idea that Atheists are somehow Victims and its Wrong for Christians to Legislate their Beliefs is Hypocritical and ridiculous. Modern Day Atheists have beliefs to, and this is True even if We accept Anthony Flews redefinition of Atheism as a lack of belief in a god and not a belief that gods don’t exist. Not that this is true, Atheism is actually a Belief that God does not exist, not a lack of belief, but that’s not Really the Issue. The Fact is, Modern Atheists do share the same Belief System, and the idea that they have Nothing in Common but a lack of belief in a god is disproven by the fact that You aren’t the Only Atheist using this Argument to Justify Your attack on them, and Mad Mike’s Satire is not the Only Time an Atheists said the same thing with the same examples. You lot always even invoke the same handful of examples, no matter how extreme they are. Like saying Atheists do not protest Military Funerals. Well, so what? Neither do Christians. If You cite Westboro Baptist Church to prove Chist9ans do in fact Protest Military Funerals, You should Know they are not representative of Christians, and they are Used as a mere excuse.

Modern Day Atheists like Sam Harris are Richard Dawkins are Secular Humanists. They even often admit this. They promote Humanist Values. Humanism is a Religion, and simply adding the word “Secular” to it doesn’t make it not a Religion. Neither does selectively defining Religion as a belief in and reverence of gods and supernatural Powers and pretending there are no other meanings to the term.

And its not like Atheists don’t Persecute Minorities. Because they do. Atheists also want to Dictate what People Learn in School.

Just look at The Freedom From religion Foundation. They literally ran a campaign in which they sought to Ban The Bible from Hotel Rooms, having in the past gone to Federal Court to have it banned, back n the 1980’s. The Court rejected this, so they sought Years later to ban it from Publicly Funded Hotels connected to The Military or Universities, and secured that goal, only to then lament they could not use the Church’s State Argument for Private Hotels and redefined it as a “Major Consumer Complaint”.

Or The Late Hector Avalos leading a Campaign against Guillermo Gonzalez, to block Him from Tenure based on His Belief in Intelligent Design, in Violation of Academic Freedom, which He and other Atheist’s supposedly Hold so Dear.

Or what about all those Atheists who wished to force The Government by Intimidation to not appoint Francis Collins as Head of The Human Genome Project, simply on the basis of His Religious Beliefs as an Evangelical Christian?

Its not like Collins is a Creationist.

Which is another point. Why do Atheists of this Sort always insist on Viewing Christians as a Homogenous Group? The Only Time this is not done is to either bash Christians over is unity of belief as evidence they are Wrong somehow, like with the 30’000 Denominations which One is the True Church routine, or to deny saying All Christians are Alike to deflect from such Criticism?

Of course, most Christians aren’t Creationists globally, and in The United States, most do not want to Ban Evolution from the Classroom. Even the Controversy a few Years Ago was not over Creationists wishing to replace Evolution with Creationism, it was a Campaign for Equal Time. But Misrepresentation is common with Militant Atheists. Like when Sam Harris claimed The Family Research Council and certain Christians at the CDC whose names elude Me opposed The HPV Vaccine as it removed a barrier from Premarital Sex. This of course as false.

I don’t Really Think Atheists who complain about Christians wanting to Legislate their Beliefs are Honest about the Situation. Most Christians are simply not that Radical and do not want the Often Invoked Handmaidens Tale Republics Of Gilead. Nor are they Trying to install Christian Shariah.

While One may say the same of Most Atheists, the Vocal Anti-Christian Atheists Really are far Worse, with Many actively saying Teaching Children Religion is Child Abuse, that Religion is a Mental Illness, that The Religious should not be put into positions of Authority. I have seen proposals ranging from Banning them from Elected Office as they wish to Impose a Theocracy like Iran to seeking to an Obelic Expressions of Religion, on the excuse that this does not Violate Freedom Of Religion as they can be Free to be Religious at Home or in The Church.

And lets not forget how todays Strident Atheists equate Secularism to their own Secular Humanist Beliefs. For example, being For Same Sex Marriage and Abortion are The Secular Position, opposing them are The Religious Position.

They do this for more than just Abortion and Homosexuality’s, too. Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, Steven Pinker, and others have a clearly defined Political Mandate they wish to implement, and Social Values to Instill. Simply saying America is a Secular Nation so we need to base Our Laws on Secularism is enough of a Justification for them to Impose a very Specific understanding of the World We Live in on Everyone Else as it is “The Secular perspective”. Secularism is simply a term used for their own Religion We are supposed to believe is the Opposite of Religion.

I Honestly don’t Think Society is better Served by Imposing their Beliefs and Silencing those who Disagree.

Even Dan Barter and the So-called Christian Nationalists are not anywhere near as awful in Reality as what Militant Atheists are like.

Also, Everyone is motivated by their Beliefs. This includes Atheists. While it is True that Christians Will seek to base Legislation on their Beliefs, it is literally impossible not to do this. After all, Your Beliefs are what allow You to Function. What, exactly, are they supposed to Base their Legislation on?

But most Christians who Work in Legislation do not Maintain Only The Dogma of their Religion and nothing else, and Hold other Beliefs about the Role of Religion in Society, the extent of Volunteerism in adherence to it, and the way in which others Should be Treated. Most do not simply recite Bible Passages and say This should be law and that should be Illeal.

I also Question the Modern view of Religion. Religion as We define it has only been a Conceit since the Mid to Late 1600’s. The term is Older, of course, but the way People used it was different. Our view on Religion specifically, Our Interpretation of the Concept, is itself startlingly New, going back no Further than the Late 19th Century.

The whole Religion is based on Faith, and Faith is Belief Without Evidence canard, or the idea of focusing on Belief in a god as a delineator, misses the Point. I believe Rene Girard had more of a Point when He Argued that The Ideas of Religion, such as The Atonement, reflected Psychological truths about Humanity. And do Keep in Mind Girard is an Atheist, but not a Humanist.

Religious Texts like The Bible, which is actually several Works, not One Book, did not come into existence in a Vaccume, and were Written based on Interactions with The Real World and contain peoples Reflections of it. Dismissing it as Irrational Nonsense by Primitive Savages that didn’t Know how the World Worked or disparaging them as Bronze Ages Goat herders doesn’t prove they were Wrong or that their Ideas were Worthless either.

I Think that Religion should e Understood as Philosophy and Psychology, not as some separate Thing with Unique properties, and that We Would be Wise to Include it as a Reference, as We do other Such Things, and debate the Universal principles that Underlie it.

I certainly don’t Think We should allow only the Shallow Humanism, which Ironically was far more the Product of a Vaccum than The Bible, to be the Sole Authority in Our Lives and get to Dictate all of Our Laws and How We should Live.

And by More of a Product of a Vaccume, I do not Mean Humanism was Created wholly in a Vaccume, it was a product of Late 19th and Early 20th Century Philosophy, but it is what is termed Manufactured Philosophy. It was Created y Men in Proverbial Arm Chairs Dreaming of a Utopia based on Idealism, and on Ideals, and as such, while informed by the Observations of The World in some ways, was also largely informed more by the effort to make that World fit into a Plan for a Better Future rooted in an Abstract Concept of How Humanity was, as opposed to Lived and Practical Experience and Tangible Effect.

Which is Why I Find Modern Atheistic talk so Unintelligent. For all its Talk of Reason, it can’t escape its own Biases and Only Works as a sort of Internal Dream.

Or a Delusion, if You Will.

Dave
Reply to  Linh
9 years ago

I supposed you would prefer “militant atheists’ behave like militant Christians like Eric Rudolph, Timothy McVey, and Michael F. Griffin, not to mention all the militant Christians in North Ireland, Rwanda, the Balkans, etc.

Remember, militant atheists talk, militant theists rape, torture, and murder.

Reply to  Dave
9 years ago

Except for Pol Pot, Mao and Stalin, who literally killed people for their religion… durp.

E.A. Blair
Reply to  realitycheck
9 years ago

That old chestnut (and it’s a dead horse chestnut at that)? Pol Pot, Mao, et. al., did what they did for political reasons. If religion got in the way of their political ambitions, it got trampled too.

SK Williams
Reply to  E.A. Blair
4 years ago

E. A. Blair, Timothy McVeigh killed for Political Reasons, too, but yiu sill list him for his Religion. The sad irony being, he was actually Agnostic, not a Christian.

By the way Pol Pot and other Communist Leaders killed explicitly to spread Atheism. Lying about that doesn’t make it go away.

skwilliamsss
Reply to  Dave
2 years ago

Timothy McVey was actually an Agnostic, and even had He Been a Christian, the common Use of Him in the Modern Atheist Religion We’re supposed to Pretend is a mere lack of belief in a god is Hypocritical. He did not Blow Up the Federal Building in the name of Jesus, but due to Political Concerns. If being Killed By an Atheist is not the same as Killing in the Name of Atheism, as is so often said, then Why should I Think All Killing done by Any Christian for Any Reason as due to their Religion?

Also, while the common excuse about The Communists is they Killed In the name of Communism, not Atheism is the Standard view nowadays for People such as Yourself, the Fact is, The Communists did and Continue to Kill specifically to Promote Atheism. While this is not the Only Reason Communists have ever Killed for, it is hard to look at Soviet Anti-Religion Campaigns which had the Stated Goal of Eradicating Religion and promoting Atheism as not Motivated by Atheism or buying into the excuse of seeing Religion as a Rival for The State.

Especially since Communist’s were not supposed to Care about The State as it was a Temporary Apparatus.

We also have Atheist’s who Kill Christians based on Modern Atheist Commentators, such as Church Shooters wo are fans of Dawkins or The Friendly Atheist.

The Truth is, Militant Atheists Rape, Torture, and Murder.

Look at Michael Shermer, or Lawrence Krauss, or Look at Deven Kelley, who Liked The Friendly Atheist and Dawkins God Delusion, and killed 26 Churchgoers in a Baptist Church in Texas.

I Know We are not supposed to Remember that and it only Counts if “The Religious” do it, but it becomes obvious that this is Polemic when we are told to ignore such things.

Denying the Motivation Was Atheism is absurd.

Of course You Will, but then again, the Excuses will exempt any example listed Here from Theism as well. If You Argue that Atheism is a mere lack of belief and they did not Kill simply because they lacked belief, then explain to Me how Michael F. Griffin killed simply out of a belief in a god?

Killing to oppose Abortion is not the same thing as Killing because You believe a god Exists.

If We are to include the Beliefs Theists Hold to in Total, We should not limit Criticism of Atheism to just Atheism.

After all, its not like believing a god exists leads inevitably to opposition to Abortion. There are plenty of Theists who support Abortion Rights. If You invoke Christian opposition to Abortion as a Counter, keep in Mind One can believe in a god and not be Christian. Also Keep in Mind there are Pro-Choice Christians.

Modern Atheism is too Reductive. Trying to Blame all of the Worlds problems on Theism is ridiculous. Pretending Atheists are immune from the flaws of Theistic Thinking is too. Just as shifting it from Theism to Religion is. Religion doesn’t even have a Fixed Definition, though I am sure You will copy and paste that One Dictionary Definition You lot pass off as THE Dictionary Definition to prove Me Wrong ignoring the other 5 in the same Dictionary and all other sources on the topic.

No One ever Acts n the basis of a Singular Belief. Peoples Motivations are Emergent from a Complex Interplay of Ideas, generated by Cultural Standards, Interpretation, Personal Experiences, and Situational Considerations. Pretending Theism in itself leads to Violence’s whilst Atheism does not is just silly nonsense.

Especially since Militant Atheists Rape, Torture, and Murder.

Nick Italia
Reply to  skwilliamsss
1 year ago

There are pro-liffe atheists out there. It is just the more vocal ones happen to do it “out of religious belifs.” I think pro-life atheists are somewhat marginalized by religious people and other atheists

SKWilliams
Reply to  Nick Italia
2 months ago

Please stop saying “Religious People and Atheists” as if Athesst are Not Religious. And No, Christians do Not Margionalise Pro Life Atheists, though Militant Atheists do, Just as They also Margionalise Pro-Abortoon Christians. The Simple Narrative is How the Mere lack of beleif not a Beleif System TM comes into Focus as a Bad Joke.

DrDiarrhea
Reply to  Linh
9 years ago

“Militant?”…not until an atheist takes up arms, forms a militia, or flies a plane into a building.

SK Williams
Reply to  DrDiarrhea
4 years ago

The thing is, Atheists have killed people to spread Atheism…

skwilliamsss
Reply to  DrDiarrhea
2 years ago

The Cult Of Reason in France, Various Mexican Revolutionaries, and all Marxist Communist Nations did do similar actions. And they did Target The Religious for execution. Look up The Soviet Anti-Religion Campaign and Religious Persecutiuion by Communists. No they did nit simply view it as a rival to their own Power, they were dedicsted Atheists and Atheism was a core aspect of the beliefs they held.

As a matter of Fact, as Popular as it is to say Theist’s created the term Militant Atheist as a Slur, the term actually came from The Soviet Union. And was used by the Militant Atheists themselves.

Today in China Christians are taken Prisoner by The Government and tortured unless they give up their Beliefs.

Considering in America, Christians aren’t typically roving the Streets with Assault Rifles to impose their Beliefs, it is also silly to invoke The Crusades and other Religious Wars from Centuries Ago, or to pretend Africa or some other Distant Land proves how Awful Christians are, if You are going to deny other Nations matter when discussing Atheism.

immovableobject
Reply to  Linh
9 years ago

You probably consider anyone who publicly admits that they don’t believe in God to be a “militant atheist”. You are like those who believe that homosexuals should remain in the closet so you won’t even have to admit that there is such a thing.

It is just taken for granted how frequently and blatantly religious people intrude their beliefs into the public sphere, so when an outspoken atheist appears, they are labeled “militant”. How dare they have the nerve to crawl out of their hole to express an opinion!? The outrage!

I have suffered numerous attempts by strangers proselytize, but have never in my life been accosted by an atheist trying to “convert” me. The only time most atheists speak out is when directly confronted by folks with a religious agenda. They just want to live their lives without other peoples’ religion governing their lives and being rubbed in their faces.

skwilliamsss
Reply to  immovableobject
2 years ago

This is self indulgent repetition of a Common Excuse. It is also deplorable given todays Atheists Actually have said We should Treat anyone making a Religious Claim like someone making a Racist Comment, and that Religion should be Ridiculed until people are too ashamed to invoke it. The Modern Atheist Movement is all about Silencing The Religious, especially Christians.

Peter Boggosian Wrote A Manual For Crating Atheists and began The Street Epistemology Movement to Convery people to Atheism, and the only Reason The God Delusion or Sam Harris’s Books exist is to Convert People.

Atheists do evangelise their beleifs, and Pretending they don’t is dishonest.

It is Dishonest to Claim Atheists are only Defending themselves against The Religious who wish to Impose their beliefs as well. After all, it was not an Act of Self Defence for Hector Avalos to run a Campaign to deny Tenure to a Christian Professor whom He disagreed with, it was not an Act of Self Defence for Atheist’s like PZ Myer and Sam Harris to oppose Francis Collins Heading The Human Genome Project because of His Christian Beliefs.

On Facebook, Atheists are notorious for responding to peoples sincere Prayer Requests for Seriously Ill or Injured Family Members or for difficult Situations with comments about how those making the Request are Delusional, their god is a Genocidal Tyrant, and how if God existed they wouldn’t be in these situations to begin with, all with profanity laced insults included.

Is that Self Defence?

E.A. Blair
9 years ago

Subscribing to comments.

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