Does A Talking Horse Teach Horse Sense?
Read Time:4 Minute, 40 Second
Talking animals have always been something of a delight to children of all ages and I include children in their 50’s like me. Reepicheep the talking mouse from the C.S. Lewis Narnia books has always been a favourite of mine. The moles of the magnificent ‘Duncton Wood’ trilogy by William Horwood were glorious as were the talking rabbits of Richard Adams ‘Watership Down’. Other books about animals who could talk – if only to each other – that are always worth a read include ‘Hunters Moon’ by Gary Kilworth (‘The Foxes of Firstdark’ in the USA), Orwell’s ‘Animal farm’ (albeit a considerably darker example), ‘The Wind In The Willows’, ‘The Jungle Book’ and, another particular favourite of my never ending childhood, Norton Juster’s ‘The Phantom Tollbooth’.
A number of the aforementioned have been turned into animated films – some with greater success than others – and, as a result, the rabbits of Watership Down and Reepicheep the talking mouse have become firm favourites of children even if they haven’t read the books.
I think many of us have often wished our animals could communicate with us or, more accurately, we could communicate with them better than we can. if they could only talk to us or if we could only have a Doctor Doolittle ability to converse with them.
I wonder what they would say to us?
Cat : ‘Feed me now you moron!’
Dog : ‘Walk me now!’
Cow : ‘I like grass’
It is just possible that, if we could really talk to animals and they could talk to us the conversations wouldn’t necessarily be entirely scintillating. Should it be the case that animals could converse with us with great intelligence we wouldn’t necessarily like what they had to say.
Cat : ‘So human? How many screw ups today then pal?’
Dog : ‘Man’s best friend? Me? Don’t make me laugh! You’re all bloody stupid!’
Cow : ‘I like grass more than I like you idiots!’
Animals almost invariably ‘pull at the heart strings’ don’t they? Odd really. We can shed a tear when Hazel dies at the end of Watership Down but then go and have a meal that includes rabbit. We can say ‘Awww! Aren’t they cute?’ at lambs gamboling around in a field shortly before ordering roast lamb for our dinner. We can enjoy a cat purring quietly on our laps then scream in horror moments later when said cat decides to decapitate that sweet little Robin that we’d been feeding in the garden.
We have a slightly strange relationship with animals really don’t we? We can love them shortly before eating them. We can care for them before slaughtering them for the table. We can have a lifelong friendship with them – well, at least the ones we don’t eat anyway.
It also depends where you go in the world as well regarding the relationship between human and animal. Koreans seem quite happy to eat dog meat which appalls us. The Cantonese will seemingly eat anything that flies apart from aeroplanes, anything that swims apart from submarines and anything that has four legs apart from a chair.
The French are often partial to horse meat, in Japan you can have fish dishes that are chopped up on your plate whilst the fish is still breathing – I kid you not! In China there is a dish called Drunken Shrimp which is a dish of live shrimp served in alcohol and you have to catch the shrimp as they try to escape and eat them.
I know shrimp isn’t quite on the scale of horse but I doubt the shrimp, drunk or otherwise, is particularly delighted at it’s bizarre fate.
I did once meet a talking animal – a bird. It was a Mynah bird. On a school surfing holiday in Cornwall back in about ’72. The bird sat on a perch at the entrance to a shop and said “Hello” when ever you walked in. I spent more time with the bird than I did surfing through the week the school was there. I was determined to expand its vocabulary.
On the last day it appeared I had failed miserably as, on entering the shop with the other students and two teachers it merely said “Hello” as always. The teachers, who knew I’d been trying to teach it a broader vocabulary, suggested I’d wasted my time and should have learnt how to surf instead.
As we left the shop the Mynah bird said “Fuck off!” quite clearly and lucidly.
I had succeeded!
The teachers chased me back to our coach to give me a clip around the ear for my cheek – it was well worth it!
Have any of you dear readers ever wished you could communicate and converse with animals? Did you wish that as children or do you still wish it? There’s absolutely no shame in still wishing it you know.
Speaking of talking horses, an abbreviation of ‘editor’ is, of course, ‘ed’. Now Mr Ed was a famous talking horse with his own TV show whilst our ‘Ed’ is a chap called Mike – or is he?
I have no idea what happened to Mr Ed after his TV show finished.
Could it be? Really? MMA is owned by a talking horse? All this time we’ve been communicating with a talking horse? Is MMA really ‘horse sense’ brought to life?
Nay! Surely not! – or should I say neigh? 😉
Right Mike. Saddle up! I won’t wear my spurs – honestly 😉
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Not really but sometimes horse’s asses show themselves to be who they are.
Why do I think I know what you’re going to say 🙂
,,,,,, No, this one is too easy….
Not to worry, I did it for you 🙂
…and of course it had to be you 🙂