Waking Up the Pathetic Marco Rubio

It saddens me to break Ronald Reagan’s commandment to never speak ill of another republican but circumstances force this intervention.

The circumstance of course is the truly pathetic embarrassment to the republican party that is Marco Rubio. Poor Marco has never had an original thought in his life. Neither has either Bush brother so that really doesn’t matter to us. What does matter is how well whomever we republicans allow a big forum repeats the republican stuff we’ve pounded into the minds of America for generations. Marco sucks at it.  

Perhaps Marco’s biggest crime though is thinking he could be president because his public track resembles President Obama’s. A truly stupid thing to bring up for a republican that wants to be president.  His other crime of course were being on a committee that offered an immigration plan.  Then he disavows it. A double crime when viewed from a republican historical perspective. We’ve pitched Reaganomics over 40 years and it still hasn’t trickled any wealth down but we stand by it anyway because we don’t admit mistakes. We just demand more time for our stuff to work and to obstruct stuff Democrats want.

Marco thinks if Ted Cruz leaves the race he will pick up his supporters. Sadly for Marco he won’t. The ones that don’t go to Trump because he’s angry and kooky will most likely stay home and clean their guns and demand government stay out of their lives and keep its hands off their Social Security.  

Marco’s naivety and youthful inexperience, or as I as a good republican describe as sheer ignorance, show when he comments about establishment minded republicans supporting him.  That’s what Jeb thought you moron.  And 130 million dollars later of establishment money he’s gone.   The key for Marco would have been to take the money and run as the antiestablishment youth candidate.  We in the know understand he would be an obedient corporate shill but our base voters of kooks and religious zealots eat that Jesus and gun stuff up.  

Another thing Marco sucks at is looking American republican like Reagan and George W. Bush. They always walked with their chests puffed up and with a swagger.  Reagan had the grandfather look but the way he put his arm around his detractors shoulders and dismissed them with a one liner then went to California and chopped wood, you knew he was a real man.  George W. rolled up his sleeves and ordered invasions and oversaw torturing and went to Texas to chop wood and hunt rattlesnakes.  George always, and still does, carry himself in a way that says screw you. I can kick your ass. Rubio keeps his hair neatly combed and quite frankly is a wienie.  He needs to take a couple days off from campaigning and go alligator hunting in his home state of Florida.  He is too big a wienie to attack any of Trumps kookery. He instead stays on script and attacks Clinton and Sanders.  

This is just as much in praise of Trump as in loathing of Rubio. Marco fears The Donald. His fear is obvious.  His overt aversion to attacking Trump means he’s thinking vice president.  And being a typical businessman perhaps Trump would like an ass kissing yes man as his number two. Marco would be loyal to the Koch Brothers and although Trump has plenty of money you can never have too much.  The more billionaires to pay for elections the better as far as we republicans are concerned.  

In the end, poor pathetic Marco Rubio offers nothing other than obedience to those who pay for republican campaigns.  Nothing else. He can’t even put on a good show of it.  It’s also an indictment of my party establishment leadership that the best they could come up with were Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio.  Maybe this will be a wake up call for them to find capable candidates rather than just obedient ones.

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