Critter talk: Mapping the cat brain

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This is for all of the cat lovers among us, as well as for those who just try to understand them. Enjoy:

(Originally published in MS Magazine, Vol III, #1, July/August 1992)

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Professor Mike

Professor Mike is a left-leaning, dog loving, political junkie. He has written dozens of articles for Substack, Medium, Simily, and Tribel. Professor Mike has been published at Smerconish.com, among others. He is a strong proponent of the environment, and a passionate protector of animals. In addition he is a fierce anti-Trumper. Take a moment and share his work.
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Jess
13 years ago

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fuffer2005/236524501/

Mah edit or delete button is kaputsky, and it’s back, so here is a new map of doggy brain for everyone. Hint: they’re not too bright 😉

Jess
13 years ago

Just for you Mike since you asked 🙂

The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

The cat’s diary
Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

13 years ago

I love this, it is all so true!

oso
13 years ago

That’s Dulce.
I’d read where the “infatuation with people who hate cats” thing may come from, when a cat enters a room the cat lovers all call to it, make noises, track it with their eyes, reach out to the cat. If the cat is looking for a lap, it goes to the one that appears to offer peace and quiet – the person showing no interest in it.
Good sounding theory anyway.

Reply to  oso
13 years ago

I have heard that theory too, and agree with it. The eye contact (unless initiated by the cat in a Braco-like love stare) from strangers usually freaks cats out. My cats all have their own chairs, and if someone is sitting in their chair (allergies or no) the cat will try to get in the chair anyway to displace the usurper.

I am a cat magnet. Any place I go they are on me the instant I hit the door. Good thing I love cats!

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