- CRITTER TALK
Take Donald Trump, always struggling to be first in line, he’s thrown the first pitch of the annual War on Christmas season this year by preaching against the Starbucks Christmas coffee cup, which is now simply red and without the type of commercial Northern Winter and Sears Roebuck iconography some religious Christians despise. I’m surprised actually to find Starbucks turning out something that close to tasteful and without a pseudo-European name, but the Donald assumes he can take that simple red cup and work you into a lather of religious outrage by explaining it all the Fox way. It’s War on Christmas time once again and pretending that anyone ever told you not to say Merry Christmas is the lie behind the tyrannical agenda of legally requiring you to be not only a Christian but an ignorant, paranoid and militant one.
It takes a certain kind of malignant mendacity to insist that Starbucks Hates Jesus and a certain kind of unbalanced mind to believe it, but believers gotta believe, don’t they — and we’re a nation of outrage addicts, not too particular about veracity. But Christmas in America wouldn’t be Christmas at all without the imaginary war on it and Donald Trump wouldn’t be the ruthless sociopath without the contorted, contradictory lies that make up his campaign. I won’t give him credit for inventing it. Actually pious Christians invented antipathy to Christmas a long ago and Christmas has been banned periodically by Christian leadership, both here and abroad. There’s nothing new under the sun or under the comically bad hairdo for that matter.
Americans and American business have been in love with the holiday for a century or more and in fact much of our Christmas iconography and tradition has been authored by big corporations to sell product. That bothers the “put Christ Back in Christmas” crowd no end. But drink your $20 Frappomachiadohalfcaffventi in a plain cup or a Merry Christmas Santa cup and you’ll piss someone off, whether they think Jesus the Barrista or Jesus the Christ is being disrespected. Trump is playing both sides and playing against anything that resembles freedom of anything. Hardly anyone is buying his Crappuchino of course, red cup or otherwise, but Trump is not afraid to work the bottom of the barrel or any other deep, dark and fetid place, and the media are not hesitant to give it all the publicity it can.
In our America religion and patriotism are one and the same refuge of more than one scoundrel and no Republican Patriot would dare give himself that flag-kissing title without bufoonicating about Jesus the conservative billionaire and his ever present “liberal” enemies. It’s expected. Patriotism entails positing a mythical past greatness that needs to be returned to. A past which entails a return to military swagger, Religious authority, isolationism, xenophobia, repression, racism and a forced ethnic “purity” which means a Christians First Nation and Christian rule and Biblical Law and above all, a Snowman on your paper coffee cup. That, in fact seems to be the only consistent theme among any likely GOP candidate in recent years. A foolish consistency you might say, as it requires you to hate the commercialism of Christmas and the non-commercialism of Christmas equally. It’s a sacred holiday, but don’t call it a holiday, and if you go through a minute without saying Merry Christmas from September through New Years eve, you hate Jesus.
Trump threatens not to renew Starbucks’ Trump Tower lease – (just now after how many years?) He suggests we boycott them and promises that if he’s elected we’ll all be saying Merry Christmas. That’s a sure thing of course because we are doing that already and have been for as long as I can remember. Christmas is the most celebrated holiday in the US and a large part of our economy depends on us continuing to do so. How can we not notice that the Donald has no commitment to freedom of worship or of speech? In what bizarre world is this patriotic? The USA of course.
Atheists say Merry Christmas, Jews and Muslims say Merry Christmas and I say Merry Christmas in full knowledge of it’s pagan origins, all external to the Christian canon. I think that peace and compassion and good will are better symbols, even in a hypocritical world than animals with light-up noses and trees from the Boreal forests. Acknowledging the dignity of the poor, showing affection toward children – these make it worthwhile to me. They have nothing to do with Trump or the politics of hate, fear and arrogance he preaches.
Yes, you greedy old grinch, I’ll be saying Merry Christmas on December 25th, but not to you or because of you, pissing on the people who follow other religions and those who really love Christmas for their own reasons and acknowledge it in their own way: the kids, the grandparents and the people who like pretentious coffee in plain cups. Pissing on those who preach year round goodness for goodness’ sake. If there’s anything good about the religion you pretend to, you’re stepping on it. If there were laws against hate speech, you’d be spending the holiday in jail and if there really is a hell with punishment for sin, we’ll all be drinking eggnog while you lie howling.Click here for reuse options!