Study: If Zombies Attack Major Cities Would be ‘Toast’ Within Days
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What would you do if a zombie outbreak, real zombies not Westboro Baptists, were to strike US shores? For a start East Coasters should head west right away. That recommendation, of course, would be common sense, but it comes by way of Cornell University researchers.
The Cornell geeks have modeled the statistical mechanics of, dare I say it, ZOMBIES and will present their findings at a meeting of the American Physical Society on March 5 in San Antonio.
The researchers used a number of techniques that are used when modeling real diseases, and the abstract ends with this dismal line: “We build up to a full scale simulation of an outbreak in the United States, and discover that for ‘realistic’ parameters, we are largely doomed.”
The scientific journal, Phys.Org, relays a glimmer of hope by way of Alex Alemi, a grad student involved in the research: He says those who want to remain safe from the undead for as long as they can should head to the northern Rockies. Pack the car mother!!
Alemi explains that while books and movies typically show an outbreak touching all corners of the country immediately, “in our attempt to model zombies somewhat realistically, it doesn’t seem like this is how it would actually go down.”
It’s true that major cities could be toast within days, but less populated areas could be unaffected for weeks, and the northern Mountain Time Zone could be safe for months. “Given the dynamics of the disease, once the zombies invade more sparsely populated areas, the whole outbreak slows down—there are fewer humans to bite, so you start creating zombies at a slower rate,” says Alemi. “I’d love to see a fictional account where most of New York City falls in a day, but upstate New York has a month or so to prepare.”
Here are some more tips on surviving the zombie apocalypse, which is just as likely as the Jesus apocalypse.
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I’m suspicious that one of my driving students may be a zombie. He certainly looks the part!
Still, as long as he doesn’t try to bite me……
Is this really serious research????
Oh dear…
How many resources were devoted to this nonsense that could have been used on genuine problems?
The might have been used as effectively on the second coming of Christ. At least there are plenty of people that would believe that was a good use of resources.