10 Tips for Donald Trump From Jack the Dog
by Jack ‘the dog’ Greenberg
My best pal, David, asked me to do a post on Donald Trump. Being the politically active dog I am, I thought it might be nice to offer some helpful advice. So, Mr. Trump – from one dog to another, here ya go:
1) Being a good dog is very important.
2) Don’t bark if nobody’s there. It gets people really upset.
3) Learn to wait. I know waiting’s hard. I still barely get it. But if you wait, people might like you more.
4) Don’t go to Florida every time it snows. I know snow freezes your paws. But it costs a lot of money. And I guess money’s pretty important stuff.
5) Always take your medicine. You’re supposed to sit and let them give you the medicine. Everybody knows that. If you don’t take your medicine, they get a lady in a white coat, and she stuffs it up your butt. So always take your medicine.
6) If you’re a gentleman, you can have a treat.
7) You gotta quit lying. They always know. Don’t ask me how they find out, but they always know. You’re just lying there licking your face, and they’re all, “Did you eat my pizza? Bad dog!”
8) No, it wasn’t the doggie who lives in the mirror. See #7.
9) Don’t sit at the top of the stairs and growl. They call that dominant behavior. People don’t like it. You don’t want to end up in shelter, do you? Be nice to people. This concerns you, Donald. Try being nice. I get a lot more treats being nice, than I ever got being dominant.
10) Don’t shake all the time. It makes your ears swell up – then you go see that lady in the white coat again.
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