Breaking News: Navy Seals Did Not Kill Osama

This is just in from confidential sources in very, very, very highly placed positions in the grassroots of our government that the highly trained United States Navy S.E.A.L. Team 6 did not kill Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden. Here is that special report:

I understand that sources within the Tea Party have revealed that Fox News will run an exposé this Sunday that will result in the impeachment of Barak Husain Obama. It seems that Obama has lied to the public regarding the operation resulting in the death of Osama Bin Laden. The fair balanced version is that the operation was in fact planned by Carl Rove, Dick Chaney and Oliver North. Financing for the operation was provided by Donald Trump. It seems that an elite group of Young Republicans under the leadership of Jenna Bush are actually the operational element that executed the successful raid against Ben Laden’s compound. Jenna Bush fired the actual shot that brought down Ben Laden. The daughter of the last legitimate President of the United States was trained in marksmanship by Sarah Palin at a secret Alaskan base within site of the old Soviet Union. The operational intelligence was provided by Pat Robinson and Glenn Beck who received direct communications from divine sources.



New Navy Seals Drink
The Osama Bin Laden
Two Shots and a splash of water

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Posted by on May 7, 2011. Filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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23 Responses to Breaking News: Navy Seals Did Not Kill Osama

  1. jacque Reply

    May 7, 2011 at 11:32 pm

    cracked my ass up.

    • lazersedge Reply

      May 8, 2011 at 1:44 pm

      I understand that there is a new commando training base deep with a mountain in Alaska being set up for permanent use for when Trump wins the Presidency. Joe the Plumber has been put in charge of construction.

      • katjo Reply

        May 9, 2011 at 12:57 am

        I think it is pathetic to make jokes about anyones death regardless of his horrible crimes and yes… i do believe in the death penalty. I just don’t feel like laughing about it. Obviously your liberal beliefs do not coincide with any religious beliefs. How sad for you…

        • lazersedge Reply

          May 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

          The humor was not directed at the death of Osama but at the twist and spin that the far right conservatives put on everything that is done by the Obama White House. There was no attempt to offend anyone. It is ironic that I do not support the death penalty and would not have supported it for bin Laden had it been anywhere near practical to bring him back, try him and incarcerate him. However, that would have led to many more deaths by his supporters who would have used him a a rallying point.
          Don’t be sorry for me. War is war.

  2. Peter Lake Reply

    May 7, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    HAHAHAHAAHAHA!! Another great piece of work by the artists at madmikes!

    • lazersedge Reply

      May 8, 2011 at 1:44 pm

      Thank you Peter.

  3. polksalad Reply

    May 7, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    Don’t be messin’ wit’ the man but you can be in the sand and this makes me smile real wide. On my lovin’ to you boys and gals here.

    • lazersedge Reply

      May 8, 2011 at 1:46 pm

      We have to keep a low profile and reach up and snatch this intel when it is available.

  4. jessica Reply

    May 7, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    So, this means when they come looking for some good ole payback, they will have the right people. Hmmm, I like this. I wonder if al Qaeda will get before May 21st?? I need to stock up on popcorn and get some batteries for my remote….

    • lazersedge Reply

      May 8, 2011 at 1:47 pm

      Apparently Pat Robertson is channeling with his highly placed devine resource to ferret out there new plans.

  5. C.H. McDermott Reply

    May 8, 2011 at 10:05 am

    Okay, so now we know.

    • lazersedge Reply

      May 8, 2011 at 1:48 pm

      That is supposed to be the straight scoop from the grass roots.

  6. Jihad punk Reply

    May 8, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    I heard he actually slipped on a bar of soap as he didn’t know what it was…..

    • lazersedge Reply

      May 8, 2011 at 8:34 pm

      Not according to my sources. There was no soap in the entire compound other than saddle soap for the camel saddles.

  7. katjo Reply

    May 9, 2011 at 1:23 am

    Not to burst the funny bubble but obama..ops I mean Osama has had little to do with the group he created. Egyptian cleric Ayman al-Zawahri controls al-Qaida he hides in Pakistan as well. Osama was the spiritual guide only, he never ran the groups. Osama was a monster but he was not the leader. By the way, the CIA director said Obama hesitated so he made the call to kill Osama

    • lasersedge Reply

      May 9, 2011 at 4:37 pm

      We may never know Katjo, we may never know. 🙂

  8. katjo Reply

    May 9, 2011 at 2:32 am

    Oh my gosh, i’m so sorry i just realized this is a atheist website. Guess i have been waisting my time here mentioning Christian religion If you ever find yourself in the fox hole or receive bad news from your doctor regarding your last days on earth. email me i can help you . Why not believe why take the chance.

    • Chris Buescher Reply

      May 9, 2011 at 7:40 am

      The completely irrelevant religious non-sequitur combined with the ‘no atheists in foxholes’ and ‘fair weather atheists’ foolishness and a Pascal’s Wager to complete the set.

      Anyway, This post was great, though for a moment I was worried that Poe’s Law was being invoked. Thankfully it was a work of genius instead of the dangerously delusional.

      • lasersedge Reply

        May 9, 2011 at 4:36 pm

        Thank you Chris…uh, I think.

        • Chris Buescher Reply

          May 9, 2011 at 7:23 pm

          If you aren’t familiar, Poe’s Law states that the more crazy and deluded a person is, the harder it is to tell if they honestly believe their horrible and insane ramblings or if it, in actuality, a gross overstatement made by a sane person in an attempt to taunt the crazies. It was originally applied to Fundamentalists but has since expanded to other areas including conspiracy theorists and such.

          • lazersedge Reply

            May 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

            I am not familiar with Poe’s Law but the concept of further twisting the twisted minds of conspiracy theorist has long been a form of pointing out the absurdity of their points of view.

  9. mark Reply

    May 14, 2011 at 11:29 am

    You are an idiot grassroots of the government… by the by you liberal loser oblamea didnt kill bin laden the seals did and they wont vote for his sorry ass.

  10. jenny40 Reply

    May 14, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    No doubt everyone has noticed that the right wing nutters suffer from a serious intellectual deficit as evidenced by Mark’s inability to form a sentence. LOL LOL!!

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