Donald Trump’s Orange Haired Tabby Cat Or Why I’m All Trumped Out

I don’t know about you, but November 8^th can’t get here fast enough for me. Not only am I sick to death of listening to Donald Trump, I’m also getting sick of writing about him. I don’t just hate the guy- I absolutely loathe him.

I used to think people like Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, and Ted Cruz were the worst, but all things considered, I’d rather have a full-blown, viagra and cocaine-fuelled, 72-hour sex orgy with those three where I’m handcuffed to the bed and tortured for hours than listen to him anymore. And I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.

Despite my reservations toward giving the tiny-fingered, ferret-wearing, cheeto-faced shitgibbon more free publicity, I must admit that I’ve found his recent attempts to reach out to minority voters amusing. Hillary Clinton is a master panderer, but at least she had the good sense to not alienate them in the first place. Trump, on the other hand, made it a point from the outset to blame the Mexican community for everything that’s wrong in American society. And despite having a ‘great relationship with blacks’ a whopping 91% of the African-American vote will be going to Clinton on Election Day. Even though I doubt the Muslim or gay vote will have a significant impact either way, I think it’s safe to say Trump won’t be getting much of their support, as if he’s going to miss it.

As I said from the moment Trump began his quest for the White House- YOU CAN’T WIN THE ELECTION WITH ONLY THE WHITE VOTE. Not to impugn those of the Caucasian persuasion, but the fact remains, the cracker vote is dying out, and the USA is becoming more of a mixed bag every day. It’s simple math- Let’s say the white vote is split down the middle, and Trump has 100% of that demographic, (which he doesn’t) excluding every single minority he’s alienated, it’s not enough to win the presidency. I’ll throw in 25% of minorities dumb enough to vote for him, and it wouldn’t help. Keep in mind, there are several key factors I’m leaving out, but despite that, it’s still statistically impossible for Trump to win.

Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, is betting on the fact that her candidate will win due to his ‘closet supporters’ but seriously- who is she kidding? People who support Trump don’t bother hiding their love for him. If they did, they wouldn’t be showing up at his rallies in droves. Subtlety is not their style. Believe me, this ‘shadow crowd’ doesn’t exist. Then again, I could be mistaken. Nobody has bothered polling Middle Earth yet.

MAKE THE SHIRE GREAT AGAIN!

Sorry, I guess the Red Bull finally kicked in.

I always knew it was inevitable that Trump would try to backtrack and reach out to Hispanic voters by ‘softening’ his stance on immigration. The only thing is, you can only take it so far before you reach the point of no return, and Trump crossed that line months ago. As any Mexican is apt to tell you, we don’t take shit from ANYBODY. And if we choose to forgive, WE DON’T FORGET.

Seems like Trump has finally seen the light and realized he can’t win this election much like he can’t operate his businesses without Mexicans to do the job. Now he’s coming out and trying to kiss up to us, and it’s not happening. Or as my father would have told him, “How do you like the taste of my d*ck?”

Trump’s advisors are a bunch of idiots. I could have told him his so-called ‘pivot’ was a waste of time, mostly because changing his stance on immigration at this stage of the campaign would amount to cutting his own throat. When your base is filled with racists, bigots, and morons, you can’t rile them up by telling them what they want to hear and then turn around and say, “Just kidding!” Or, to put it in a way Game of Thrones fans would understand- remember what happened to Ramsay Bolton when Sansa Stark threw him in with his dogs? Yeah, THAT.

More than a few of his supporters are beginning to turn on him after he made the announcement he was reconsidering his position on immigration. Lord knows Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter aren’t too pleased with Trump at the moment. Not that I really care. I’m actually pretty giddy about it. Ann Coulter in particular looked like somebody shit in the punch bowl at the release party for her latest book, (and I use the term loosely) IN TRUMP WE TRUST.

Then there was the story where Trump had some of his staffers buy $55,000 worth of his books (that he didn’t actually write). I can only assume the one other book purchased was a copy of ROOTS for Omarosa Manigault, Trump’s ‘director for African-American outreach.’ Seriously, what does Omarosa know about being black? She makes Michael Jackson look positively ghetto!

Am I the only one who laughed my ass off when Trump made an appeal for the black vote this week by asking, “What do you have to lose?” in front of a crowd of nothing but WHITE people, no less? I think he answered his own question. If Richard Pryor were still alive, hearing this story would have killed him for sure. Listen, when some of your support comes from white nationalists who hate every minority INCLUDING black people, it’s kinda hard for them to turn around and say, “I like that Trump honky! He’s a righteous dude!”

Is there one SINGLE group of people that Trump hasn’t talked shit about? Not even his own groupies can say that, for Christ’s sake! He insulted them twice, to their faces- once when he said that he loved the low educated voters, and again, when he said that he could literally shoot someone, get away with it, and not lose any significant support! Come on! How damned dumb are his people?

From day one, I’ve said Trump doesn’t really want to be President and I stand by that. Of course, I had no idea he’d take it as far as he has. As much as I think he wants to drop out, he can’t, not with his ego.

Honestly, I’ve looked at his candidacy from every angle, and I don’t have a clue what he stood to gain from this lunacy. Sometimes I wake up thinking I’m living in an alternate reality where almost everyone I know is huffing paint fumes at dinner instead of eating food.

So, yeah- I’m tired of writing about the cheeto-faced shitgibbon. I’m tired of hearing about his family, his business ‘acumen’, his wife, or his frickin’ orange-haired tabby cat, if he has one.

I can only take solace in the fact that maybe, just maybe, I managed to get through to one person who was on the fence about voting for orange Julius Caesar and changed his or her mind. If I’ve done that, then all of this bullshit was worth it.

Happy

0 0 %

Sad

0 0 %

Excited

0 0 %

Sleepy

0 0 %

Angry

0 0 %

Surprise

0 0 %