Happiness is in being, not in buying

Read Time:3 Minute, 29 Second

New studies of consumption and happiness show that people are happier when they spend money on experiences instead of objects; when they relish what they plan to buy long before they buy it, and when they stop trying to” keep up with the Joneses.”

Unlike consumption of material goods, spending on leisure and services typically strengthens social bonds, which in turn helps amplify happiness. In fact, anything that strengthens social bonds tends to enhance happiness. Building shared memories is a better investment than buying stuff.

So when funds are limited, like in a recession, people should- and do- turn more and more to finding pleasurable experiences and enhancing lifestyles, rather than making expensive, serial purchases of “big box” goods to impress their neighbors. And they are discovering that camping out with the kids in the back yard makes them happier (and is way cheaper) than going into debt just to have a new car every couple of years.

(above) A child instinctively understands how to be happy in the moment

People are changing their priorities, focusing on building memories and sharing experiences, rather than buying status and luxuries.  This bodes ill for capitalism though, which depends on us growing discontent with our lives and having a personal product “turnover” as often as possible.

Before easy credit (and all its problems) came along, there was layaway. People paid for their purchases in advance- not spontaneously- over a period of time. This built anticipation and longing- and a greater feeling of satisfaction and reward when the goal of ownership was finally achieved.

Part of this might be due to the fact that the item was owned free and clear, unclouded by future debt burdens.“We buy a new house, we get accustomed to it,” says Professor Lyubomirsky, who studies what psychologists call “hedonic adaptation,” a phenomenon in which people rapidly adapt to changes, enjoyable or unpleasant, in order to maintain a stable level of happiness.

Hedonic adaptation has been observed in prisoners who acclimate more quickly than one would assume to the constraints of their new life of deprivation, probably because their neighbors (other prisoners) have the same conditions.

This trait can be a helpful tool for maintaining equilibrium in times of deprivation, but the psyche sword cuts both ways.

Acquiring new goods and and the latest products as quickly as they come out places the consumer on a “hedonic treadmill.” The mind adapts to this lifestyle- Madison Avenue is counting on it. As people get used to having less many are enjoying the freedoms that come with the simplification of their lives.

But what it means for a person’s level of happiness is that the little things don’t matter as much. It takes more and bigger things to create satisfaction, as the psyche becomes indifferent to the transitory satisfaction from purchases large (houses, cars) or small ( clothes, shoes).   So in these lean economic times, people might be forced to go cold turkey off their diet of acquisition.

This could be a  very good thing, as they get used to living with less, and  start finding joy in things that are more meaningful than the latest status symbol. Because assimilating the pleasures from a complex experience – like a vacation- takes longer, and happens on deeper levels, the effect stays with us longer.

Find joy in being, in doing, in experience– not in buying, wanting, materialism.

It almost sounds like science is supporting the words of Buddha.

It is natural that doubt should arise in your minds.

I tell you not to believe merely because it has been handed down by tradition,

or because it has been said by some great personage in the past,

or because it is commonly believed, or because others have told it to you, or even because I myself  have said it…

But whatever you are asked to believe, ask yourself whether it is true in the light of your experience,

whether it is in conformity with reason and good principles and whether it is conducive to the highest good and welfare of all beings,

and only if it passes this test, should you accept it and act in accordance with it.

Prince Siddhartha (the Buddha)

About Post Author

Carol Bell

Carol is a graduate of the University of Alabama. Her passion is journalism and it shows. Carol is our unpaid, but very efficient, administrative secretary.
Happy
Happy
0 %
Sad
Sad
0 %
Excited
Excited
0 %
Sleepy
Sleepy
0 %
Angry
Angry
0 %
Surprise
Surprise
0 %
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of

27 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
13 years ago

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by morgalla, Michael Scott. Michael Scott said: RT @madmike1 Happiness is in being, not in buying http://bit.ly/9PnaIw […]

osori
13 years ago

Great kids, MH and Krell! Good genetics and good parenting and keeping lawyers at a distance seems to be paying off!

13 years ago

Absolutely excellent, that all I can say.

Admin
13 years ago

Just beautiful and I am referring both to the post and the children. Fine work indeed.

13 years ago

What an excellent post~! Just great stuff. Kudos MH. 🙂

13 years ago

Quite the beautiful children used in this post, MH!

Jess
Reply to  Krell
13 years ago

They must really look like their mom huh? Oh wait, did I say that out loud? 🙂

>^..^<

Reply to  Jess
13 years ago

like the cheese under the heat lamp
so wilts the Jess crush..

Fin

Jess
Reply to  Krell
13 years ago

My, my how fickle you are Mr K. Hope it was good cheese though and not that nasty stuff in the box or a can.

Reply to  Jess
13 years ago

Caciocavallo Podolico served in a delicate aerosol manner.

Reply to  Krell
13 years ago

The kids look like Krell, but with my coloring. The little one has my smile and dimples. We jokingly refer to them as “The Lebensborn” “Children of the Corn” and such.

Jess
Reply to  Mother Hen
13 years ago

They are beautiful kids I have to say that. Probably smart as whips too because of both you and Krell. I refer to my yet to be heres as that and will refer to them as little crumbsnatchers when they arrive.

Reply to  Jess
13 years ago

I’m sure that the little crumbsnatchers will be just as sharp and witty as their Mother.

Reply to  Jess
13 years ago

Jess I think you (and everyone else) missed the other article I did on the Krellborn. The older spawn was a big fishing enthusiast… and here is that tale. https://madmikesamerica.com/2010/07/roly-poly-fish-heads/

Jess
Reply to  Mother Hen
13 years ago

Awww, you guys sure made some pretty babies. I don’t remember seeing that posting at all. 🙂 Lardball hurting your back. The oldest of my two cousins, we used to call him the little butterball he was so chunky.

13 years ago

Words of Wisdom, Mother Hen. I am quite happy just observing the occasional “Chicken Bowling” events that the rabbits produce. That and a spontaneous “Manualist” concert.

13 years ago

Excellent post Mother Hen Rinpoche. Can’t argue with that. I was just discussing at lunch how happiness is more a choice than a result of circumstance.

Reply to  The Lawyer
13 years ago

Lawyers have lunches?

Reply to  Krell
13 years ago

Twice a day.

Reply to  The Lawyer
13 years ago

Only twice?

Reply to  Professor Mike
13 years ago

Lawyer feeding schedule

Breakfast: coffee
Lunch 1: fillet of soul (of small child)
Lunch 2: bucket of spleens
snack: pot brownies
Dinner: hearts of elderly
Dinner2: scotch

Reply to  Mother Hen
13 years ago

you forgot the bread made from ground up bones of clients.

Reply to  Mother Hen
13 years ago

Christ. You guys know me too well. I’m depressed. I think I’ll go buy a Porsche 911.

Demeur
13 years ago

Hen you socialist swine! (snark) How do you expect this country to get back on its’ feet? What’s another $19.99 doodad collecting dust in the closet going to hurt? While your at it stop by my house and help decrap my closets. I have no more room left for those late night home shopping specials.

Jess
13 years ago

Nice. Gotta capture the joy everyday or it’s not worth it. Little tiny things delight me myself and I constantly. Like seeing your little neice get it, when she can finally play chopsticks on the piano with you, after you have been diligently sitting there listening to the worst stuff EVER being pounded out on your piano. Watching same little girl, after she realizes she has forgotten to put down the lid on the piano and begins to chase the cats, so she can hear them playing the piano too. Same one, in coordination with her older brothers, telling you, auntie J, my goldfish missed music so I sent your little music machine in the toilet to be with the fish. Ok that last one I was a tad pissed, but I got over it because she was so damn cute telling me the story about how her fish that recently died needed my new iPod.

Reply to  Jess
13 years ago

Children evolved cuteness to keep us from murdering them for their horrid behaviors, of this I am certain. (Actually, I think our brains evolved a perception for “cute” that concentrates on youthful features, thus creating better outcomes for kids who otherwise might Darwin themselves out)

Jess
Reply to  Mother Hen
13 years ago

I know you are right but she was so like the 4 yr old she is, with the story about Goldie and auntie J this and auntie J that, all my pissed offness was gone within 20 maybe 30 seconds of the breathelessness of this child. This beautiful little girl telling me, her goldfish used to dance in his aquarium and now he needed the little music machine to entertain all the other fish beside him in his watery grave. Totally unselfish in wanting the fish to have something to dance to. iPod just a thing can be replaced, that memory with my niece, in the memory banks for blackmail when she’s older if I happen to still be married to her uncle or not.

Previous post The Strange Story of the Atomic BoyScout
Next post Blagojovech guilty!
27
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x