Texas Governor Shoots “Menacing” Coyote- “I Turned it into Mulch”

Your remember Rick Perry, the loopy governor who advocated Texas secede from the union. Well he showed his warrior-like courage when, while jogging, shot and killed a coyote that menaced his daughter’s Labrador while he was jogging on a trail near Austin. According to Newser, Perry, who was out without his security detail, says he always carries his Ruger when jogging in undeveloped areas because he’s afraid of monster attacking snakes.

“I holler and the coyote stopped. I holler again,” Perry tells AP. “By this time I had taken my weapon out and charged it. It is now staring dead at me. Either me or the dog are in imminent danger. I did the appropriate thing and sent it to where coyotes go.” It was a clean kill and the coyote didn’t suffer, he added.

Ed Update: A short while later, according to an MMA source, he told friends that he turned the poor critter into “mulch.” You gotta love those compassionate Texan hearts.

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Posted by on April 28, 2010. Filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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14 Responses to Texas Governor Shoots “Menacing” Coyote- “I Turned it into Mulch”

  1. Mother Hen

    April 28, 2010 at 9:37 am

    That SOB could have shot into the ground a few feet away and the coyote would have run off- but he has to prove his manliness somehow I guess. What an asshole.

    • MadMike

      April 28, 2010 at 6:52 pm

      Yes! At the least he is an asshole MH!

  2. Holte Ender

    April 28, 2010 at 11:34 am

    I hope that where Coyotes go is the same place where Rick Perry goes eventually, and they are all waiting for him.

    • MadMike

      April 28, 2010 at 6:52 pm

      What a wonderful thought Holte.

  3. John from WA

    April 28, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Nice shot, Governor.

    • MadMike

      April 28, 2010 at 6:53 pm

      Yea that was a tough one, all of five feet away. What a man this clown is…

  4. Randal Graves

    April 28, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    Mother Hen is right. Unless it was one of those radioactive mutant zombie coyotes Texas is famous for. The loudest report won’t scare one of those monstrosities off.

    • MadMike

      April 28, 2010 at 6:54 pm

      There are coyotes all around where I live. I rarely see them, but once in a great while I will come across one in the woods. They take off the minute they see me seeing them.

  5. fourdinners

    April 28, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Would one of you armed Americans kindly shoot him? Thank you.

    I will advise the jury that you were here with me in England at the time you blew the arseholes brains out. Promise.

    • MadMike

      April 28, 2010 at 6:55 pm

      Thanks old beaner. The problem is he lives in Texas. A state that has its fair share of assholes as I recently discovered.

      • Mother Hen

        April 28, 2010 at 9:15 pm

        “Fair share” being the amount someone, in this case, Texas, deserves. With the amount of assholery that has been spurting forth from there lately, I’d say that we need a separate sovereign nation to contain them all.

  6. Bsranch

    April 28, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Look he was just carrying out another execution, he was behind this year.
    Anyone think that it is strange that as White is closing the gap in the polls a story about him and his big ten inch gun comes out when all this happened in February?
    I would not be surprised to learn that this was another tall tale from Gubner, I mean President of Texas Perry.
    Next week he live skins a bear with just his Bowie knife.

    • MadMike

      April 28, 2010 at 6:56 pm

      That never occurred to me Bsranch, and it should have. Thanks that is one helluva point indeed.

  7. Ken Knisely

    November 9, 2010 at 6:20 am

    His dog must be a big puss! My Boxer would’ve kicked that coyote’s ass, who would’ve then run off in defeat, and that would’ve been the end of it!!!