What if you lived in a land where the Tea-Baggers ruled?

I submit there are things too terrible to contemplate such as a pandemic, a third world war, the cancellation of Law and Order, or a president named Sarah Palin.   What would happen if through some cruel twist of fate the Tea-Baggers triumphed and Republicans were swept back into power with overwhelming numbers?  How would the country be different?  Well our good friend Chip Ward over at Tom Dispatch has some ideas.  I recommend you don’t read this at night:

What if the Tea Party ruled?  Imagine a land, let’s call it Glennbeckistan, where white, patriarchal, religiously zealous, Tea Party-type patriots hold a super-majority in both houses of the legislature, sit in the governor’s mansion, and control most local governments. It’s a place so out of sync with the rest of the nation that states’ rights and even secession are always on the agenda.  It’s a place where gun-ownership trumps all other rights, climate change is considered an insidious socialist conspiracy, and a miscarriage can be investigated as a potential crime.  Welcome to Utah.

Our rightwing red-state legislature just finished its annual 2010 session.  So-called message bills challenged the federal government’s right to govern federal lands, enforce gun controls, legalize abortion, and mandate health reform.  In addition, Utah’s lawmakers cut the education budget, raised tuitions, and slashed services to the disabled.  In fairness, state legislators across the nation, faced with disastrous drops in revenue, have likewise slashed social services and balanced budgets on the backs of the poor.  In Utah, however, they also shelved pensions for public employees.  That they could take such draconian action is instructive — organized labor is weak here, unions being another manifestation of creeping socialism.  Utah’s history of labor organizing, or grass roots and civil rights organizing for that matter, is anemic compared to most of America.  This is the place, after all, where IWW radical Joe Hill was arrested and executed.

Although Utah may be unique in some ways, Republican leaders here want the rest of the nation to be more like us.  In fact, a survey of the 2010 Utah legislative session could be considered a trailer for a movie the national Republican base would like all Americans to star in.  This movie would be for the Tea Party movement what Avatar is to tree huggers.

Before we get to this movie’s best scenes,  let’s identify some of the actors:  The posse that goes after the bad guys — the black-hatted Obamacrats —  are easy to identify.  They wear white hats (and skins).  They also wear their superior principles like shiny badges, and they claim to be the underdogs in this script, even while acting like schoolyard bullies.  And the bad guys?  In our state, they’re nowhere in sight unless you’re looking at Glenn Beck’s chalkboard.

Demonizing opponents is a creative activity for the posse and paranoia comes in endless variations, so the bad guys could be tax-and-spend liberals, illegal immigrants, gays (or at least those following “the gay agenda”), non-Republican blacks, federalists, socialists, environmentalists, pornographers, feminists, or those nature worshippers who believe in evolution.  The cast of evil-doers changes each year. So this year, for example, immigrants and gays got a break. Proposed bills to scuttle Salt Lake City’s new nondiscrimination ordinances were shelved until a future session of the state legislature — the Utah-based Mormon church is already catching enough flack for its support of Proposition 8 that banned same-sex marriage in California.  Further antagonizing the national gay community just now was deemed unwise.  Immigrants were beaten up enough in last year’s session.

The good guys are easy to recognize because they’re the ones constantly telling the audience how good they are.  Sadly, as is so often the case with holier-than-thou-heroes, there are visible stains on the white hats.  In fact, the 2010 session was bookended by scandal.  As the doors opened, Sheldon Killpack, the State Senate majority leader and an outspoken proponent of tougher drunk-driving laws, was busted for… drunk-driving.  He promptly resigned.

Continued HERE….

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23 Responses to What if you lived in a land where the Tea-Baggers ruled?

  1. Sue

    March 29, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    it’s a scary thought Mike, our great nation run by teabaggers, (((Shudder)))
    My latest post is about my ongoing battle with a couple Utah bloggers. The hate they have for Obama and liberals, their fearmongering and conspiracy theories like birth certificate challenges, college papers, socialism etc. is way out of the realm of reality. Seems the norm for Utah residents. (((More shudder)))

    • MadMike

      March 29, 2010 at 3:14 pm

      I have known a handful of folk who hailed from Utah Sue. Each and every one of them was a nutter. No exceptions. I am sure there are nice people in Utah, I just don’t happen to know any. I don’t which is worse, Utah or Texas.

      • Mother Hen

        March 30, 2010 at 3:37 pm

        Utah is way worse. The only good to come out of there was Wilford Brimley. Texas is a great state that has been co-opted by whackos. Utah has been a nutter haven since its inception. Plus a asscart full of my relatives were born, raised, and still live in Texas and they are no nuttier than me. I am merely eccentric. Pass the thorazine.

        • MadMike

          March 30, 2010 at 6:13 pm

          I think you are right MH. I had a friend, not too long ago, that lives in Texas. She went nuts, out of the blue, for no reason. I am distrustful of people [some] from Texas.

  2. Bee

    March 29, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Well, if those sorry fuckers make it back into a congressional majority, they’re going to cause hell. If they win in 2012 and get back in the White House as well, they’ll definitely take their revenge on the more-than-half the country that supported Obama. Get set for a rocky ride, folks.

    • MadMike

      March 29, 2010 at 5:55 pm

      Bee I don’t believe they have a chance in 2012, or 2010 for that matter. They may gain a few seats, but off elections always do cost the incumbent party. I still have faith in the silent majority. I admit it was rocked after Bush was re-elected but I am relatively confident that the American people, not those who watch Fox, but the rest of us, can make a smart decision.

  3. Holte Ender

    March 29, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Expect Utah to petition for secession before too long, it’s the way they are heading. Once they drop out of the Union, the men can go back to having 20 wives. The big different between them and Jihadists, the Islamic criminals get endless women in the afterlife, the nut jobs in Utah want endless women in this life.

    • MadMike

      March 29, 2010 at 5:56 pm

      Have you ever seen the HBO series Big Love Holte? It speaks to the LDS culture quite nicely. They are some seriously fucked up individuals.

      • Holte Ender

        March 29, 2010 at 6:01 pm

        Never seen it Mike.

        • MadMike

          March 29, 2010 at 7:34 pm

          It is on hiatus at the moment Alan but will return in 6 months or so. I will let you know when it airs again. It is a good show. Intellectual and historical, while being fun at the same time.

    • (O)CT(O)PUS

      March 29, 2010 at 7:04 pm

      Good luck finding a virgin these days … especially with End Times near.

      • MadMike

        March 29, 2010 at 7:33 pm

        LOL Octo. I could comment more extensively but I think I will wait until I have had my evening cocktail 🙂

  4. Lazersedge

    March 29, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    Nice piece of work there Mike. Really makes me want to live long and hope to prosper. Actually, I am hopeful that these idiots will be their own worst enemy. Over the next few months people should realize that the world is ending over the health care passage and that all the talk about the Obama Demon is a bunch of BS. I don’t think the “Tea Baggers” are going to steam roll congress like they think they are right now. In fact I think a few of the more radical right wingers may lose their grip on the seats they have. While those who are loyal Beckers and Palinists will keep screaming forever, the typical independent will be sobering up wondering what the fuss was all about.

    • MadMike

      March 29, 2010 at 9:09 pm

      Bill perhaps I am looking at this through rose colored glasses but I am relatively confident that the majority of the American people will have none of this. They may be silent for now but there are certain boundaries that folk will not appreciate anyone crossing.

  5. Will "take no prisoners" Hart

    March 29, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    While I agree with you folks that Palin would more than likely be a disaster as President and that, yes, there is in fact a lunatic fringe element out there in that audience, I’m not so sure that I can go as far as to tar an entire movement. Just like I wouldn’t tar the entire civil right movement over some of the nastiness that Sharpton and Farrakhan have said, or the entire anti Iraq War movement for all of those Bush is a Nazi signs that were utilized. People need to be judged as individuals (a central tenet of liberalism, no?), I think.

    • MadMike

      March 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm

      It is hard to disagree with your premise Will, but IMHO armies cannot target individuals, they have to target loyalties and affiliations. So, while I agree that there are no doubt decent people who have signed up, Tea Baggers as a group are the enemy.

  6. Jack Jodell

    March 29, 2010 at 11:02 pm


    • MadMike

      March 29, 2010 at 11:05 pm

      Never drink pee if you are floating in the ocean, lost in the desert and dying of thirst. It is bad for you.

      • (O)CT(O)PUS

        March 30, 2010 at 1:05 am

        MadMikeNever drink pee if you are floating in the ocean, lost in the desert and dying of thirst./I>

        Unless you are W. C. Fields …

        Where I live, we have a saying: With friends like that, who needs anemones.

        Years ago, I made a moral choice to abandon the human species and change into a cephalopod (which is a step somewhere below cross-dressing). Now I spend my leisure time immersed in arts (camouflage) and letters (ink).

        On the evolutionary timeline, the latest arrivals are not necessarily more advanced or superior, especially those post-simian things called humans. Going backwards in time affords a unique perspective.

        A libertarian, for instance, should consider a unicellular protozoan existence because they value individualism and self-reliance. The more upwardly motile might prefer life as a paramecium, while self-flagellants might prefer the more sporty euglena look.

        If you are a communitarian but still believe in limited government, perhaps the multicellular volvox would appeal to you. Simple and down to earth, it requires no standing army, no social security, no Medicare, and very low taxes.

        Personally, I don’t think anyone here should consider becoming a small mammal. Way too complicated with zillions of cells that require a brain, organ systems, and a social safety net.

        As for myself, when global warming causes sea levels to rise, my habitat will increase in size, and I may even occupy the White House without ever being elected.

        • MadMike

          March 30, 2010 at 6:32 pm

          I do like the Volvox. It appeals to the more romantic side of my nature.

          Then again, and as you so aptly point out, all may soon be moot because global warming, or climate change if you prefer is on it’s way. In the immortal words of the late but always inimitable Ray Bradbury..Something Wicked This Way Comes…

  7. Mother Hen

    March 30, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Are you saying you don’t go in for the healing modality of Urine Therapy?? http://biomedx.com/urine/

    • MadMike

      March 30, 2010 at 6:34 pm

      Well Hen of the Mother, or should I say Mother of the Hen..What does come first by the way? Is it really the chicken or is it the egg. I mean where did the first egg come from? Sorry lost my train of thought…:-) 🙂

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