Trumping His Way To The White House

Not being what you might describe as an aficionado of American politics – British politics bores the pants off me so why the hell would I be overly interested in anyone elses? – I have to admit to a certain admiration for the extraordinarily strange haircut that is Donald Trump. It is quite possible that there is more to the man than his haircut but I cannot see that anything he might say or do could sufficiently distract me from his head. It is, in a word, odd.

Now, should America decide to elect Trump not only will they have elected a President with a ludicrous thatch on his head but they will have elected a man with a surname which, in Britain, is a polite word for a fart or, for those of a more gentle demeanour, a passing of wind.

I watched his performance on Channel 4 News tonight with something approaching awe.

Not only did he say that he intended to build a very large wall in southern America to stop Mexicans coming into the USA he actually said it with a straight face suggesting that he actually meant it.

Now, I have to admit, any politician who actually ever says anything that he or she really means is, in my view, a rarity but for a politician to say something and mean it when it is clearly so obviously insane is a pure joy.

The idea that you could end up with a President Passing of Wind is slightly alarming really as, if he would be prepared to build a brick wall on the borders with Mexico then God (or the deity of your choice) knows what else the lunatic would do so, given that as President Fart he would have access to the ‘button’ that destroys the planet it would, perhaps, be advisable not to elect him.

However. Mr D. Trump esquire is clearly speaking what passes for his mind and that, I personally think, makes him very dangerous indeed.

The very fact that he is, apparently, trumping every other candidate – I know, that is a quite awful pun and I do apologise – suggests he will indeed be a potential President.

His supporters, or at least those I saw on Channel 4 News, seemed to idolise him. This was particularly alarming as how can you idolise a man with such a silly haircut? How can that be possible? Well, I accept that people with funny haircuts have been idolised before. Adolph Hitler springs eternally to mind in that context but surely humanity have moved on by the 21st Century to realise that men – or indeed women – with silly haircuts are not to be allowed out of the asylum?

Obviously not it seems.

So, America? What have you in store for the amusement and alarm of the sane world next? Is the man worth billions but still can’t afford a decent hairdresser really going to be a Presidential candidate?

Really?

Really really?

Has America reached the stage when it no longer cares that it would become the laughing stock of everywhere else?

President Fart with the dodgy barnet? (Barnet Fair is Cockney rhyming slang for hair so you don’t have to Google)

By the way, what happened to that strange Ivana creature he was married to? Mad as a hatter there too eh?

“My fellow Americans, after building a brick wall to keep out those awful criminals from Mexico I will now demonstrate what happens when everyone laughs at my hair and press this red button”

And the world ends with and by a very loud fart.

Donald the President packed his trunk and said goodbye to the circus, off he went with a trumpety trump, trump, trump trump.

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