How the Republican Party Is Eerily Similar To Islam

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Young Muslims protest U.S. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump before being escorted out during a campaign rally in the Kansas Republican Caucus at the Century II Convention and Entertainment Center in Wichita, Kansas on March 5, 2016. Photo courtesy of REUTERS/Dave Kaup *Editors: This photo may only be republished with RNS-MUSLIM-VOTERS, originally transmitted on March 9, 2016.
Young Muslims protest U.S. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump before being escorted out during a campaign rally in the Kansas Republican Caucus at the Century II Convention and Entertainment Center in Wichita, Kansas on March 5, 2016. Photo courtesy of REUTERS/Dave Kaup
*Editors: This photo may only be republished with RNS-MUSLIM-VOTERS, originally transmitted on March 9, 2016.

Apparently there is still some small vestige of my former self as a Democrat because I can’t stop delving deeper into subjects, rather than trusting Dick Cheney, the Koch Brothers, NRA and other republican thought molds to shape and guide me without question.

As a republican my latest foray into self realization scared the hell out of me which is practically impossible since we republicans are automatically saved and going to Heaven through our acceptance of Christ and Ronald Reagan as our Saviors. it was the Ronald Reagan thing that got me thinking.

Around 1,400 years ago the evil religion, Islam, was created. Just like the modern republican party was created with Reagan’s election in 1980. And just like Islam which preaches it is the only religion and others are false, which pretty much all religions preach, the republican party i the only party and all others are false and those that aren’t republicans are heretics.
Islam states there is only one God. Republicans believe the same thing and believe in the same God although we don’t admit it because Allah sounds foreign and evil to us.

The eeriest similarity between Islam and republicanism is our belief in The Prophet. Islam states Mohammed is Allah’s prophet and messenger.

Republicans believe that Ronald Reagan is God’s prophet and messenger. Reagan is our Mohammed.

We both have our factions. Islam has Sunnis and Shias. We have neocons and the tea party.

We both think women’s rights mean the right to a new sponge for the kitchen and women should dress respectably unless encouraged by either an imam or Roger Ailes.

Islam has Ayatolas. We have our version of that. Authorities whose word is unquestioned and by virtue of memorizing the Koran or a Reagan speech are recognized authorities. I was close to being one of these republican ayatolas till my falling out with Donald Trump and lack of obscene wealth disqualified me.
We republicans preach war against anyone that displeases us. Sometime ayatola John McCain was a hero to us when he sang “bomb bomb bomb. Bomb bomb Iran.” Islamic guys are heroes when that call for death to America or Israel.
There’s an uprising now and then but just like Islam, moderate republicans are quickly hushed. Eventually they tow the party line and hate on everyone republicans or Muslims are supposed to hate. That’s why top republicans refuse to unendorse Trump. He does a good job hating on those republicans are duty bound to hate. if they go against Trump they go against the bigots that make up a huge part of the republican congregation and will be ousted from their government jobs. Just like if an ayatollah sad something nice about Israel or America. He’d be out of a job too.

To end I’d like to throw out a Rush Limbaugh Esque kudo to Marco Rubio who called for banning abortions for women infected with the Zika virus. I never had a high opinion of this lightweight who gets far more press than he deserves considering his lightweightness. But demanding women bow to his beliefs is true republislamism at it’s finest. He may well make ayatollah yet.

About Post Author

Joe Hagstrom

Reformed Liberal now dedicated to saving world from Obamacare and Godless Atheists. Using MadMike's America to audition for high paying job with Fox News.
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Bill Formby
7 years ago

Actually Joe, you are right, but I think that Republicans, in general are always looking for supernatural help to clean up the mess they have created. The father of the country, George Washington, and several other members of the Deism beliefs, including Thomas Jefferson, believed that God made the earth and then turned it over to humans to care for, on which we are screwing up on a daily basis. I think their views would be to stop praying to Him for help and start doing something about it which of course they won’t do because they believe that there is a guy in the sky that is keeping up with the life of every one of 7 billion people all at the same time. Yeah, the Republicans and Christians are just Islamic people who speak a different language and wear different clothing. I will say though, the Muslims are more into living their faith than the other two groups.

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