Make War Not Peace

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We are very odd aren’t we? Humanity I mean. We are a very odd lot indeed. When there isn’t anything of any importance going on and everything is peaceful and calm we kick off. We always do. When all is peaceful and calm animals go about being animals exactly as they always have. Admittedly it isn’t exactly peaceful for the gazelle when it gets caught by the lion and eaten – well, it’s peaceful enough for it once it’s dead but the bit before was a bit noisy I imagine. The thing is, that is just nature making a bit of noise. It’s sort of natural.

For some unfathomable reason when ever humanity arrive at a nice bit of peace and quiet off we jolly well go again. It’s almost as though we get bored within minutes of peace breaking out isn’t it?

If it isn’t terrorists it’s some civil war or some upheaval somewhere or other or some demonstration about something that turns violent. We just can’t help ourselves can we?

I mean to say. Can you just imagine the news if humanity behaved like animals?

“Here is the news this evening. Not a lot happened really.”

Well, that would put SKY News on the ropes straight away.

It’s not as though we go around chasing Gazelles or something and biting their windpipes before eating them raw – now THAT would make the news if someone did that eh? The thing is, we just can#t seem to help ourselves either individually or collectively and especially collectively.

Individually there are lots of people who wouldn’t start a war or even a small fisticuffs in the local bar so, individually, there is a degree of hope.

Collectively we are a bloody nightmare.

I won’t go further back than WWI – I feel old enough as it is. Of course, I wasn’t around then but, in a nutshell, someone shot some German chap somewhere so the world dissolved into mayhem and killing and slaughter. It didn’t take much did it? Just shoot some German bloke and off we went into insane global carnage.

WWII? Some crazy German (it’s always the bloody Germans isn’t it?) grew a silly moustache, massacred loads of Jews and off the world went again – well, quite rightly really, we could hardly let him get away with it I admit. It’s just that we seemed to embrace the idea of going to war so much.

Korea? What was all that about then? Probably communism more than likely. We don’t like communism so let’s have a war about it.

Vietnam? That was definitely communism. Oh! Let’s have another war then.

Mind you, since Hiroshima and Nagasaki we haven’t had any World Wars. We can’t really can we? It’s almost as though the advent of the Atomic Bomb caused humanity to sulk when it realised it couldn’t have any BIG wars any more. The solution humanity came up with was to have little wars instead. Local wars or, if you will, warettes.

The Gulf War, The Falklands War, The Balkans War. All wars but localised. They didn’t really satisfy humanities desire for war but, given the nuclear concerns of anything greater what could we do?

The thing is, humanity seems to get along a whole lot better when we are at war with someone than when we are at peace.

The world is never more united than when we gang up on the loonies and kick the crap out of them. America are talking to Russia who are talking to Britain who are talking to France who are talking to Germany and so forth. We are all getting along fine because we have the latest loonies to have a war with – Islamic State.

The only problem will occur once Islamic State are beaten. Then, unless some other nutters have emerged, we won’t have anyone to go to war with and there will be peace.

That is a worry.

When ever there has been peace everyone falls out with everyone else until we end up deciding who to agree with then we gang together and declare war on whoever got left behind in the negotiation or, possibly, whoever became that moments loony.

So, whilst the Lions sleep tonight, waking occasionally to kill and eat a Gazelle causing hardly a ripple on the pond of world peace, and the Giraffes eat leaves and the dogs sniff each others asses and the cats wash their bits and the cows chew the cud and the birds fly silently overhead and the fish swim quietly in the sea – meanwhile,

Humanity wages war on the bits of humanity who are clearly loony until we beat them.

Then we sit silently and sulkily until the next loonies come along. Then we can start getting along again because we can carry on doing what we are best at.

Destruction.

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.

fourdinners14223647@aol.com