Would You Like to Lick My Balls?

Ahhh- at last! I’ve been wanting to do this all day! Having an audience to perform for only enhances the enjoyment I get out of licking my balls. Well, since you had me neutered I guess it is only an empty sack, but still! Not even crotch-sniffing is more satisfying than
licking my balls! Keep watching- you know you want to!

You can no doubt tell from the intensity of my ball licking that you are watching a master at work.

Gather round! Observe…this is my own special technique for licking balls, and I honestly don’t think anyone could do a better job. Of course it helps that my balls are especially succulent. But even if they weren’t I would still give them the attention they deserve.

Are you certain everyone is here? What about that lady over by the punch bowl- from where she is standing there is no way she can see the intricacies of my ball-licking. And that guy who went to the kitchen for another beer surely won’t want to miss it when I show off my flexibility by tongue-lashing my ‘taint!

Why aren’t all the kids in the room as well? Whose idea was it to send them outside, which will cause them to miss this enlightening demonstration- they could learn something!

I’m glad your grandmother is here. Being as old as she is, I’d hate for her to die before bearing witness to my ball-licking prowess. If he were alive today I know your grandpa would be impressed with my scrote-washing skills! No doubt all the men present here will vicariously enjoy my performance, which is why I plan to continually lick my balls as long as there are people in this room.

Wait! Where are you going? Aren’t you and the rest of your church group going to stay and watch me fellate my nuts? Don’t leave me in here alone! It’s because you’re jealous, isn’t it? I’ll bet you wish you could do it too!

I might even let you, but you’d have to pet me first.

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Posted by on May 4, 2010. Filed under Animals,Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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12 Responses to Would You Like to Lick My Balls?

  1. Sue

    May 4, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Bwaaaaahaaaaaaaaahaaaaaa!!!! OMG, I’m dying here! I gotta admit I thought this was a post title from Mike and I needed to rush right over!

    Nice balls little pooch, even if they are empty! :-)))

    • MadMike

      May 4, 2010 at 2:58 pm

      LOL Sue!

  2. MadMike

    May 4, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    ROFLMAO!!! I will never look at my big males the same, especially since two of them will be neutered this very week. Delightful and shared everywhere.

  3. Jess

    May 4, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    I know some men that would never leave the house, if they were able to do what this guy can do by way of licking his dingleberries.

  4. Randal Graves

    May 4, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    Who’s got the biggest balls of them all?

  5. rockync

    May 4, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    I can’t stop laughing! You have reminded me of all the dogs I’ve had who have engaged in this canine pastime. And let us not forget that the females are just as prone to this constant licking, especially when there is genteel company about but, I have to admit, the boys are much funnier!

  6. Jerry Critter

    May 4, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    That’s the problem with letting a dog lick your face. You never know what he licked before you.

    • MadMike

      May 4, 2010 at 9:10 pm

      Well now Jerry what about people? I mean what if a … never mind 🙂

      • Jerry Critter

        May 4, 2010 at 9:12 pm

        I would not insult a dog by comparing him to a teabagger. If you can’t do it yourself, it doesn’t count

  7. Truth101

    May 4, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    This is another reason for you to believe in God and his infinite wisdom and compassion. Animals don’t have hands to pleasure themselves. God made them flexible so they could perform fellatio on themselves instead.

    Of course then again, maybe that is how God punishes us and rewards animals also.

    Question for deeper thinkers than I.

  8. Holte Ender

    May 4, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    I wish I could do that, but there again, if I bought him some dog treats, he might let me.

  9. fourdinners

    May 5, 2010 at 6:11 am

    If you’ve ever tasted dog food you’ll understand why they lick their balls!!!