Trump To Show Love For Jews By Eating Gefilte Fish

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I am both honored and humbled to have been a major force in helping my good friend Donald Trump win the republican presidential nomination.  Together we showed America all one needs to do is be a republican and say bullshit that bigots and idiots want to hear and give them a wink.  We are one of you America. You’re welcome.

Now my friend Donald is under fire from some deluded folk that think a picture of a billionaire eating a burrito bowl is racist. These people need to stop wasting their lives searching for racism and outrage where there is none and accept that eating ethnic foods is a sign of tolerance and respect for other cultures. This is simply what Mr. Trump was doing. To imply otherwise exposes the impliers as the true racists for hating anything a white billionaire does simply because he’s a white billionaire.  

It ain’t easy being a white man these days you know.  Many has been the time I had to deal with the guilt of a black guy being passed up by a cab driver to pick me up instead.  Imagine the pain and guilt a white billionaire must feel when dealing with all his privilege. Please pray for these poor guys folks.

I am now urging Donald to continue eating ethnic foods to stop charges of bigotry before they start.  Seeing as how Israel is still an important lobbying group for republicans it would be best to remind everyone that a lot of Jews live in New York where Mr. Trump also lives. You can see Jews from Donald’s apartments.  A Twitter post of Donald eating some Jewish food like gefilte fish would be a nice touch.  One would really have to like Jews to eat that stuff. Wearing a yarmulke would be taking it too far though.  Understatement is powerful.

Getting Blacks in Donald’s fold may be a little trickier but a good plan would be to sit down with Larry Wilmore for some soul food. Get him drunk and loose and hope he calls Mr. Trump “my n….a” like he did to President Obama at the correspondents thingy.  (Not a good show Larry. I helped Trump win. Next time call me so I can stop you from saying something really stupid to the President of the United States. I’m here to help.)

There are Chinese buffets and restaurants all over the place. Trump can stop in one anytime and ingratiate himself to the Asians. He can thank them for building the railroad in the 1860’s. He can compliment them on their laundry doings skills and congratulate them on their tiger parenting and getting all their kids into our prestigious universities.  Fortunately the bigots and idiots rarely watch any news outlet that would run a story about Don thanking Asians but they would hear about Don’s railing against Asians taking university spots from Americans.  Helping Don tailor his message to the crowd is what I do.

The woman card is a real winner for Trump. This will give him the election. That’s for another post though. Sorry Hillary.

About Post Author

Joe Hagstrom

Reformed Liberal now dedicated to saving world from Obamacare and Godless Atheists. Using MadMike's America to audition for high paying job with Fox News.
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Nicholas Crane
7 years ago

Ha! Ha! First time visitor and I started laughing just reading the headline. Great job Mr. Joe.

Joe Hagstrom
Reply to  Nicholas Crane
7 years ago

You are a man sound judgment Nicholas

Admin
7 years ago

Joe this is one of your funniest yet. Gefilte fish? LOL! And it wouldn’t surprise me if Donald, after he reads your article, poses for a photo op with it. 🙂

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