Donald Trump: You Can’t Keep A Good Woman Down
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If there’s one thing you can say about Donald Trump, he does know how to provoke a reaction, but probably not exactly the way he intended. When he made his infamous ‘pussy grabbing’ comments, he drew a lot of heat and was labeled a misogynist pig by women’s groups and the media at large, not that any of it was unwarranted.
From his ongoing feud with Rosie O’Donnell, to his verbal abuse towards former Miss Universe, Alicia Machado, and his rather unhealthy obsession with his daughter, Ivanka, it’s become painfully apparent that the Donald’s attitude towards the ladies is lacking in both respect and sensitivity. Or even basic human decency. Now he’s our president.
Excuse me while I choke back the vomit rising in my throat for typing that last sentence.
I love women. I love everything about them. Not romantically or sexually- I just love the way they inspire men to be our best selves. They are the living embodiment of everything great that we can be if we tried. I’ve always had women friends, and I like to think that they’ve enriched my life and made me a better person.
Does that mean I’ve completely submerged my ‘guy’ impulses and tucked my balls back into their body cavity? No, as anyone who knows me will tell you- I’m an asshole. But I have a tremendous amount of respect for women. When I was little and women were marching for the ERA back in the day, I used to watch the newscasts and think, “Why don’t women have equal rights? What’s the big deal?” The whole thing never made any sense to me. Then again, I was only five years old. But that’s not the point.
Even though I support women’s rights and I’m pro-choice, I don’t know if I would go so far as to refer to myself as a feminist. To be honest, I think it sounds a little silly for a man to be a feminist. I mean, it’s not like we have the equipment to relate. Women like to say, “Men’s heads would explode if they had to deal with having a period every month!” And my answer to that would be… silence. I’m not going to touch that one with a ten-foot pole. But anyway, I digress. The point I was trying to make is that I don’t necessarily think you have to call yourself a feminist to want equal rights for everyone.
A lot of people weren’t too pleased with the Cheeto-faced Shitgibbon’s ascent to power. More specifically, a lot of ANGRY women weren’t too pleased that a self-styled ‘pussy-grabber’ was elected to our highest office. So much so that they held a protest the day after he took his oath. And what a protest it was- over two MILLION people around the world donned their pink ‘pussy’ hats to protest Donald Trump. Even in Antarctica, if you can believe that (and you can- there are photos of them, Donnie!)
Now, I dunno about you, but if I were a newly elected president and had that many women pissed off at me, I would hide out in the White House’s underground bunker until the next election in 2020. But as we all know, Trump is not the brightest bulb of the bunch. I must admit I was blown away by the turnout- I expected a few thousand at most, not an epic sea of pink. I would have liked to be there, but I honestly thought this was purely a female thing. (See? There’s the ‘guy’ in me talking. No offense, ladies!)
Although I didn’t participate in the Los Angeles march, I have friends who did, and they were kind enough to share their experiences with me. The first comes from Beatrice, an Oscar-winning hairstylist:
“ I think the thing that left the biggest impression on me was that there were so many of us willing to get involved, whatever the cost. After seeing what happened to the protesters in Washington during that joke of an inauguration, people being doused with pepper spray, I was prepared for the worst. Arrest if necessary, it didn’t matter- whatever it took to make our cause heard was worth it to us.
As we neared Pershing Square, I saw the vast majority of those on the train we rode to the protest were all there for the same reason. I felt a sense of pride. I knew they were expecting a crowd between ninety to a hundred thousand people, and seeing all of them brought me to tears.
As it got closer to the march, I saw countless parents with their children. There was no fear in that crowd, only commitment and hope in the air. What impressed me the most were the daddies with their daughters. God, I’m still tearing up over it. How amazing it is to know that these wonderful men were empowering these young women, teaching them that they matter; that their rights matter.
I feel more hope for our future knowing that there is a generation of young women coming up who have this incredible strength and unity to draw from. There were people as far as the eye could see. There were a myriad of causes, but we were all united for one purpose. There was no pushing, no shoving, and no violence- there was only caring and love.”
This is from another friend, Stacy, a student:
“On the train down to Pershing Square, everyone was packed in like sardines, yet no one was upset or anxious. Someone started singing ‘God Bless America’ and the whole car joined in. Since we were all in uncomfortably close quarters, we ended up making friends with those around us. We even sang happy birthday to one of our fellow passengers- an elderly lady named Bonnie who had turned sixty-five.
It was just past ten a.m. when we finally arrived within walking distance of the event, and others who had taken alternate transport joined our already sizable crowd. It didn’t seem overly packed at first, and then a steady stream turned into a river of people that was overflowing with a multitude of signs and wearing pussy hats. The surrounding area was soon packed with all walks of life. We saw people of all ages and ethnicities, families, elderly folks in wheelchairs, there was even someone on crutches with a broken leg, and a woman near us who was due to deliver her baby in a week’s time. All of these people felt their presence was needed at this gathering no matter their current situation.
The feeling in the air was infectious. Every single person I saw was in high spirits, excited that so many others shared their views on the importance of healthcare, women’s rights, and our current political situation which threatens everything we were standing up for. Even the police officers patrolling the area were in good moods and thanked by the people who passed them. There were no fights, no arguments, no ill will, no arrests and no property damage. This was the epitome of a peaceful protest.
I tend to be a bit wary and pessimistic at times. My friend and I kind of expected something bad to happen, like a riot or mass arrests. Both of us were pleasantly surprised that we were wrong in our paranoia. It was the complete opposite of what we thought might happen. We left elated and full of hope knowing that we weren’t in the minority of people who felt the way we do. The march restored our faith in humanity.”
Meanwhile, down in Langley, VA, the tangerine meanie was bemoaning the press for under-reporting the size of the non-existent crowds at his shit-show of a coming out party. My first thought was, “Oh, Man- when he finds out how many people were at the march, he’s going to have a stroke!” I wish.
As I wrote in my last article, I figured Trump wouldn’t have much of a response to the women’s march, and I was right. There was no furious twitter rant. His only response was to write, “Watched protests yesterday, but was under the impression that we just had an election! Why didn’t these people vote?”
Now pay close attention here, Sparky- those people DID vote; approximately three MILLION more than the morons who voted for you. YOU DID NOT WIN THE POPULAR VOTE. THE ONLY REASON YOU WON IS BECAUSE A FEW THOUSAND MORE METH-HEADS AND PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER VOTED AGAINST THEIR OWN INTERESTS IN THE SWING STATES, ALLOWING YOU TO WIN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTE. THE MAJORITY OF THE COUNTRY HATES YOU!
Do you understand that, Donnie? Or would you prefer I illustrate it for you in crayon?
Or let me put it in simpler terms- Trump had maybe 800,000 people at his inauguration, a good portion of whom were protesting the event. THERE WERE OVER TWO MILLION PEOPLE AT THE WOMEN’S MARCH, and that was WORLDWIDE. I know you have a big problem with basic math, Mr. Trump (I’m never going to call you Mr. President,) but even you can’t be THAT frickin’ dense! Oh, wait. I forgot whom I was talking to. Nevermind.
Kellyanne (Ms. Alternative Facts) Conway, a woman so evil and soulless who lies so much I’m amazed she hasn’t burst into flames, had this to say, “I frankly didn’t see the point. I mean, you have a day after [President Trump] is uplifting and unifying and you have folks here being on a diatribe where I think they could have requested a dialogue. Nobody called me and said, ‘Hey, could we have a dialogue?’”
Really, Ms. Conway? Would you and God Emperor Velveeta have been willing to confront a crowd of angry protesters and listen to their concerns? Judging from both your statements, I highly doubt it. In fact, they downplayed the whole thing like it was nothing, and I’ll tell you why- because if they had acknowledged it beyond paying lip service, they would have legitimized it and brought it more attention than they wanted to deal with. I mean, Trump won the election and has been in power (for what feels like an eternity, though it’s only been a little longer than a week,) and he’s STILL bitching about not winning the popular vote and the non-existent masses at his coronation. Seriously, how is it possible to be both a sore winner AND a sore loser at the same time?
If I had to make a single criticism about the women’s march, it’s only in the fact that there were pro-life supporters who were asked not to march. I realize how sensitive an issue abortion is to people, I really do. Again, I’m pro-choice, but in this particular circumstance, being pro-life is a choice these women made for themselves, and they were against Trump as much as we are. They should have been allowed to march. I don’t know that we can truly afford to turn anyone away. We need all the help we can get. Part of the reason we have the problems we do is because we can’t come to a place of mutual understanding. As always, I don’t expect anyone to agree with me, I’m just giving you something to think about. No offense intended to anyone.
If there’s one thing this protest has showed us, it’s the fact that while there is a lot of anger and frustration over Donald Trump’s presidency, more importantly- there is a lot of hope, too. In the words of Bill Maher, “We are still here.”
And as we have already proven, we’re not going anywhere. We won’t go down easy, either. Better put your dukes up, Donnie- we’re going to fight you as hard as we can. Thank you for showing us the way, ladies.
RESIST.
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The forced birthers had their own demonstration right after the woman’s march. I do not call them pro life at all because if they were they would want women to make their own choices about when and how to bring life into the world. These guys are ok with me being raped and having to carry my rapist’s cells to term, fuck that noise. There were people from both groups in each of the marches from all I have seen. I went to the one here in SF and it was glorious. Gave me a tiny bit of hope for the next step. Oh and you sound like my daddy with the “I don’t know if I can call myself a feminist because…” My mother would remind him if you are of the opinion women matter equally to men and their choices matter, no matter what they are, you are a card carrying feminist.
Then where’s my card? Did it get lost in the mail or something?
I didn’t read the pro-lifers weren’t allowed to march. Interesting.
One pro-life group was asked not to participare in an official capacity because the march was co-sponsored by Planned Parenthood. But a few pro-lifers did manage to join the protest.
I see. Interesting little exception.
I can’t think of even one redeeming quality resident in this monstrous man.