- CRITTER TALK
- NEWS I FIND INTERESTING
Many people consider Tolkien’s ‘Lord Of The Rings’ to be the greatest work of fiction ever written.
‘Many people’ have obviously forgotten The Bible.
Oh eck…Dinners is up and running again….;-)
Now look. I respect anyone’s and everyone’s religious beliefs. I do! Honest!
I am, however, eternally baffled by said beliefs.
Take Christianity for example.
How? I say again, HOW can The Bible be believed when, clearly, there is no consideration regarding the ducks?
“YOU MUST BUILD AN ARK!” said God to Noah.
“Why?” asked Noah, quite reasonably.
“I AM SENDING A FLOOD TO WIPE EVIL FROM THE WORLD” replied God
– now look, I am using a bit of artistic licence here as I wasn’t actually there at the time and my memory of what God and Noah actually said is a bit sketchy but the gist is there….right?
“YOU WILL SAVE TWO ANIMALS OF EVERY SORT FROM THE FLOOD” explained God somewhat enigmatically.
I suspect Noah was puzzled. Save two of every species of animal?
Ok. The flood is to wipe out evil. Only two giraffes can be saved suggesting all other giraffes are evil.
The concept of an evil giraffe is not one I can readily imagine. Can you?
“I will eat all the leaves off the trees…then there will be no more leaves and the other giraffes will die! HAHAHAHAHA!!!”
Noah looks over the side and sees two ducks looking up.
“Oi! You two get up here!”
“Why?” ask the ducks
“Well….there’s going to be a huge fuck off flood!” replies Noah knowledgeably.
After the flood Noah peers over the side of the ark and sees hundreds of ducks swimming around.
On that basis the world should be ruled by evil ducks, not to mention swans and geese….
…and fish! What about the fish?
“Watch out! It’s a car coming at us!”
“Bloody Barrel Eye Fish!”
So there you have it. Indisputable biblical evidence that either –
A) The Bible is a load of old tosh or,
B) President Obama is a fish.
Later’s and let’s be careful out there….