Could Trump Stop An Energy Crisis?
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President elect Trump may actually be capable of doing some good. Well, if he lives up to his name he might. As I have stated before, in Britain the word ‘trump’ is a polite word for a fart. A fart, of course, is the act of emitting wind from the anus. There are many many other commonly used words for this marvellous act of course.
Anal acoustics, back end blow out, botty burp, colon cologne, rectal turbulence, rump ripper, thunder dumpling and one of my personal favourites, silent but deadly. The ‘silent but deadly’ are best used when in bed. Basically you silently emit a trump, allow it to roll to the bottom of the bed, and then waft the quilt causing it to rise quickly up to the nostrils of your sleeping partner. The consequences are terrible but it is impossible not to laugh and upset them even more. As a result, this should only be attempted once in a lifetime.
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Anyway, after suitably lowering the tone at MMA, onto my Trump point.
If he could live up to his name, and given that most of what comes out of his mouth is not entirely dissimilar to what will occasionally pop out of his rectum – we all do it you know. Oh yes we do! Stop being so uptight!
Where was I? Oh yes, given that his mouth utterances are remarkably similar to things coming out of the other end it is just possible that he could achieve the unlikely goal of creating excess energy for the USA.
You see, the chemical makeup of a trump is as follows :
Nitrogen: 20-90%
Hydrogen: 0-50% (flammable)
Carbon dioxide: 10-30%
Oxygen: 0-10%
Methane: 0-10% (flammable)
Quite how I know these things is a mystery to me – and no I didn’t Google it. Well, if I did it was so long ago I’ve forgotten but the knowledge remains in what passes for my mind.
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Now even with my limited knowledge of more useful things, such as what gases can be used for energy of one sort or another, I am aware that nitrogen, hydrogen and methane certainly can.
Just think, if someone found a way to harness Trump’s anal and, primarily, verbal trumps he could single handedly reduce America’s dependency on oil from Arabs and so on.
Well, at least I’m trying to put a positive spin on his election!
No?
Oh all right, I’ll get me coat.
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Your lexicon of synonymous terms is notably short of Le Pétomane.
Those of us fans of Mel Brook’s classic “Blazing Saddles” are aware that he managed to get away with so much because he could demonstrate that his questionable dialogues and references were either direct quotes from previous works, or historical references. I.E., the part Brooks himself plays as Governor Le Pétomane.
“Le Pétomane was the stage name of the French flatulist (professional farter) and entertainer Joseph Pujol (June 1, 1857 – 1945). He was famous for his his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles, which enabled him to seemingly fart at will. His stage name combines the French verb péter, “to fart” with the -mane, “-maniac” suffix, which translates to “fartomaniac”. The profession is also referred to as “flatulist”, “farteur”, or “fartiste”.”
You can read more at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane
Let’s hope Trump will be as entertaining.
has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?