Donald Trump: Adultery and Calling the Kettle Black

Read Time:4 Minute, 12 Second

adulteryWho else saw that sorry excuse for a debate last week? What a complete and utter shit-show. For Donald Trump, at any rate. I think the first thing that stuck out to me straight out of the gate was that Trump didn’t look to be wearing any of his signature spray-tan. I was like, “Did he feel like going au natural, or did John Boehner deplete the supply because he needed a touch-up?”

Not that it mattered. Trump started out as ‘presidential’ as a five year-old ring boy at a wedding- well-mannered and behaved at the beginning of the service, but goes back to spoiled brat mode when he gets a little sugar in him at the reception. Did anybody SERIOUSLY think he was going to able to maintain that posture for an entire ninety minutes? The man has the attention span of a hummingbird on crystal meth. I’m shocked it lasted as long as it did. Trump standing still for that long must have been like trying to get through an entire day with a wedgie terminally lodged between your butt-cheeks, which kinda makes sense being that he’s the human equivalent of a wedgie lodged up the butt-crack of America.

But I digress.

When Trump claimed he lost the debate due to a faulty microphone, I seriously wanted to throttle him. Who the Hell is he kidding, anyway? NOTE TO TRUMP: Microphones only amplify sound- they don’t filter out stupid bullshit. THAT’S YOUR BRAIN’S JOB. Not only that, but if Trump’s microphone was so faulty and cutting him off, then why did it do such a great job of catching his sniffing fits? You’d think he did a line of coke off the ass of a longhaired cat or something.

The thing that rankles me the most, though, is that after the debate, Trump basically congratulated himself for being ‘gentlemanly’ for not bringing up Bill Clinton’s infidelities. And not only that, but all of Trump’s cronies were patting him on the back, too. I was surprised the Cheeto-faced Shitgibbon didn’t collapse a lung, for God’s sake! So let me get this straight- he’s proud of himself for not being a complete douchebag? That’s like an asshole saying, “Well, at least I didn’t act like a total dick!”

Believe me, I would know.

Listen, when you’ve been married three times, cheated twice, ogled underage girls, and desperately want to mount your own daughter, then I think it’s safe to say you’re not qualified to pass judgment on anybody else’s relationship. Dude, you’re not even qualified to be a divorce court judge in the Ozarks!

There was a story in the news not too long ago about some lady who married her own daughter- SHE has a healthier mindset about relationships than Trump does! I mean, when you have to promise your 17-year old daughter not to date anyone younger than her, you’re pretty much a pedophile waiting to happen. I would be shocked, SHOCKED if Trump has never gone to Thailand to have sex with an underage prostitute. Oh, but never mind- he likes to keep it in the family.

Silly me.

When I heard Trump tried to get his second wife, Marla Maples, to appear in Playboy, I figured it was only a matter of time before he got himself a feathered hat, gold grills for his teeth, and a sparkly, purple Cadillac and began his newest business venture- Trump Tramps! Hey, you have to admit, it’s a catchy name. Not to mention that he could have used Trump Tower as a brothel.

I should have a career in marketing. You think?

Say what you want about the Clintons, but at least they’ve managed to make their marriage last. Hell, I used to make of fun of my brother’s marriage, but once they passed the ten-year mark, I stopped. They lasted longer than I did. Gotta respect a couple that can make it work. (Not that it stops me from making fun of them as individuals. I have to draw the line somewhere.)

Cheating in a marriage is deplorable. When you make a commitment to someone, you’re making a promise to build a life with him or her, to stick by them through sickness and in health, and love them until the day you die. If you can’t keep that promise, then you shouldn’t even bother walking up to the altar. I get that a lot of relationships fail, but if you know you’re not going to remain faithful, you shouldn’t even bother.

Making a married couple’s relationship a campaign issue is going below the belt. It’s even worse when your own track record isn’t exactly squeaky clean. Actually, it’s hypocritical. And I don’t suffer hypocrites lightly.

Neither should you. Don’t waste your vote on Trump.

About Post Author

Gregory B. Gonzalez

Gregory B. Gonzalez is an angry black man who isn't actually black. No, really- he told us to say that! His parents once had him tested for Tourette's, but when the doctor came back with his results, he said, "No, he's fine. Your son is just an a**hole!" It's been downhill ever since. He lives like the Unabomber, only without the explosives. Feel free to contact him provided you can actually locate him. Just keep in mind that he'll probably make fun of you to your face. We here at MMA can't stand him, so if you want him, he's all yours!
Happy
Happy
0 %
Sad
Sad
0 %
Excited
Excited
0 %
Sleepy
Sleepy
0 %
Angry
Angry
0 %
Surprise
Surprise
0 %
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of

7 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
7 years ago

Hey there great blog! Does running a blog similar to this require a massive
amount work? I have no understanding of coding but I was hoping to start
my own blog in the near future. Anyhow, if you have any ideas
or tips for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off subject but I just wanted to ask.
Kudos!

7 years ago

It’s extremely hard to imagine that a man like trump, on a lifelong prowl for women, preferably in their twenties, isn’t a contraception champion. But he’s made it through the primaries without being asked, and is almost at the end of a general election campaign, even though he may be carrying an ever-ready Trump Trojan in his pocket for the occasion. Shameful. Can you imagine the overwhelming press response to even a rumor of infidelity on the part of Hillary Clinton?

7 years ago

Very well done. You nailed it.

7 years ago

Powerful especially the last sentence.

Admin
7 years ago

Millions of dollars in taxes avoided equals millions, and millions of dollars in income.

jess
7 years ago

Don’t forget the lawsuit where he allegedly raped a 13 year old girl and also too you betcha, he yakked up vomit about watching the sex tape of Paris Hilton after knowing her since she was 12 years old. This guy makes a creepy pervy uncle look good by comparison.

Glenn R. Geist
7 years ago

Just when I thought there was nothing more to say about Scheissabteilung Schlangenführer Von Drumpf. Keep it up!

Previous post The Clinton and Trump Foundation’s: Two Visions of Sacrifice
Next post Why Russia Is Cracking Down on Religion
7
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x