Why Are ‘Ladies And Gentlemen’ Banned From London Train Stations?

by Neil Bamforth

The politically correct of Britain – in this case specifically London – are ‘at it’ again so, perhaps unsurprisingly, so am I. The sane people of London are probably losing the will to live whilst the lunatics and far left nutcases continue to cause madness and bewilderment amongst us. Something called ‘Mermaid’ supports the banning of ‘ladies and gentlemen’ but more of them later.

It has been announced by Transport For London (TFL) and The Mayor Of London, Sadiq Khan (I might have known he’d be in there somewhere), that in future, railway station announcers will no longer be allowed to begin their oration over the loudspeakers with “Ladies and gentlemen” in order to ensure they are being inclusive of those who do not classify themselves as either ladies or gentlemen.

Quite what they classify themselves as was left a little unclear. Aliens? Bats? Chimpanzees? Amoeba’s? No idea myself.

Anyway. The fabled train station announcers have been banned from beginning their equally fabled announcements with “Ladies and gentlemen”.

Incidentally, just in case you are uncertain here, no, I am not joking.

Apparently they are to begin their sage pronouncements regarding your train being late with “Hello everyone”. This, apparently is ‘inclusive’ to those sensitive souls who can’t decide whether they are boys or girls or, possibly, aliens, bats, chimpanzees or amoeba’s.

An organisation called ‘Mermaid’ – and, no, I have no idea why they are called that either – are delighted. Apparently they deal with young people who apparently have something called ‘gender issues’. I admit to a degree of relief on discovering they aren’t suggesting young people are developing fish tails. I’ve enough trouble with ‘Michael’ in my pond (he started out orange and turned white) who appears to be regularly breaking into a fish version of “Thriller” – or perhaps he always swam that way and I’d never noticed?

Anyway, to continue.

Train station announcers all over the UK are fabled for being entirely incomprehensible. The only thing you ever heard relatively clearly was “Ladies and gentlemen”. After that you tended to hear “the tawin frummm Readinghassss bindilid soivyumek yourwaaaaay tpladfum sheeevit youcuncartanudtawinviaOxfffffffffffrd indead”

So why are TFL and The Mayor paying any attention at all to ‘Mermaid’ and banning “ladies and gentlemen”?

I DON’T KNOW.

Probably because they are resolutely insane and are so far up their ‘diversity’ and ‘inclusiveness’ asses that they would agree to anything that is proposed to them that included the words ‘minority’, ‘inclusive’, ‘multi-cultural’, multi-ethnic’, ‘gay’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gender neutral’ and any claptrap of that ilk.

A caller to the excellent radio station LBC (Leading Britain’s Conversation) pointed out that, in actual fact ‘ladies and gentlemen’ did not discriminate in the first place.

You are a man and know it. You are a lady and know it. You are gay but a man. You are gay but a woman. You are a man who thinks he’s a woman or a woman who thinks she’s a man. No difference. You are a lady or man either by physical appearance or mental belief.

Either way you are a ‘lady’ or a ‘gentleman’ therefore no discrimination is occurring.

That point was put to the representative of ‘Mermaid’ who responded with “What about those who are gender neutral?”

AAAAARRRRRRRGH!!!!!

So, in future, if you find yourself wondering where the hell your 3:30 train is at 3:45 in a London station you will find out via the station announcer saying –

Hello everyone, the tawin frummm Readinghassss bindilid soivyumek yourwaaaaay tpladfum sheeevit youcuncartanud tawinvia Oxfffffffffffrd indead”

rather than –

Ladies and gentlemen, the tawin frummm Readinghassss bindilid soivyumek yourwaaaaay tpladfum sheeevit youcuncartanud tawinvia Oxfffffffffffrd indead”

This is clearly a huge victory for men who think they are women, women who think they are men, gender neutrals and let’s not forget aliens, bats, chimpanzees and amoeba’s.

For the rest of us? Well, if this ban spreads I wouldn’t like to be invited to make a speech anywhere. I would, as most of us would, begin, “Ladies and gentlemen” – at this point I’d probably get lynched by Henry now he isn’t Henrietta anymore.

Is that a fish tail in there or are you just pleased to see me?

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Posted by on July 17, 2017. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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20 Responses to Why Are ‘Ladies And Gentlemen’ Banned From London Train Stations?

  1. Michael John Scott Reply

    July 17, 2017 at 11:35 am

    I agree. This whole “politically correct” nonsense has long been out of control. Now it’s gone crazy.

    • Timmy Mahoney Reply

      July 17, 2017 at 11:41 am

      Mike and Neil I couldn’t agree more. I’ll wager this bullshit will spread to the airlines, and everywhere else. I can just fucking hear it: ladies, gentlemen, ladies who are men, men who are ladies, ducks, chickens, horses and, of course fellow “amoebas,” welcome to Delta Flt 6969 to London.

  2. Barkely Reply

    July 17, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    Where is my bloody comment? I’ll try again: I don’t give a shite about who’s wearing what clothes, but you can’t be a man and a woman at the same time, and you’re either a lady or a gentleman, so we need to hear THAT again while waiting on our trains. Bunch of malarkey is what it is.

  3. Cheryl Anne Reply

    July 17, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    Can I ask? Is Caitlyn Jenner a lady or a gentleman?

    • jess Reply

      July 17, 2017 at 5:18 pm

      She is a woman, end of.

  4. jess Reply

    July 17, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    As someone that identifies as bi, the smugness coming off your words below is palbable there Neil and there is no need for it. Nothing the matter with inclusiveness at all, and I do think ladies and gentlemen is an ok thing to broadcast, instead of hello everyone.

    “Probably because they are resolutely insane and are so far up their ‘diversity’ and ‘inclusiveness’ asses that they would agree to anything that is proposed to them that included the words ‘minority’, ‘inclusive’, ‘multi-cultural’, multi-ethnic’, ‘gay’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gender neutral’ and any claptrap of that ilk.”

    • Neil Bamforth Reply

      July 17, 2017 at 5:36 pm

      Me smug??? Well I’ve been called many things but that’s a first…thank you!😜

      It’s uneccesary garbage Jess. Well, that’s my smug opinion a anyroad 😉

      • jess Reply

        July 17, 2017 at 8:53 pm

        Yep smug. I just told you, I identify as bi and you don’t seem to have any issues with me at all. Is that because I am one of the “good ones” because you kind of know me or what? You know me, I’ll call your ass out when I think you are being wrong or in this case smug and don’t think twice about doing so.

        • Neil Bamforth Reply

          July 18, 2017 at 4:20 am

          👍💕😃

        • Neil Bamforth Reply

          July 18, 2017 at 11:00 am

          No it’s not cause you are ‘one of the good ones’. I’ve genuine and valued pals that are gay, bi, black, brown, Muslim and transgender.

          Whilst I am also their friend they sometimes have to put up with me being a dick.

          As they know me well they know there’s no malice in me….just a strange mind 😜

  5. Michael John Scott Reply

    July 17, 2017 at 9:47 pm

    You can be smug old bean. Sorry. But then again so can I be, from time to time. Listen to Jess. I do.

    • Neil Bamforth Reply

      July 18, 2017 at 11:02 am

      I listen to Jess more than she’ll ever know mate.

      • jess Reply

        July 18, 2017 at 12:39 pm

        Yeah dammit, you should all listen to me and bow down before the empress of the universe. Oh yeah, it could happen and I will remember things 🙂

    • jess Reply

      July 18, 2017 at 12:38 pm

      If only I could harness this power I have for good right now 😉

  6. Bill Formby Reply

    July 18, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    Well, I guess I am in the wrong frame of mind. When writing e mails to my classes I usually “Hi Folks” or “Hi everyone”, rather than saying Hi boys and girls, or Ladies and gentlemen. I have done that for years, for longer than it has been an issue. Maybe I was just way ahead of my time. Of course, it does sound better to me to say, “OK, all of you listen up…” This may well be due to my polite Southern heritage of considering the terms Gentlemen or Ladies as having a certain level of moral interpretation. All males were never considered gentlemen, nor were all females considered ladies. So speaking in the generic allowed men to include everyone whether the were a lady or a gentleman. That sounded better than me including other words like asshole, idiots, bastards and bitches. So, in that leght I think I will continue to say “Hi Everyone.”

    • Neil Bamforth Reply

      July 18, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      Now THAT is a way forward for TFL announcers!!!

      “Ladies, gentlemen, assholes, scumbags, total dicks, bitches etc….your train to Glasgow has been delayed”…..

      I like it!!! 😃

      • Rachael Reply

        July 18, 2017 at 11:48 pm

        Uh oh. Our Jess isn’t going to like this.

        • Neil Bamforth Reply

          July 19, 2017 at 3:28 am

          Said in a humorous way I hasten to add!!!!….besides I’d be one of the total dicks 😉

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