An Angry Englishman Takes On Big Business And Tells Us How To Do It

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I am flabbergasted and amazed at quite how badly some people allow themselves to be treated when they are paying their hard earned for a service or whatever. Why do people allow companies to walk all over them and treat them like they don’t matter when the same companies behaving in this manner are actually taking the money out of their pockets to provide a service that they are either failing to provide at all or, at best, are providing in an unacceptably poor way?

What is wrong with you people?? (If you qualify in the aforementioned category as so many strangely appear to).

Are you terminally nuts? Are you so downtrodden by the world in general that you haven’t any fight left in you? Perhaps you are of a generation that believed (foolishly) that everyone follows rules and therefore behaves correctly so, over the years, you have lost the ability to realise that there are many companies out there who will happily take your money whilst not actually giving a shit whether they are actually providing you with the service you are entitled to – maybe you are just too dumb to see it?

I don’t know, you tell me!

Anyway, I’m not too dumb to see it and, being an inordinately mouthy English northerner I tell ’em straight. All the better if they don’t like it so take a tip from me.

Treat ’em as they treat you and don’t give them an inch.

For example. I accepted a new mobile and contract from a company called SCS in Essex who are ‘EE Partners’. I was happy with their offer, received said upgrade mobile and then there was a wee problemette.

Had SCS behaved correctly the problem would have been solved but they didn’t and, frankly, don’t fuck with Bammy. One chance is all you get and they blew it.

So, I advised them that they were not in control, I was, and, as a result of their incompetence the contract was cancelled etc etc.

The mail I sent was as follows :

Hello,

Further to my email earlier today.

On receiving my new mobile from you I called at around 1pm as I couldn’t transfer my data from my old phone to my new phone.

Four hours later I called you again and then sent you a mail stating that I would cancel the contract if I received no assistance today.

As I received no assistance what so ever I am henceforth cancelling the contract.

I will pop to my local EE shop and sort out a new phone etc.

SCS have lost my business quite simply because your customer service is absolutely useless.

I will not spend my money with a company who are a waste of time.

As for the new mobile now in my possession. You are welcome to collect it. I will happily post it back to you provided you send me a prepaid parcel to put it in. (They won’t. I’ve been here before. No worries. One free phone for nothing)

If you expect me to pay to return it then you will be disappointed as I will not.

You want it you’re welcome to it but you must come and get it or pre-pay postal charges. This is not negotiable.

Your company is absolutely hopeless. Quite how you remain in business is a mystery to me if this is how you treat your customers.

Here endeth the lesson.

I then mailed Marc Allera, the CEO of EE. Clearly EE hadn’t fucked up, their ‘partner’ had. This does, of course, reflect badly on EE.

I’ve mailed Marc before so he knows what kind of customer I am – yep – a pain in the ass kind. You see, if I’m paying there is no middle ground. The only rules are mine and there’s no wriggle room. No negotiation. It’s my way or my money stays in my pocket, end of.

Of course, companies don’t like that attitude. It makes their lives difficult. Yeah! I love making their lives difficult if they don’t behave as I insist they do. They want my money they do it my way or I’ll go elsewhere.

I’ve never understood why so many people just don’t seem to get it.

It’s your money you are paying out so don’t take any shit. YOU tell them how it is and they accept it or you pull the plug and they lose the business.

It ain’t rocket science and yet, to so many, it clearly is.

Take my advice. When it comes to forking out your hard earned learn to say “No” and mean it. When they know you mean it they absolutely crap themselves. You see, these days, more and more people just don’t know how to say “No”.

‘Oh I can’t. They’re a big company and they won’t like it’ – get some balls people! Just say “No!”

Bloody empowering is that little word.

Trust me I’m from Oldham.

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.

fourdinners14223647@aol.com