Why Paul Ryan Needs To Put Trump’s Pecker In His Pocket
Read Time:4 Minute, 12 Second
by Joe Hagstrom
Along with fellow republicans from here to Russia, I too shared in the disappointment of President Trump’s recent health care fiasco. The biggest disappointment though was not the failure of his “replacement,” but that he and the momma’s boy Paul Ryan even bothered with a replacement for Obamacare.
The Left disparages us righties for being dupes and falling for all the bullshit republicans tell us. Of course part of that is we like being told the shit we want to hear. What the Left is failing to realize is we know we are being lied to but don’t care since changing one’s thinking is hard and the only hard things we like are our weenies when boinking our Argentine hotties like Congressman Mark Sanford did.
We fully know we are being lied to, when Paul Ryan says he wants to “broaden the tax base.” We know that means tax cuts for the rich and those who aren’t rich pay more. But we appreciate the attempt at subterfuge so we support this dipshit anyway.
Read: Paul Ryan Is No Republican
When the tea baggers, or Freedom Caucus as they like to be called, now say they support freedom and deregulation we know they don’t really mean it. We just are entertained by white men in nice suits ranting about shit neither of us understand. It makes us feel smart.
What makes us sad about this Obamacare situation is the republican Congress didn’t just hold a vote to repeal the whole thing and tell us they would fix the health insurance system later. They voted 60 some times to repeal it during the Obama Presidency but now they can’t vote to repeal it without having an out to keep it going. These same fools could outlaw abortion with exceptions for life and health if they really wanted to, but one of them always manages to slip in an amendment outlawing all abortions which even this Supreme Court would strike down as an undue burden. Of course they can come home and tell us they’re fighting for the unborn and to keep women safe and other shit we want to hear.
Read: What Do I Have To Do To Get Idiot Republicans To Notice Me?
So Trump and Ryan chickened out on repealing Obamacare. And now Trump is even blaming Ryan even though he says he isn’t. He just happened to tweet that we should watch a show on Fox News with a vapid woman demanding Ryan go away. And that brings us to Speaker Ryan’s latest profile in lack of courage:
Donald Trump shoved a bill down your throat which had very little chance of passing. Trump had little to no understanding of health insurance or the legislative process. In all fairness no republican has any understanding of health insurance or health care but we get by saying the same shit about freedom and tax cuts. Ryan is an expert at this. He has even been awarded the moniker of “policy wonk” he is so adept at the simpleton explanation of tax cuts and deregulation to describe and fix anything. When his cable goes out he doesn’t call the provider. He gives his television a tax cut and it magically starts working. Trump is good at telling deluded fools the shit they want to hear also. But there can only be one top tax cutting, deregulating alpha male in Washington DC. It’s time for Ryan to exert his dominance and he has the tools to do it.
Read: Relax: President Trump Is A Man Of the Bible
Ryan can appoint people to the committee investigating Trump and the Russian dealings. Trump has that treasonous idiot Nunes doing his bidding now. Ryan dumps him for a Trump hating asshole in the mold of the Bill Clinton hating asshole Ken Starr then the fight is over. Ryan comes out the top dog once again. Trump and his whole crowd get a mass castrating. And Ryan needs to do this quick as Trump would do it to him, if he hasn’t started the process already, before Paul can say “Ouch! My Nuts!”
Respect in Washington DC is born out of fear Speaker Ryan. You cut off the President’s nuts your problems with the phony freedom caucus and Ted Cruz and the rest of the hard right nutjobs will be over. Mike Pence will be your bitch instead of Trump’s. And think of all the tax cuts you could ram through Congress for your wealthy benefactors. And think of all they will donate to you out of fear they’re nuts could be the next ones on the chopping block. Former Speaker Dennis Hastert, a former high school gym teacher, amassed enough wealth during his time in Congress to pay millions in hush money to boys he raped. Just imagine how much money you could rake in.
Lyndon Johnson said never trust a man unless you have his pecker in your pocket. Time to put President Trump’s pecker in your pocket Speaker Ryan.
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Paul Ryan and the tax cut for the television might be one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time.
It’s funny because this idiot believes it’s true