My Kylie Is Number One
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Just in case you misread the title it did not say Miley Cyrus, it did indeed say ‘My Kylie!’ I admit it. At the ripe old age of 57 – well I will be by December – I am becoming a ‘dirty old man’. Still, at least I still have the faculties to be a ‘dirty old man.’ I must be thankful for small mercies eh?
Australian pop pipette princess (try saying that after 10 Buds) Kylie Minogue – oft referred to by me as ‘Kylie Monologue’ has been voted as fashion’s ‘most memorable moment’ of the past 20 years.
The skimpy shorts, from her video of 2000, “Spinning Around” beat Liz Hurley’s safety pin dress business from 1994 which had been tipped to win apparently. Personally I have no idea what the hell it is all about and, had Kylie not won, neither would I have cared.
Sarah Jessica (where DID that mole go?) Parker got third place and Spice Girl Geri Halliwell tottered in fourth with her Union Flag dress (for want of a better description).
Kate (let’s get some more cocaine whilst being shagged by Pete Docherty) Moss came fifth in her Wellington boots for some strange reason.
Sixth were the long forgotten girl band ‘All Saints’ with their combat trousers – don’t ask me – and in seventh place were Lady Gaga and Rihanna’s shoulder pads. I presume they were not wearing the same shoulder pads at the same time but who knows?
Alicia Silverstone’s tartan mini-dress in movie ‘Clueless’ came in at eighth place – which is just as well for me as, frankly, I am clueless. Who is she and what, precisely is ‘Clueless’? Well – me, clearly.
Britney (mad as a hatter) Spears came ninth with something to do with denim and Justin Timberlake. No idea myself.
Tenth came Princess Beatrice and her hat at one of the Royal weddings. I am uncertain which Royal wedding but, as I keep typing ‘Royal’ with a capital ‘R’ I have to admit, as a ‘Royalist’ and lover of Britain’s monarchy I suppose I’m pleased they got a look in even if it was a somewhat unattractive Princess (oh you bitch Norman!)
Ultimately I have no idea what so ever what the hell this is all about but if Kylie has won it then I am a happy bunny because Kylie is my ultimate fantasy celebratory.
I have to admit that, in general, her music is pretty poor – well, not to my taste anyway – but I can always forgive the awful music if what I am watching is sexy to the ‘N’th’ degree and Kylie Monologue is exactly that.
I will now, undoubtedly, be accused of being a sexist pervert but do I care? Absolutely not!
My Kylie won something. Exactly what she won I’ve only a vague idea at best but no matter, she won it.
Sorry Kylie, crap music but – BUT! – What a pare of shorts!!!!!
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Can’t fault you there, Normie- I’d bang Kylie Minogue, myself!
Princess Beatrice wore that terrible, awful hat monstrosity at Prince William’s wedding. It was all over the fashion pages here I’m guessing as a do not try this at home hat. It was one of the ugliest things ever, looked like a toilet seat with tentacles and that is me being kind.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1382443/Royal-wedding-2011-Princess-Beatrice-Eugenies-outlandish-outfits.html
Oh bother! That last should be paring knife, not oaring knife. Pardon my blind old eyes and clumsy fingers.
Now blind old eyes and clumsy fingers I can identify with!
try this one? No pants just soooooo sexy!!!
Norman dear, do not fret so. I am quite confident that you achieved “dirty old man” status quite some time ago!
Just so you know the embedded video bears he tag “Not available in your country” (my country being the U.S.) so many of us have no idea what you are going on about.
Oh but do understand that you are still one of our favorite (favourite?) sexist perverts. Do try to keep tour oaring knife away from the girl’s pair of shorts though – whatever that is about.
Huggs