Why Older Men Confused When it Comes To Men vs Women

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Don’t you think it’s strange really? You know, that ‘battle of the sexes’ thing? What’s it all about then? Really. What IS it all about? Now I am fully aware that in the 21st Century there are women doing the same work as men but being paid less than men and, clearly, unless you are completely demented, you know that that is so so wrong don’t you? Yes, of course you do and, equally clearly, we have to continue to fight against such clear injustices.

Women-vs-Men

However, I’m not talking about ‘glass ceilings for women’ and so forth, albeit I certainly agree they exist and should be torn down. I’m talking about more basic things. More immediate things like ‘who washes the socks’ and things like that. (I know, I’m in trouble before I even breathe again aren’t I?)

The thing is, us chaps of a certain age are still trying to catch up really. We hear about women getting less pay than men for the same work and we think ‘that’s wrong’ and we support all efforts to stop such discrimination and we mean it. We really, really mean it.

But then, somebody starts on about ‘women in the home’ and such like and we start to get slightly puzzled and, frankly, discombobulated. (That is a word by the way and I just Googled it to be sure)

You see we men used to have ‘a role’ and, by the same token, women had ‘a role’ and now every things gone tits up, in a manner of speaking.

My wife used to earn much more money than me – and it didn’t bother me. My daughter is well on the way to earning much more money than me and that doesn’t bother me either – after all I always said to her that she had to earn enough money to keep her father in the manner to which he would like to become accustomed.

The thing is men of my age – or a reasonable number of us – felt comfortable in ‘our role’ and comfortable in a ‘woman’s role’. Now I’m not for one moment suggesting that we should ever return to the ‘men as the breadwinner’ and the ‘woman as the home maker’ business as that would be just stupid. Besides, if that had been the case in my marriage then we would have been bankrupt for starters.

I am a massive supporter of women being empowered and women being ‘top dogs’ in what ever their industry. I love it!

The problem is whilst ‘feminists’ and so forth (and I count myself as a feminist in terms of women deserve equal everything) succeeded to a large degree – and the battle ain’t won yet eh ladies? – nobody stopped to think that men would have to adapt to a different world.

Older men, such as me, often find ourselves unsure precisely what our role is any more.

We happily accept that women are equal – and, if you ask me, often better – than men but where does that leave us?

Confused that’s where.

It’s all fine and dandy to progress and improve the lot of women and, apart from Neanderthal chauvinists, there are few who would object to the improvements in the ‘woman’s lot’ in life but, if you change something you have to ensure that the ‘change’ is workable for all and, frankly, where does it all leave us older men?

We don’t know.

We support – well most of us do – the improvement in equality for women and we support the continued fight (whilst wondering why, in the 21st Century, the fight should still be continuing) to ensure women’s equality continues and, in certain areas, actually happens to begin with but – where are we in the scheme of things?

Buggered if I know.

Still. Crack on oh daughter of mine and earn mega bucks so your father can live in the manner he would like too.

My kind of equality 😉

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.
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