The (British…Sod It…English) Empire Strikes Back

I have decided to abandon posting purely on a Sunday. I have no idea why. Possibly just to irritate everyone on a more regular basis…

Tomorrow, April 23rd is St. Georges Day.

St. George is the Patron Saint of England (and yes I know he’s also the patron saint of Ethiopia and numerous others along with cities such as Milan but they don’t count…so there)

I draped my St George flag out of my bedroom window as is my wont at about 2pm this afternoon.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” said The Management (aka the wifey aka Carol)

“Why not?” I asked in innocence.

“The council have sent a letter around saying it will be considered racially intolerant due to the number of ethnic groups in our area.” she replied.

Do for me!

Out went the flag.

At 3pm (I kid you not. Only 1 hour later!) there was a ‘ding dong’ on my door bell.

I opened the door to find a Sikh and another Asian gentleman wearing one of those funny little cap things that muslims occasionally wear.

They introduced themselves as ‘Mr Singh’ (have you ever met a Sikh not called Singh? It’s either a bloody large family or there’s some inter breeding going on here) and ‘Mr Abdullah’ from Hillingdon Council.

Hillingdon Council basically run the local stuff. They’re local politicians who sort out local issues. Transport, local taxes, etc etc etc.

“Would you please remove your flag” said Mr Singh.

“No” I replied quietly and reasonably.

“It may be seen as offensive to some.” added Mr Abdullah.

“Bollocks.” I replied diplomaticaly. (Well, alright, it wasn’t diplomatic but this is me talking)

I then smiled in a friendly way and shut the door.

About ten minutes later a pretend policeman arrived. ‘Pretend’ policeman are ‘Community Support Officers’. Basically, they are police with a lower salary who wander around trying to look important – it’s a long story.

‘Ding Dong!’

I opened the door.

“Could you remove your flag please sir?” he asked politely.

“No” I replied reasonably.

“Sir. We have a lot of ethnic groups living here and some may find it offensive.” he explained like he was talking to a small child.

“Officer?” I asked

“Yes sir?”

“Do I actually look like I give a shit?”

My flag is flying proudly….gently swaying in the breeze.

There’ll always be an England.

Trust me, I’m (originally) from Oldham (scene of the worst race riots in Englands history….and NO…before you start, I wasn’t there at the time).

Happy St. Georges Day for tomorrow.

I am very proud to be a beacon of light amongst the politically correct morons who will never defeat me and take my country away from me.

You want to live here? I’m flattered. We are indeed a tolerant country.

You want me to adapt to you rather than you to me?

I’ll show you the White Cliffs of Dover and drop you off the edge.

THERE’LL ALWAYS BE AN ENGLAND!!!

Until the next time I want to irritate I bid you good evening from The English Empire. (Well, let’s face it, all the officers were English. The Scots and Welsh were just cannon fodder so in reality, it was The English Empire. So there. Good grief! That vodka bottle can’t possibly be empty already!)

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Posted by on April 22, 2010. Filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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19 Responses to The (British…Sod It…English) Empire Strikes Back

  1. MadMike Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    So irritating old beaner…what are we doing on Sunday? You have a following, believe it or not, and these folk will be looking for you on Sunday. So, I doubt you will disappoint. Looking forward to seeing your regular Sunday column πŸ™‚ Feel free to post anytime of course, just don’t forget your Sunday following πŸ™‚

    Liked this btw…Very “English.”

    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  2. Infidel753 Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Appalling. Where I live, there are several apartments that have American flags out front all the time. Anyone who claimed to be offended by this would just get a very peculiar look.

    Interesting that apparently no one came to you and claimed to actually be offended — it was just officialdom claiming that someone else might be offended. A pre-emptive taking of offense, as it were.

    Oh, and “Singh” is a name which all Sikh men traditionally adopt. They must have dull phone books.

    Keep the flag flying, and happy St. George’s Day.

  3. fourdinners Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Mike : My ‘Sunday Posts’ will continue as always old bean! I just decided to ‘join in’ on a more regular basis – mainly because I haven’t the foggiest what some of the posts are about and I’m keen to learn!!! I’m just a Tetley Tea Bagger…;-)

    Infidel : I may vote UKIP because of your supurb comment on an earlier post of mine. It will be entirely your fault if the Tories don’t get elected…;-)

  4. fourdinners Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    Incidentally, I am attempting (and I use the word loosely) to ‘write’.

    If you have five minutes to spare please pop along to http://dinnerswrit.blogspot.com

    This is were I am trying to learn how to write properly….oh dear….

    My latest tale is actually set, primarily, in America. Therefore you good people will be far more able to critique me than anyone else.

    I can take it!

    I hope Mike doesn’t mind advertising in the comments….;-)

  5. Gwendolyn H. Barry Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    I do agree with you here, 4D. Your St. George is GRANDFATHERED in and more part of the nation and its history and these assholes can go suck it!
    They are being INTOLERANT…. in a very haughty way for newcomers!
    Agreeing with your flag… ***saluting it*** and buying you drink for St. George.
    btw, my newphew’s patron. Blade and all.

  6. punxxi Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Singh is actually a name that Hindu men in the military use, it means lion hearted.This may or may not be true, but i was told this by one of the many,many Dr. Singhs that I worked with

  7. fourdinners Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    Gwen : Intolerance is the name of the game in England right now…sadly. Intolerance to anyone who is noticeably (let alone vocally) an English patriot. I am not psychic but I genuinely believe that the UK will, one day soon, be Yugoslavia MKII…I hope I’m wrong.

    Punxii : I was actually disciplined in my previous job : (I was a union rep representing all races, creeds and colours – very well as it happens. My muslim members publically thought highly of me and I was proud of that) : for ‘taking the micky’ out of a Sikh who laughed and appreciated the joke. (Another colleague who heard me complained hence the disciplinary – he wasn’t even Sikh he was….muslim).

    I said to my Sikh colleague, “Hey! Your song’s on!” as the radio blared out pop group Keen singing their hit “Sing, Sing Sing” – I turned it into “Singh, Singh, Singh”.

    Humour, in our present world, is dangerous…

    • Infidel753 Reply

      April 22, 2010 at 5:11 pm

      Singh a songh of Sikhs spent,
      A racket full of pi(ety);
      Four Dinners hopes burkas
      Soon go bye-bye…..

  8. The Lawyer Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    We are passing around the collection plate to bond you out in the event you get arrested.

    Amazing. Putting out the stars and stripes would never get you in any trouble over here, unless, maybe you did so right in the thick of a Mexican barrio. But then they wouldn’t call the cops, and you would be out a perfectly good set of tires on your car.

  9. fourdinners Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    The flag is proudly flying!!! Arrested? Me?…Not with my bayonet collection…;-)

  10. MadMike Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    I am loving this discussion!!

  11. fourdinners Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    I am not discussing! I am flying the flag!!!!

    Actually…even though I intended to go to bed ages ago…I observed a ‘proper’ police car sitting opposite my house. Therefore I decided to sip yet another voddy and observe…

    Me being me I wandered (tottered) over and asked them their purpose.

    The older copper smiled and advised me they were ‘in situ’ for the night in case my flag caused any civil unrest.

    I am now (in)famous in Hayes Town! (Well..actually I probably was anyway) but now it’s official!!!!!

    My intention is to emigrate soon as I can.

    I think I was born at the wrong time in the wrong country.

    If I’d been born a Pakistani at least I could have had curry every night!!!

    To be honest I am so miffed at this ridiculous scenario that I will pull on my England football shirt tomorrow, along with my skinhead MA Jacket and Cherry Red Doc Martins and walk up and down the street singing OI! songs.

    (OI! being skinhead songs)

    I will obviously look ridiculous – as I’m 52 – but no more ridiculous than the country I am residing in.

    That’s it.

    Knackered.

    Bed.

    Nite all.

    4D x

  12. osori Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    Good for you fourdinners. Don’t blame you a bit. If someone comes to your country they have no right to insist that YOU change your culture to suit them. You’re where your people have been since time immemorial plus you ran the Romans out!

  13. Holte Ender Reply

    April 22, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    You stole my thunder Mr. Dinners, I had a big post planned with Dragons and other such mythology. Oh well.

    Saint George is the patron saint of Aragon, Catalonia, England, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal, and Russia, as well as the cities of Amersfoort, Beirut, Fakiha, Bteghrine, CΓ‘ceres (Spain), Ferrara, Freiburg, Genoa, Ljubljana, Gozo, Milan, Pomorie, Preston, Qormi, Rio de Janeiro, Lod, Barcelona and Moscow, as well as a wide range of professions, organizations, and disease sufferers.

    A Christian military Martyr born in Palestine.

  14. Gwendolyn H. Barry Reply

    April 23, 2010 at 3:10 am

    I must say first off and primarily: just keeping up with the commentary is screwing with my blogging time…. πŸ™‚ heck, even just reading my emails full or commentary…. ROLF LMAO it is the psychic hour and no on in the place so set ’em up Joe…

  15. rockync Reply

    April 23, 2010 at 11:29 am

    Not being British, I admit to an ignorance of St George’s flag and its history.
    Here in the South there is a flag that stirs all sorts of controversy and ill feelings. I’m talking of the flag of the Confederacy, a symbol to the horrors of slavery and oppression.
    I find the flying of this flag offensive and I’m a white woman. It represents a backwardness that I have no desire to see return.

  16. Randal Graves Reply

    April 23, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    I always assumed that when someone hung a St. George’s flag, they were bragging about having killed a dragon. How could that offend anyone?

    • Infidel753 Reply

      April 23, 2010 at 1:09 pm

      I imagine the dragons’ lobby is pretty powerful over there…..

  17. peter Reply

    April 23, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    i have just returned from my jaunt to the chippy as it’s my friday treat.chip shop ownr said i had the council in this morning..did you mate what for i said.he looks at his st georges flag proudly hanging in his shop window and said that..no way i said..oh yeah he/they advised me to take it down as i could offend someone wtf?.he told them he would take his trousers down before he took the flag down and of the councilor went..this is an absolute disgrace to every englishman..oh and did i forget to mention it is st georges day today.

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