Republicans Anointed by God to Do His Work
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Throughout history God has called on men and subservient women to do His work. While He could easily do whatever He wants with a wave of His mighty hand, He, like republicans believes in hard work and personal responsibility.
Going back to the time of the Great Flood, God called upon Noah, a respected, righteous small businessman who built boats, to Moses, another righteous man who grew up in privilege but gave it all away to serve God, (We don’t do that anymore because that had been judged ungodly by Rockefeller who said his money was right with God) to the time of Abe Lincoln who freed the slaves even though he trampled on state’s rights in doing so. And remember Honest Abe was a republican.
Now we have all this trouble in the Middle East. Well, it’s always been trouble but it keeps getting worse. The time for Armageddon is here and God has entrusted republicans to speed it along. We were doing well till that kook Jimmy Carter got Egypt and Israel to negotiate a peace deal and we’re still paying for it cause the damn Egyptians are trying to broker peace and cease fires between Israel and Hamas. Fortunately we have Godly men like Dick Cheney and John McCain doing the Godly work of beating the drums for more war. No holier words were ever sung than when Senator McCain channeled the Beach Boys and sang “bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran.” His place in Heaven is secured.
ISIS has given us the excuse we need to run back to Iraq and really start killing in God’s name. Maliki is a buffoon. It’s obvious they can’t govern themselves so we must do it for them no matter the cost since we can blame it on Obama anyway. Simply crowd all the evil doers into the place called Armageddon and nuke em to Hell where they belong. Sadly, according to prophecy once all this happens only 144,000 Jews that were pure were supposed to be saved but it’s a small price to pay for helping God. Not that I’m discounting the lives of the innocent women and children and people who just want to live their lives in peace in Iraq and other middleastern countries but we never cared when we were bombing water and sewer plants and other infrastructure which caused to deaths and sicknesses of thousands of Iraqis so why care now. This is God’s will. We’re only moving things along a bit.
Generations from now great men like Dick Cheney will have statues erected in the Middle East in their honor. Parades will be marched and candy and flowers will be tossed at balloons made in their images. So despite what that fool Megan Kelley told Vice President Cheney about being wrong on everything, history will prove him right given enough time. Just like Reaganomics. It will be fine. Just a few more bombs and tax cuts.
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My moment was I was when I said “here am I Lord. Send me.” And He sent me here. I was really hoping for Hawaii but He works in mysterious ways. The work is hard and the challenges many but MadMike has promised to buy me beer and a pack of Lucky Strikes should I ever get to his part of the world. I will present him with a Bible and Rosary in return.
Lucky Strikes? LOL. Done deal dude 🙂
Non filter. Keeps the mooches from bumming smokes off me.
In these parts I speak for God since I’m the only republican God fearer around here who’s willing to stand tall and say the stuff God told me to say through dreams and signs like clouds that look like stuff.
LOL Joe. I see clouds that look like stuff all the time. Does that make me a believer 🙂
well…i have to say that i have been provoked to action because of something i have dreamed….i’ve admired things i’ve seen in clouds, had my imagination peaked. but i don’t think any of those things have risen to the level of divine guidance.
God calls me to think clearly and act wisely. when i fail, like all the time, He tells it’s okay, i should keep trying.
“he who sets out to prove a negative,” says the wise man, “is on a fool’s errand.”
your errand fulfilled, your “there is no god” statement sounds so very, very much like, “not only is there a god, but i speak for him.”
There is no god which is ironic because there’s also no good sense in the republican party. Emptiness all around. The god myth has driven hatred far too long. End the god myth now.
for me it’s always a big red flag when i start thinking that God is on my side….it’s time to stop and rethink everything. getting God on my side is an exercise in futility. i think i should do well to occasionally find myself on His side, that’s precarious enough!
these republican nutcases aren’t acting in God’s image, they are re-creating Him in their own image. i don’t blame God for free will, i am grateful for it….even as precarious as it is.