A Mad TeaBaggers party.

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“Oh how nice, a tea party! This is so lovely, may I sit down?” Alice said.

“Yes, do.” said the Mad Teabagger, “Hear some whine.”

“Hear some wine? Don’t you mean drink some wine?” asked Alice.

“Why can’t you just let us be!” shouted the Mad Teabagger. “We don’t won’t yur kind here!”

“But you did invite me, and I am so tired and thirsty.” Alice said “Ever since I swallowed that big blue pill in November, dear me, I have been running around like crazy but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere.”

Just then the Dormouse, who had been as silent as could be, chimed in…

“Health Care, Health Care, skedeedle skedaddle”

“Up the creek without a paddle”

“Socialism, Nihilism, Capitalist Whore”

“Grandma is going out the door!”

“Oh be quiet,” screamed the Rabbit, “That’s not true.”

“Oh YOU be quiet!” yelled the Mad Teabagger “Every since you came back from that ed-u-ca-shun you have been nothing but a fascist socialist!”

“What?…that doesn’t even make sense!” said the Rabbit who by now had gotten so angry that his ears pointed down and his eyes squinted “Besides, I don’t think that Grandma is….”

Suddenly the Dormouse shouted…

“Deficits, Immigrants, Nazis, and Taints…”

“SHUT UP!!” Everybody screamed.

“Oh please!” cried Alice “Stop with this arguing! Could I have some tea or water or anything?”

“Oh my! Where are my manners? Here have some tea and biscuits.” said the Mad TeaBagger.

“Yes, where are our manners?” said both the Dormouse and the Rabbit in unison.

“Oh thank you, thank you.” shouted Alice. “My, this tea is very good. But, if I may, could I have just a little more butter with my biscuit? It seems a bit dry.”

“But that is not butter silly girl!” exclaimed the Mad Teabagger. “That is margin, and we only need 10 percent to make it a meal.”

“But that doesn’t really make it proper nourishment for a sitting of tea?” Alice bemoaned. Her stomach was growling and churning. “How can you expect to get anywhere with that?”

“Yes, Yes, 10 percent well covers the biscuit and since we know it to be true, it is true.” exclaimed the Rabbit. “As a matter of fact, I have been selling these biscuits to the farmers market with great satisfaction. They buy a whole wagon of my biscuits at a time!” said the Rabbit.

But suddenly he was sad. His face looked like his bubble had just popped.

“What is the matter?” said Alice.

“Well,” said the Rabbit, “They never eat them, they just bundle them up and sell them again.”

“I’m sure that they just love the taste of your biscuits.” Alice said sympathetically.

continued on next page….

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14 years ago

Ah, I like it. I hadn’t read that one in a while.

14 years ago

Thanks, all! Hopefully it gave a couple of chuckles with its whimsicality.

Krell

Morgalla
14 years ago

The Dormouse. What a prophet for our age! When you notice a ‘taint, a teabagger is definitely right next door!

osori
14 years ago

“His face looked like his bub­ble had just popped”.

Great line! Worthy of the Bee!

Jessica
14 years ago

*polite golf clap* Very nicely done.

14 years ago

I adored this~! Well done! Very well done! 🙂

Admin
14 years ago

Having just seen Alice in Wonderland this post makes perfect sense to me 🙂

14 years ago

The bizarre Mad Hatters Tea Party was, reputedly, inspired by a little bit of opium use by Lewis Carroll, quite common and legal in his day. I wonder what is in the bat-shit crazy juice the current Mad Teabaggers are swallowing.

Twinkle, Twinkle little bagger

Bee
14 years ago

Very original – I quite enjoyed that 🙂

14 years ago

I agree with you, partisanship does smell – quite funkily in fact.

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