Fear & Loathing On the Campaign Trail 2016: Regrets, Mistakes & Gonzo Politics

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Donald Trump's Digs
Donald Trump’s Digs

Donald Trump is expressing regret for some of the things he’s said while campaigning to be President of the United States. There are some people who are praising this as a great pivot, that Trump is apologizing for all the lies, slanders and insults he has spewed forth starting on 16 June 2015, the day he announced his candidacy. The list of people he has insulted, offended and lied about is legion: Mexicans, women, Muslims, the disabled, journalists, all non-whites, Jews and too many more to mention.

He has “joked” about assassinating Hillary Clinton. He appeared to have forgotten the fact that Russia already had invaded Ukraine and annexed Crimea. He has demonstrated either total ignorance of or disregard for the US Constitution in at least two ways: by pledging to end church-state separation and by suggesting that a President Hillary Clinton could unilaterally discard the second amendment*. He doesn’t understand why this country hasn’t used nuclear weapons and has repudiated the Bush administration’s use of torture (and would bring it back).

Others are not too sure.

Hall of Mirrors at Versailles
Hall of Mirrors at Versailles

It is not for nothing that Spy magazine dubbed Trump a “short-fingered vulgarian”. I’m not going to say anything about his anatomy (Trump’s already said more than is necessary on that subject), but the “vulgarian” label is well-deserved. All you have to do is search the internet for pictures of his home, which rival Louis XIV’s Hall of Mirrors in Versailles for sheer vanity, outright vulgarity and downright tackiness. It’s reflected in his hyperbolic statements and overuse of intensives like “amazing”, “incredible” and, of course, “Yuuuge!”. Although he never actually said “bigly”, it’s so much like something he would say with his fourth-grade vocabulary level that he might as well have said it.**

So here is what Trump actually said:

“Sometimes in the heat of debate and speaking on a multitude of issues you don’t choose the right words or you say the wrong thing. I have done that, and I do regret it, particularly where it may have caused personal pain.”

This is what is being touted as either a change of heart or just more of Trump’s usual bullshit.

I call bullshit.

Once again, etymology and the dictionary to the rescue***. Here is the definition of regret:

regret: to wish that a thing had not happened, that something else had happened instead.

Note that the definition of regret includes nothing about remorse or apology. There may be a faint possibility that Donald Trump does feel some remorse for his words, it’s not a very big one. After all, this is someone who has publicly stated that he has no need to ask for forgiveness.

So now that we know the definition of regret, can you use that in a sentence, Mr. Drumpf?

“I regret that some of the things I said made me look like almost as big an asshole as I already am. I regret that they cost me some support. I regret that they have let Crooked Hillary get ahead in polling. I regret that the loser media used my own words against me. I may regret them, but it’ll be a cold day in hell when I apologize for them.”

*Explaining why this could not be done would take a whole ‘nother post, which is in preparation.

**For example, how many people remember that “I can see Russia from my house.” was actually Tina Fey and not Sarah Palin? It’s certainly the sort of thing Palin would have said.

***For the word nerds among us, here is the etymology of regret:

From Middle English regretten, from Old French regreter, regrater (“to lament”), from re- (intensive prefix) + *greter, *grater (“to weep”), from Old Frankish *gr tan (“to weep, mourn, lament”; from Proto-Germanic *gr tan¹ (“to weep”)), and Old Frankish *gr otan (“to cry, weep”), from Proto-Germanic *greutan¹ (“to weep, cry”), from Proto-Indo-European *ghrew- (“to weep, be sad”), equivalent to re- + greet. Cognate with Middle High German gr zan (“to cry”), Old English gr tan (“to weep, greet”), Old English gr otan (“to weep, lament”), Old Norse gráta (“to weep, groan”), Gothic (gretan, “to weep”).

Note that all of these meanings involve weeping, sniveling and crying. The reason Donald Trump is claiming that the election will be rigged, is because when he loses, the only thing he has besides fake indignation is the weeping, sniveling and crying. Maybe he will sing My Way instead of giving a concession speech.

About Post Author

E.A. Blair

E.A. Blair is the 'nom de commenter' of someone who has been a teacher, game designer, programmer, logistic support officer and technical writer at various times in his life. Most of the hits in a search on his real name predate the internet; it appears exactly four times in Wikipedia and six times on IMDb.
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Marsha Woerner
7 years ago

So, regret isn’t “feel bad because you did bad”, but it’s “feel bad because of the results”. Yeah, the way the polls are turning, I expect he has a lot of regret!.
What an a$$hat!

E.A. Blair
7 years ago

Subbing for comments.

7 years ago

Wow. I learned a lot from this. Thanks E.A.

Reply to  Timmy Mahoney
7 years ago

It was a most interesting read, although I must confess some of it went over my head 🙂

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