- CRITTER TALK
- NEWS I FIND INTERESTING
It happened Wednesday evening. I still cannot believe it. I will forever be jeered, cajoled, harassed, and verbally kicked around by my “real” sports friends. They will be merciless and relentless in mocking my fall from their ranks. I shall hold my head in shame in every southern sports bar I enter where they know my secret. But I could not hide from this reality any longer. I had to come out of the closet, so to speak.
I think by now all of you folks know that I am, at heart, a good old southern boy, born and bred. I grew up playing baseball, football, basketball, a little tennis when public courses were available, and a whole lot of marbles. I even kept my favorite “toy” and my favorite “breaker” marble until I was old enough to join the Marines. For those of you not in tune with the marble world the “breaker” was the one you used to break up a bunch of marbles clustered together, and a “toy” was the one that you picked off the singles with to knock them out of the circle. I mean I got into everything that I thought a person could get into that was considered a sport by normal folk. As I got a bit older I even took up the “sport” of golf until about 6 years ago. There are still folks who will debate the issue of whether or not golf is a sport, but that is beside the present issue. There was one thing that I never, ever, even in my wildest dreams thought I could show any interest in … Curling. Yep! Shuffleboard on ice. Four grown men or women with a big, specially made piece of granite and brooms basically playing shuffleboard on a big long piece of ice. I sorta got hooked.
It all happened one night when I was waiting between heats, actually a commercial break, of one of the downhill skiing events. You know, one of the real sporting events. I flipped over to CNBC and there was Canada and France going at it all out with these 42 pound granite discs. I still don’t know all the rules so don’t ask me to explain them, but as the Canadians slid their “rocks” down the ice you would think you were in Bryant-Denny Stadium on the University of Alabama campus and Mark Ingram was running 100 yards for a touchdown. The 5,000 Canadian fans in that building were going wild. They were standing, jumping, and cheering, and waving Canadian flags. It was absolutely awesome. The hair stood up on the back of my neck and I could feel chill bumps in places you are not even supposed to feel chill bumps.
I was truly impressed, and that is saying something for an Alabama boy who has stood amongst 94,000 fans at the aforementioned football stadium on a fine fall Saturday afternoon watching the Crimson Tide kicking the crap out of some team. I got caught up in all of the cheering and the flag waving. I mean all I needed was a 20 ounce plastic cup half full of diet coke and half filled with Jack Daniels and I would have been right there on the fifty yard line. I started wondering, does America have one of these Curling teams? Sure enough, we do. Now I am searching everywhere to find out when they are going to be televised. I mean, really folks we have a men’s and a women’s team. I know, it’s sad isn’t it. A really true, born and bred southern sportsman has fallen to the “sport” of … Curling. OMG!Click here for reuse options!