Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Donald Trump
Read Time:4 Minute, 34 Second
After careful and cautious consideration I have decided to pull my support for Rick Santorum and go all in for Donald Trump. Like it or not, I fully believe the only thing keeping The Donald from getting the republican presidential nomination is whether or not he really wants it.
The Donald is a master of telling people that can do him things for him whatever shit they want to hear. The republican base is mostly made up of kooks and bigots and religious zealots who have no desire than to think beyond 5-word or less talking points addressed at whatever crap they think.
Donald has already sealed the deal with the bigots because of his statements about illegal immigrants being rapists and murderers. Soon we will see videos of him attending church services somewhere and the religious zealots will see the light and love him. Despite the bankruptcies of so many of his business endeavors the personal responsibility crowd loves him because of his beating to death the false meme about being a successful self-made man.
The entire republican field is scared of what The Donald may say next. Republican politics is about attack and nobody attacks better than Donald Trump. Attacks on him only provoke worse attacks on his attackers, and The Donald has the ability to throw the second stone and hit its mark. Not many people can do that. Donald understands explanations and setting the record straight are meaningless tactics in this age. You attack him it’s because you hate success and America but love murderers and rapists.
The military will love The Donald. He’s vowed to make the military so strong no other nation would dare mess with the U.S.A. Although we spend more on the military than the next 6 nations combined, we must spend more since other nations still mess about with us. Defense hawks only care that The Donald just told them what they wanted to hear.
Hillary Clinton is trying hard to tell the Democratic base what they want to hear about income inequality and stuff Bernie Sanders is making her address. But it won’t work outside people who think beyond the next place they’re going out to eat because it requires thoughtfulness and intellectual work. The Donald overcomes all the need for deep thought with two words “you’re fired.”
An interesting observation is The Donald, like the people he’s courting for the nomination, only want to hear the crap he wants to hear as well. I’ve only seen a few minutes of Celebrity Apprentice but what I’ve seen is precisely that. His right hand lady, forgot her name, chews out an apprentice and says CEO’s want this or that, as if they all want the same thing in the same way. What she’s really saying is “this is Donald’s way and I’ve figured out how to give it to him so he likes me and I have a high paying job telling him the crap he wants to hear.”
With that in mind I’d like to let The Donald know I’m available as a consultant and will gladly tell him whatever crap he wants to hear although I might be easy but I ain’t cheap. Bring your checkbook, but not one of the checkbooks from one of your bankrupt casinos please. Bankruptcies that were no doubt good business decisions that made America stronger, created jobs, and weakened our enemies as well.
Jeb Bush is going to spend millions of dollars to get people that will vote republican and will vote for him over the everyone else. He’s got to convince them that he’s as looney as Ted Cruz and Rand Paul, or fresh as the pitifully inadequate Marco Rubio, to get them on his side. In the end his only argument will be that he’s electable and they’re not.
The Donald doesn’t have to worry about that. Jeb will convince republican primary voters of the unelectability of everyone but Donald. They will vote for Donald over Jeb in the primary because Donald will appeal to their love of outsiders even though so many term limit loving republicans have been in Congress for decades. We republicans don’t recognize hypocrisy amongst ourselves. One of Reagan’s unwritten rules. Remember this tip Donald: the rest of them won’t be free.
Rarely is an election won because a candidate made voters feel good. Mostly republican presidential nominations are won based on who’s turn it is to win. Although it may be Jeb Bush’s turn, should The Donald decide he really wants it, then he will cut in line and it will be his turn.
Illinois governor Bruce Rauner proved an election could be bought buy a super rich guy. It’s Donald’s turn, however, to do it on the national level and I want to be a part of it. The fact the liberal bastion of socialism depravity, The Huffington Post, has just declared it’s relegating Mr. Trump to the Entertainment Section. This only makes The Donald stronger in the eyes of America loving FoxNews. Make no mistake, 2016 will be the year of The Donald and I want to be a part of it, regardless of what he says about John McCain.
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Loved that movie and love this little bit of satire. Nicely done indeed.
We aim to please Tony
Joe this is great. Love the headline, pictures, story..whole package. Couldn’t stop laughing. Thanks.
More than welcome Miles.
Joe even you, a diehard republican, could never bring himself to support Trump.
The final kicker for Trump supporting was that Santorum was even more boring than me. In the end though us republicans will vote for whomever the nominee is. We’d vote for Hitler rather than a Democrat if Hitler had an R by his name.
Kudos to jess for the observation. Another thing I like about Donald is how he’s giving these jive turkey republicans a taste of our own medicine. It doesn’t apply to this republican(me) as hypocrisy doesn’t apply to me. Just like Nixon if I do it that makes it righteous.
Joe I have said it before but I have to say it again: you’re getting better with age. Great article. I couldn’t stop laughing.
It’s like really good performance art what tRump is doing. I was thinking after looking elsewhere last night about something some of us may have forgotten. GoOpers are all pissed off at him slandering Old Walnuts but where were those people when Saxby Chambliss was going after Max Cleland, or when at the goOper revival when commander cuckoo bananas was running against John Kerry and they were slandering him about his service in Vietnam, going as far as wearing purple band aids to say he didn’t deserve the purple heart medals he got. I have zero love for old walnuts like I said yesterday but this was a low blow even if it is the height of hypocrisy from them.
You know Jess you are exactly right. Not one Republicant said a word about Saxby Chambliss. Freaking hypocrites one and all! Good piece of work Joe.
Lol! This is great Joe. I gotta tell you man that after the McCain comment (nice how you worked that in) I have to say The Donald is The Dick, rivaled only by that Ann Coulter c*nt!