Donald Trump: The Master of Disaster

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Wow. Just… wow.

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I should probably end this article right now, because that’s all I really need to say. Then again, this is me, so you know I have a Hell of a lot more to say. I don’t think have to expound on the subject, do I? You already know what I’m going to write about, right? Unless, of course, you’re Mike Pence and still denying reality and the fact that Donald Trump is a complete ass. I take it back. Trump isn’t an ass- he’s a serial rapist with Tourette’s syndrome. He doesn’t have impulse control problems. That would imply he was aware of the issue. No, the truth is, he’s such a spoiled, overly entitled piece of shit, he thinks he’s above consequences.

Guess what, Trump- YOU’RE NOT.

Having said that, I’m going to take a slightly different tack, here. You really shouldn’t be surprised by Trump’s comments. You really shouldn’t. Look at all the things he’s said over the course of this campaign, about Mexicans, and Muslims, and veterans, and blacks, and gays. I could fill this entire article with every subset of humanity he’s insulted. Hell, this isn’t even THE FIRST TIME he’s demeaned women. Are you seriously going to tell me this is the straw that FINALLY broke the camel’s back?

Give me a break.

You want to be pissed off at something? How about the fact that it took THIS long to get to where we are now? Spare me the fake outrage at Trump for saying he liked to grab women by the pussy. This is who he’s always been. If you’re barely beginning to realize what a pig he is, then you’ve had your head stuck up your ass for the better part of a year!

The fake outrage pisses me off even more because all of the guys who are condemning Trump for his comments have all done the same damned thing. ‘Locker room talk’ is something most guys do, me included. The difference is, most of the guys I know don’t talk about how we grope women or force ourselves on them. Saying a girl has a great ass or a nice rack is a far cry from admitting you just molested somebody simply because you could. Only a total douchebag would do that.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m not saying you shouldn’t be upset. Hell, I’m upset. I’m upset that Trump’s idiot supporters can’t see him for the shitbag he truly is. I’m upset that they hold him to such a high moral standard when he’s nothing but a sexual predator with a fat wallet. I’m upset that the evangelicals think he’s ‘ordained’ by God to be President! Really? If so, then it’s no wonder I have such a non-existent relationship with Him!

If Mike Pence had hoped to run for president in 2020, I think that ship has sailed. When this scandal broke, Pence said, “As a husband and a father, I was offended by the words and actions described by Donald Trump in the eleven-year old video released yesterday. I do not condone his remarks and cannot defend them.”

Let me explain something to you, “Powder”- Your statement is meaningless, and here’s why: YOU’RE STILL TRUMP’S RUNNING MATE! It would be one thing if you hung the Cheeto-faced Shitgibbon out to dry and ditched his tangerine ass, but you didn’t. So you know what that says to the electorate? It says, not only could you care less about Trump’s comments, by staying, you actually approve of them, you DICK!

Melania Trump was better off not addressing Trump’s comments at all. After her RNC speech debacle, she should have stayed in witness protection, or whatever rock she crawled under. Her, “I’m disgusted with my husband’s words but still love him” bullshit stinks so bad that you need to keep her away from an open flame before she immolates herself. At the rate Donald’s going, he won’t be able to afford his latest trophy wife. At some point, she’s going to say, (in her heavy Eastern European accent,) “I’m leaving you, Donald- there is no amount of money that would make me stay with you!” Next thing you know, she’ll be dating Mark Cuban.

Rancid Penis, whoops- excuse me, Reince Priebus, must be tearing his hair out by the roots as I write this. He’s already pulled all of Trump’s funding for his campaign. But whom is he kidding? The republicans can’t abandon Trump now. There is no way they can dump him and set up a new candidate. Trump’s name is already on the ballot. The only way they could possibly get rid of him is if they sabotaged his plane and jumped out mid-flight while it was going down.

I would be willing to bet money Kellyanne Conway is going to have an on-air meltdown over this. She looks like she’s barely holding on as it is. Well, if anything, she looks like a tweaker to me, but that’s neither here nor there. She’s going to be hammered so relentlessly by the press that by the time they’re done with her, she’s gonna age twenty years overnight. If she keeps this job much longer, she’s gonna end up looking like the Crypt-Keeper.

Finally, we come to the master of disaster himself- Donald J. Trump. I have only one thing to say- Donnie, Donnie, Donnie…. Please… just… do us both a favor. Shut the fuck up. One week, Donnie, that’s all I’m asking. I’m sick and tired of writing about you. I can’t deal with another month of your stupid shit. Seriously. I’m begging you, stuff your mouth with cotton, get on your plane, and just fade from existence for a little while. You’re like the monolithic statue in central park, and I’m the pigeon on top of your head taking a massive dump on it. Just stop.

You and I both know you don’t want to be President. It’s too much work, there’s not enough money in it, and you can’t fill your cabinet with nothing but babes. I’d tell you to give it up, but I know you won’t. You’re going to take it all the way. You’re that much of an egomaniac. God, I pity you. Anybody else would have blown his brains out by now.

With reality setting in, it almost seems as though the press gave Trump a bunch of free press to build him up and then tear him down. Not only are they tearing him down, they’re demolishing him. And he brought it all on himself. It’s only going to get a hundred times worse if Trump brings up Bill Clinton’s infidelities in the debates later on tonight. Trump doesn’t just live in a glass house- he lives in a glass house on the edge of a mountain surrounded by falling rocks. I only wish one would fall on him.

My final word is this- just because you can do something, it doesn’t mean you should. And just because you have wealth, it doesn’t release you from the burden of being a decent human being. All people are deserving of respect- even Donald Trump. When you start thinking you’re above that, not only do you not deserve respect, you deserve to be mocked.

And I’ll always be here to do the mocking, you creamsicle-colored jerk!

About Post Author

Gregory B. Gonzalez

Gregory B. Gonzalez is an angry black man who isn't actually black. No, really- he told us to say that! His parents once had him tested for Tourette's, but when the doctor came back with his results, he said, "No, he's fine. Your son is just an a**hole!" It's been downhill ever since. He lives like the Unabomber, only without the explosives. Feel free to contact him provided you can actually locate him. Just keep in mind that he'll probably make fun of you to your face. We here at MMA can't stand him, so if you want him, he's all yours!
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Gregory B Gonzalez
7 years ago

????

jess
7 years ago

I’ve been thinking about this all day as of right now. I am so happy it is a woman that will tear him to shreds tonight at the debate with all his sexual assault confessions. Hillary to some is all kinds of(insert what you want here) but she is nothing but a badass when it comes to tearing down GoOpers, see Benghazi meeting as proof of that. While a man could do it, it wouldn’t hold the same gravitas because women go through this shit every single day. She will be that woman for all of us women that takes it to him for his disgusting behavior. Like a friend of mine just said at breakfast, This gon be good watching.
I’mma leave this here. Enjoy

jess
7 years ago

When I got the info about pussygrab the other day first people I wanted to do something on it were you and my friend Joe, I knew either one of you would give it the right stuff. You have not disappointed at all. The other thing I am looking forward to, is the rape case against him that will be in court in December. It will give people a huge sigh of relief when he gets his ass handed to him in Nov that he will be nowhere near the WH.

Gregory B Gonzalez
Reply to  jess
7 years ago

I don’t know that I would say he has no chance, Jess. He’s lost a lot republican support, but his base is still intact. Still gotta keep those fingers crossed.

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