A short list of things to be thankful for…with pictures!
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Of the secular holidays, Thanksgiving has to be my least favorite.
It takes place after the leaves have fallen, so the weather is not very appealing.
Even though there is not an overtly religious reason for celebrating (unless you count “football” as a religion- and believe me around here people do!) there is still an element of spirituality in the name alone. Thanks giving- as in thanking…someone, usually God, for whatever blessings you and yours have benefited from over the past year.
Our family doesn’t indulge in anything religious, or sports related, which only leaves the third raison d’etre for Thanksgiving to exist: gluttony. This I have no problems with, but institutionalizing it as a holiday? It is like making a holiday for some other vice- like pyromania.
Exploding fireworks or eating birds? I’ll take the former, thank you very much!
It is a men’s holiday.
There are no obligatory gifts to buy or receive. The only shopping they might have to do involves picking up last minute things (like ice and beer) at the corner store.
The guys usually leave the heavy lifting (cooking) to the women, then loosen their pants and watch football in the den while the women gather in the kitchen, ostensibly to clean up.
We all know the real reason is that doing dishes for a 15 course meal for 25 guests seems worth it to avoid the turkey-induced flatulence.
It could be argued that Halloween is another holiday that caters to the whims of boys and men, were it not for the fact that women like it so much. With all that chocolate flying around, what’s not to like?
Retailers rightly view Thanksgiving as the gateway holiday ushering in fiscal gluttony as well. Advertisers cram the airwaves with commercials for obnoxious toys. Every item for boys has a screaming announcer in the background whose day job is voice-overs for monster truck rallies.
Girl toy ads have hideous music jingles interspersed with a pep talk from a female cheerleader (merely the “cutesy” version of the “tampon commercial lady” voice) and lots of pink.
Some girls are not into “pink”
So with all the ranting out of the way, I then present to you Mother Hen’s List of What to be Thankful for. (I am going to leave off the obvious things, like running water, enough to eat, antibiotics, the internet, and not being a female oppressed by religion.) Any sane person in the USA will have these on their list. What things might be unique to me, or my family?
I begin with the hypothetical question, what would I miss most in the event of a disaster, say, the zombpocalypse?
Considering that my brains would be on the short list of zombie thanksgiving foods unless I could run (or waddle, as is the case of late) away, I would need ASPIRIN.
The second thing that makes life bearable is Krell, without whom I would surely die. Raking the leaves in our back yard alone would have killed me.
Although Bella is Krell’s favorite chicken, she did not help him rake leaves. She and the others owe their lives to him and his opossum-killing skillz.
While everyone loves their kids, I actually have the benefit of liking mine as well.
I am especially thankful my daughter chooses Halloween costumes like this plague doctor (above) instead of these scantily clad examples (right)
Having a yard big enough to sustain our family’s outdoor hobbies as well as the animal population is another thing to be thankful for.
Bogart clearly enjoys the treehouse as much as the kids do
I am thankful that we live in a community that allows chickens in the city limits, multiple unleashed cats, and most importantly, crime rates and costs of living are both low.
I am also very thankful that cats groom themselves so I don’t have to wash them. That’s a lot of butts I don’t have to lick.
I am thankful to the ancient Mexicans, who bred a dog that will not chase chickens or cats (or rabbits),will only eat $10 worth of food every 2 1/2 months, and allows me to dress it in humiliating clothing.
I am thankful that Krell doesn’t consider this a “real” dog, so he suffers its presence.
I am thankful to the modern Mexicans as well, who provide our favorite restaurant.
Another thing to be thankful for is my friends. The folks and fogeys here at MMA provide a great sounding board and audience for ideas. (Considering the amount of teabagging idiocy I have been exposed to of late, it is a veritable haven of sanity!) Since our blood relations are either many states away (physically and/or mentally) you guys are the closest thing to an extended “family” Krell and I have.
Mrs Lawyer, for example, provided the venue for our Thanksgiving this year, thus saving me the hassle and the headache. Gwen’s considerate gifts of aromatherapy products have made life with a spraying tomcat more bearable. I am grateful to Oso for being a shining example of a rational, yet religious, person. Mike and Holte make me feel young!
I am grateful for sunsets like these.
all photos by Morgan Williams
This wonderful story was originally published at MMA on November 29, 2010.
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Beautiful post,MH.Rationality is much more flattering than “skinny and Chinese-looking” which I’m accused of more often.
Opossum killing skills as well as uncontrolled flatulence are the mark of a modern Renaissance Man.
I think the fellow with the dark face long ears&nose and I could be buds.
oh, that’s great! must share.
Those pictures are making my very depressing Monday at work tolerable. Except for the black rat picture, don’t understand how that got in there.
It’s nice to know that with my “opossum-killing skillz”, I’m still loved and wanted. A strange symbiotic relationship.
Now I must go out and find some more “opossum” to release in the backyard so I don’t become obsolete. Weird how that works out.
Here ya go. Hope this helps your Monday at work.
Thanks Jess….Now everybody is looking at me weird because I was dancing witlessly around the office. I told them that it was because I just solved the Riemann Hypothesis and they all just stared.
Nobody understands me at work.
You know it isn’t JUST about your opossum killin’ skillz. But that I merely appreciate you killing it so I didn’t have to. With my luck I’d miss and kill something else.
Oh..I know. One of the things that makes me the proudest is how Tori doesn’t let external media crap influence who she is.
She is SO smart and independent. She makes up her own mind about whom she likes or what tastes she has in clothes or music or movies.
Case in point with these pictures, she came up with the Plague doctor costume, a part of world history, instead of being a “Pop-Tart”.
Of course, she gets that from her Mom.
What nice things to say about your family. I feel the same way about people I have never met, as far as relationships and friendships based on online dealings, very thankful for every last one of them. The internet makes the world a very tiny place doesn’t it?
You would be surprised who knows you…(all of you)… I’ve showed Tori’s sketches to my nephew and his mom, I’ve shared Oso’s story’s with my classes… some of Krell’s too… I’ve actually used a picture of your crazy hen’s in a collage (I make canvas collages / mandalas to sell out of the back door), I included a pic of small version of Indy Jones Williams in my last one… I’ve saved opinions and comments in a log I decided to keep (I have a binding machine… so I print and bind things) and I’m doing that with blog stuff / the best words or thoughts… the KINDEST ones anyway…sometimes the not so kind but important / lots of Williams’ in there. Lots of Holte, MM, Mycue, SJ, Bee, Utah, Jack, all of my blog buddies on the netside … funny stuff, lonely stuff, important stuff, the kindness is always the most important stuff.
You all mean more than just a simple jotting of thoughts… and we do share our lives with one another… I guess that’s my real comment here Morgan. Thank you for noticing that.
Nice one MH. Glad we make you feel young, but I suspect any youngness you feel is down to your own attitude, but it’s a nice thing for you to say, we usually piss people off, without even trying.
You know I only say that to tease you about your age. I may actually BE (relatively) young, but as my thankfulness for aspirin above suggests, I rarely feel it physically. Though mentally I am about the age of a 12 year old boy.