- CRITTER TALK
Of course, a missing Jesus begs the question: why do we have to find Him anyway? Is he lost? Is he hiding in the grass perhaps? Too busy with Christian Mingle to say “hey” to the rest of us? I suppose if he is that would mean fewer people can be “saved” and heaven won’t fill up anytime soon. After all overpopulation sucks no matter where you are.
Let’s assume Jesus decides to come out of hiding, does that mean we are “saved” and what’s up with that anyway? I watched an interview not long ago of a 7-year old “preacher” and the host of the show asked him about being “saved?” According to this little Jesus Jumper a person would never go to heaven unless they “find” Jesus and then “embrace him.” If one doesn’t do these things one can never enjoy the warmth of bathing in Jesus’ “light,” [whatever that means]. Did he swallow a five-cell perhaps?
Anyway the host had the temerity to ask tiny Bible Banger if a person who did good things all his or her life but was never “saved” would that person go to “heaven?” The Little Jumper wasted no time in saying “NO,” because they had to be saved. The next question spoke to a serial killer who had been “saved.” Again the Junior Jesus wasted no time in answering “YES,” because he had been saved and was now sitting at the right hand of Jesus’ dad.
So, that means, in the eyes of the faithful, those who find Jesus and then give him a big hug, are apparently superior to those who do not, serial killers notwithstanding. The question remains as to how one goes about finding a hiding Jesus? The evangelicals will tell you that in order to find Jesus you have to start going to church and talking to those who managed to find his hiding place and give him a big old smack on the holy lips. The learning process, of course, is helped by a large donation which goes to the poor, right after the new mega-church is built.
I felt sorry for this poor little boy as you could see the confusion in his eyes as his preacher daddy, holding a bible, was nodding wisely and watching his son like a true guardian of the Lord. I also couldn’t help wondering why this highly rated show would consider a guest with so little substance.
The fact remains the Christian crazies are indoctrinating their children and turning them into fanatics. The very idea of some mythical sky king who rules the universe and sees into the hearts and souls of all his people (animals are exempt as they have no soul) is about as intellectually compelling as a belief in Santa Claus.
One more thing: The terrorists of Islam are murdering innocent people all over the world. Why is Jesus still hiding? Oh. I know. It’s His will. I’m so glad to be an Atheist. Hide and seek was never really my game. How about you?
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