Muzings From The Edge

It happened Wednesday evening. I still cannot believe it. I will forever be jeered, cajoled, harassed, and verbally kicked around by my “real” sports friends. They will be merciless and relentless in mocking my fall from their ranks. I shall hold my head in shame in every southern sports bar I enter where they know my secret. But I could not hide from this reality any longer. I had to come out of the closet, so to speak.

I think by now all of you folks know that I am, at heart, a good old southern boy, born and bred. I grew up playing baseball, football, basketball, a little tennis when public courses were available, and a whole lot of marbles. I even kept my favorite “toy” and my favorite “breaker” marble until I was old enough to join the Marines. For those of you not in tune with the marble world the “breaker” was the one you used to break up a bunch of marbles clustered together, and a “toy” was the one that you picked off the singles with to knock them out of the circle. I mean I got into everything that I thought a person could get into that was considered a sport by normal folk. As I got a bit older I even took up the “sport” of golf until about 6 years ago. There are still folks who will debate the issue of whether or not golf is a sport, but that is beside the present issue. There was one thing that I never, ever, even in my wildest dreams thought I could show any interest in … Curling. Yep! Shuffleboard on ice. Four grown men or women with a big, specially made piece of granite and brooms basically playing shuffleboard on a big long piece of ice. I sorta got hooked.

It all happened one night when I was waiting between heats, actually a commercial break, of one of the downhill skiing events. You know, one of the real sporting events. I flipped over to CNBC and there was Canada and France going at it all out with these 42 pound granite discs. I still don’t know all the rules so don’t ask me to explain them, but as the Canadians slid their “rocks” down the ice you would think you were in Bryant-Denny Stadium on the University of Alabama campus and Mark Ingram was running 100 yards for a touchdown. The 5,000 Canadian fans in that building were going wild. They were standing, jumping, and cheering, and waving Canadian flags. It was absolutely awesome. The hair stood up on the back of my neck and I could feel chill bumps in places you are not even supposed to feel chill bumps.

I was truly impressed, and that is saying something for an Alabama boy who has stood amongst 94,000 fans at the aforementioned football stadium on a fine fall Saturday afternoon watching the Crimson Tide kicking the crap out of some team. I got caught up in all of the cheering and the flag waving. I mean all I needed was a 20 ounce plastic cup half full of diet coke and half filled with Jack Daniels and I would have been right there on the fifty yard line. I started wondering, does America have one of these Curling teams? Sure enough, we do. Now I am searching everywhere to find out when they are going to be televised. I mean, really folks we have a men’s and a women’s team. I know, it’s sad isn’t it. A really true, born and bred southern sportsman has fallen to the “sport” of … Curling. OMG!

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Posted by on February 22, 2010. Filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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29 Responses to Muzings From The Edge

  1. Holte Ender

    February 22, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    LAZER – Like that other “sport” golf, curling has its origins in Scotland, curling I think is older than golf, going back to medieval days. The Scots have a lot to answer for, golf, curling, Scotch and haggis.

    • Lazersedge

      February 22, 2010 at 7:15 pm

      Yeah I know Holte. I used to make fun of golf. “A great way to spoil a nice walk, etc.” Maybe its my age but It does take talent.

  2. MadMike

    February 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Yea Scotch!!

    • Lazersedge

      February 22, 2010 at 7:16 pm

      Right on Mike. Double, on the rocks with a litlle splash of water.

  3. fourdinners

    February 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    Oh dear.

    Oh dearie dearie dearie me.

    And you sounded like such a normal chap as well.

    You never can tell can you?

    Curling is like watching the grass grow. If there was any grass. Which there isn’t.

    • Lazersedge

      February 22, 2010 at 7:19 pm

      Or perhaps watching ice melt. lol 4D Living in Alabama I doubt that I will ever take this up as a sport, but it is what it it is. I never thought I would like your version of football either but I love it as well.

  4. Z

    February 22, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    My first visit here (being a pal of 4D’s) and I don’t know what to say. Curling. Um.

    • Lazersedge

      February 22, 2010 at 7:21 pm

      Thanks for your visit Z. A bit off the mark here, but that’s why I stay on the edge.

  5. Will "take no prisoners" Hart

    February 22, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    I get a real kick out of the sweepers. They can come over my house any time!

    • Lazersedge

      February 22, 2010 at 7:23 pm

      I’ll vote for that Will. Man, they can really do a scrub routine. Like I said I don’t get it all yet but those folks really do get busy.

  6. Bee

    February 22, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    Curling always struck me as probably being addictive, like that card game Hearts. I have enough addictions, so I try to stay away from anything new 🙂

    • Lazersedge

      February 22, 2010 at 7:25 pm

      It actually is Bee, but it is only for another week or so. Can’t be that bad. And it is one of the few addictions the Republicans haven’t outlawed yet.

  7. MadMike

    February 22, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    I always thought curling was something women did with their hair 🙂

    Welcome “Z”

    • Lazersedge

      February 22, 2010 at 7:27 pm

      lol That or weights exercising biceps. But like Bee said, it can be additive. Really weird.

    • Hill

      February 23, 2010 at 4:24 pm

      Me, too…



  8. Hill

    February 23, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    That didn’t post where it was supposed to post. My comment was in reply to MadMike’s “I always thought curling was something women did with their hair :)”


    • Lazersedge

      February 23, 2010 at 5:44 pm

      lol Hill. Well whichever you think it might be I never thought I would be watching it as an Olympic event on television. Hell, here in Alabama we couldn’t put that many ice cubes together.

  9. Hill

    February 23, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Z, are you the same Z that comments at The Unruly Mob?


  10. Z

    February 23, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    Hello, Hill – no, I’m another Z. Since I’m English, you could think of me as Zed, to tell us apart.

    • Lazersedge

      February 23, 2010 at 5:48 pm

      English are ya. Well then, another great big welcome to you Z, or Zed. You folks do a bit of Curling over there don’t you?

  11. fourdinners

    February 23, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    My ‘Z’ is a babe of the highest order…so be nice!

    • Lazersedge

      February 23, 2010 at 7:37 pm

      4D my comment was meant with the highest respect. I think highly of all Brits, except Tony Blair of course. He was corrupted by Bush. After it was the Brits that brought us James Bond.

  12. Bee

    February 23, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    Well, there was that whole Jack the Ripper thing…


    • Lazersedge

      February 24, 2010 at 11:29 am

      Good point Bee. They say the reason he was never caught was because he fled to America. Figures. Give us your tired, your poor, your killers, etc.

  13. Z

    February 24, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Well, in Scotland. In England, we’ve got bowling instead, which is done on a bowling green. Exactly the same principle, but without the brooms. Or the ice.

    • Lazersedge

      February 24, 2010 at 11:32 am

      Hey we’ve got bowling Z. Except we do it indoors on highly polished wood with ten pins. That what you mean.

  14. Z

    February 24, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Er, no, that’s ten pin bowling. Bowling, or bowls, is done outside – you first roll a small bowl (the jack) to the other end of the green and then take it in turns to roll other balls, which are slightly asymmetrical to make them not roll straight unless you do it particularly hard, as close as possible to the jack. It can be played indoors in the winter on mats.

    it’s just exciting as curling. But more English, so there’s not all the shouting.

  15. Lazersedge

    February 24, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Z I really like you. I am somewhat aware of your version of bowling. Never tried it but I am sure the skill and strategy make it equally as exciting as Curling or American Bowling.

  16. Holte Ender

    February 24, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    LAZER – Check this out HERE