Winding Up To Christmas

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I have a confession to make and I’m told it’s good for the soul. Being something of an atheist I have always taken that to mean good for the music – you can’t beat a good bit of soul music, especially Northern Soul which is specific to the North of England for reasons that would require an entire article to explain. My confession is, I absolutely love winding people up.

Now, I have no idea whether the term ‘winding people up’ means the same in America as it does in Blighty. Just in case you haven’t the foggiest, it means ‘getting them going’ or ‘getting their attention’ even if that means making them angry or annoyed or confused or offended.

I find it amusing – which probably says a lot about me I suppose.

I’ll give you a ‘local’ example. The other day my driving student passed his driving test first time. I went to our company office but, instead of simply announcing what a brilliant driving instructor I am, I told the owner and the office girls that he had accidentally smashed the car up on his test.

I am invariably extremely convincing at stuff like this.

The car is owned by the company – which is unusual as most instructors have to lease their cars but I’ve ended up with a ‘special deal’ as they like me – See! Somebody likes me! 🙂

Anyway, the look on their faces was a picture well worth taking. I’m good at winding up I am.

Obviously, once I had achieved my objective I owned up to the truth that he had passed with flying colours and the owner and the girls gave me some good hearted verbal abuse.

As we enter the season of goodwill and all that, I thought, as a goodwill gesture, I would own up, as it were, to having successfully wound up any number of people on MadMike’sAmerica (MMA) – sometimes with far more success than I realised possible.

In fairness, it isn’t that hard really. After all, I don’t need to practice my realistic facial expressions on MMA. All I have to do is write the stuff and the blue touch paper is lit and off some of you go! Marvellous!!

The thing is, sometimes I am not ‘winding you up’. That makes it even more fun as you never know when I am and when I’m not.

That, to me, is one of my favourite things about the good old internet. You can say things to get a reaction regardless of whether you even vaguely hold the views you are stating you hold.

For all you know I could be a communist. I could be working for Russia. I could be a liberal sent out into the ether to wind you up and get you fighting when liberalism seems to be getting a bashing.

On the other hand I could just be some mouthy English northern bloke spouting off after several beers – I admit that one seems the most likely doesn’t it?

It could be that, despite appearances to the contrary, I am a dyed in the wool liberal who wholeheartedly supports liberal values to the death – then again, I could be a far right racist xenophobe with transgender friends (as mentioned recently – that’s the transgender friends incidentally. I have been accused of far right racism and xenophobia but that wasn’t the ‘mentioned recently’ bit I meant).

All in all, I have and do thoroughly enjoy the banter on MMA. In fact I enjoy your company so much I almost feel guilty sometimes at trying – successfully on so many many occasions – at winding you up. Almost.

Anyway, as the season of goodwill is upon us, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy Christmas – which is the correct way of saying it rather than ‘happy holidays’. If someone of another culture is offended by Happy Christmas then tough.

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very prosperous and peaceful New Year.

The year 2016 was an absolute bitch wasn’t it? On the other hand perhaps I enjoyed it?

Who knows? This entire article may be just a wind up anyway?

I’ll tell you what isn’t a wind up though.

I love, respect and admire every single one of you more than I could put into words, including Cherries 🙂

Speaking for myself. My world is a far better place for all of you at MMA being a part of it and, for that, I thank you.

Happy Christmas and, possibly against so many many odds, a peaceful New Year to follow. xxx

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.
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Glenn R. Geist
7 years ago

Takes a hell of a lot to make me smile these days, but you did, so thanks dude and a happy Christmas.

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