Excerpts From President Trump’s Travel Diary (Parts Three & Four)

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by E.A. Blair

An exclusive leak from someone on Air Force One has supplied me with notes from Donald Trump’s travel diary. In true Trumpish fashion, each entry appears to be 140 characters or less. I have no explanation for the fact that these have not shown up in the presidential twitter feed. Here are the entries from his third stop:

Vatican City (May 24th)

Going to meet the Pope today. LOVE his hats, but he needs a better dressmaker. Maybe Ivanka could help him out.

Got a tour of that huge church they have here – the biggest. The guide had a funny Italian name so I called him Pete.

Went 2 mass. No collection, so I put a fin on the plate when they passed the little crackers around.

Got lots more ideas for redecorating the Oval Office. It’ll be tremendous.

It’s a good thing I’m not Catholic, cuz I’d really have to pay attention to this guy.

Pope gave me a medal with an olive branch stamped on it. Didn’t have the heart to tell him I’m allergic to olives.

Belgium (May 25th)

Was looking forward to waffles w/lots syrup & whipped cream. Just bread and cheese, loser food. Sad! Should have eaten on the plane.

People keep talking about something going on at THE HAIG. Thought Al retired.

Belgium is a really great city, hope they won’t have Brussels sprouts at dinner.

Had to teach this guy Marakovic that “America First means Me First.

Reminded NATO members they had to pay their fair share. Do as I say, not as I do.

There still seems to be some kind of problem with the no fly list. Sending Jared home to find out what’s going on.

The Belgians have let too many Muslims infiltrate Europe. TOLD THEM SO!! I can fix it if they listen to me!

Next Stop: G7 Summit in Italy..

About Post Author

E.A. Blair

E.A. Blair is the 'nom de commenter' of someone who has been a teacher, game designer, programmer, logistic support officer and technical writer at various times in his life. Most of the hits in a search on his real name predate the internet; it appears exactly four times in Wikipedia and six times on IMDb.

ericarthurblairr@gmail.com