- CRITTER TALK
Influenza can be Spanish flu or Hong Kong - although I think those two have been wiped out haven’t they? Anyway, influenza as opposed to a common heavy head cold.
Now ‘man flu’ is far worse than ‘woman flu’. In other words we, the chaps, suffer far more from flu than the ladies do. This is not the opinion of what passes for my mind – which, incidentally has now returned from holiday and had a jolly nice time. Comes to something when your mind is having a better time than you are – the above opinion is scientifically and medically proven.
Stanford University held a trial that showed that, due to higher levels of testosterone, men’s immunity to ‘flu like’ viruses was far lower than that of women. Therefore proving that we, the chaps, suffer more in the ‘flu’ stakes.
I know, women will go on about the suffering they endure at child birth and yadda yadda yadda but that really isn’t the point. We, the chaps, can’t really imagine what it is like to give birth and, remembering my wife’s pregnancy, will we be allowed to forget that? No we will not!
So, just for a change, we, the chaps, now have scientific and medical opinion on our side for a change. We suffer more than women from flu like viruses so actually, ladies, we are not being wimps when we retire to our beds demanding nursing care from you, we are suffering far more than you can ever imagine because you have more immunity so now it’s our turn to suffer so ner-ner-ne-ner-ner!
Oh was suffering ever so much fun??
“You did this to me!” screeched the wifey about to give birth to our daughter 24 years ago. “Me? I did it? Wow! I’m good!” I replied.
I’m not entirely sure punching me in the head was entirely called for. Good job I was using the gas and air at the time or it might have hurt. The midwife made me give it back to the wifey. Typical woman. No conception of my suffering as usual. All she had to do was push a bit and it’s all sorted. What about me with my man flu the last few days eh? Now that’s suffering. Science says so!
I will now head for the hills to a location were no woman will ever find me and lay low for a few days. Actually, given my now pleasantly rotund shape, perhaps ‘running for the hills’ is unwise. I’d be caught by the end of my street. Ah! I know.