Hitler is alive and well and living in Argentina

Adolf Hitler not dead after all

living luxurious life in Argentina

Adolf Hitler has been found living in a compound in the suburbs of Buenos Aires, Argentina. The 122 year-old former 1938 Time Magazine Man Of The Year and German Führer did not resist when a bunch of kids knocked on his door and asked if they could have their ball back.

The surprised youngsters escorted the old guy to a police station, then ran home to read a history book and find out who he actually was. Sources say that Hitler enjoyed being among the jackbooted Carabinieri and cheerfully promised he wouldn’t invade Russia again. He was released on his own recognizance.

A grumpy Hitler after being outed by soccer loving kids

Hitler may have escaped to Argentina by U-Boat

This was actually a conspiracy theory that claimed Hitler escaped to Argentina aboard a U-Boat just before the end of World War II, and lived there until he died in the mid-1980s. It makes about as much sense as all the nonsense that’s erupting about Osama bin Laden, is he dead? “It’s all a hoax to get Obama’s poll numbers up. He’s been dead for six years, they’ve had him on ice just waiting for the right political moment, until I see the pictures it’s not true, bury him sea, why not bring him back to the States . . . Moonlanding faked. . . CIA killed Kennedy . . . the Holocaust didn’t happen . . . Israel was responsible for 9/11 . . . Hitler is still alive, Obama is intentionally raising gas prices, is a Muslim, and is plotting to overthrow the world.”

Adolf Hitler as a young man

I am 99 percent certain that Osama bin Laden is dead, I’m prepared to believe that he was killed on May 1, 2011, but just to be on the safe side I’m canceling plans to visit Argentina, I would hate to breathe the same air as two monsters.

A young Osama visits Adolf in Argentina, the pigtails were Hitler’s idea

I wonder if Hitler watches the History Channel, he’s on a lot.

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Posted by on May 5, 2011. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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11 Responses to Hitler is alive and well and living in Argentina

  1. greenlight

    May 5, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Hitler apparently wasn’t watching television…if he would have seen the coverage of Osama, he would have wisened up to the idea of paying kids off when their balls land in his yard.

    Wait, it turns out that didn’t go so well for Osama after all, huh? Hm. Or, at least not according to what they tell us. 🙂

    Thanks for the fun read.

    • Holte Ender

      May 5, 2011 at 9:41 am

      Adolf was probably watching re-runs of his glory days, the London Blitz, the invasion of Poland and so on.

      • greenlight

        May 5, 2011 at 12:40 pm

        I get the sense that he’s a big fan of the History Channel.

  2. SagaciousHillbilly

    May 5, 2011 at 10:42 am

    I love conspiracy theories. . . in a morbid sort of way. It reveals the ridiculously shallow thinking capabilities of the desperate masses.

    • Holte Ender

      May 5, 2011 at 10:44 am

      They can be pretty entertaining SH, as you say, in a morbid way.

  3. Four Dinners

    May 5, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Actually Hitler died on The General Belgrano when famous British Pole (Tax) dancer Maggie T had the thing blown out of the water for having the audacity to sail the wrong way…

    Hitler was supposed to lead the Argie invasion of The Falklands but unfortunately their maps were in English so they couldn’t find The Malvena’s…

    I have this on good authority…

    Trust me I’m a lunatic….

  4. lazersedge

    May 6, 2011 at 2:01 am

    Good read Holte but there may another version that may have more credibility. Josef Mengele is said to have perfect cryonics years ago and has been storing people of a bad sort until he gets the right combination together to take over the world. He currently has Hitler, Tojo, Mussolini,Stalin, Linen, Saddam Hussiem, and Osama bin Laden. He probably has others but the rumor mill lacks clarity when I asked about them

  5. Share English

    May 22, 2011 at 2:03 am

    hehehehehe, I think, it so much fun

  6. Nikolai

    May 28, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    An interesting thing that an old WWII vet told me, “Hell, Switzerland is simply a twin of Germany. Due to their banks they were able to arrange things in such a way that not only were they able to stay out of the war, but Nazi loot would be protected no matter what, and if the Nazis escaped after the war they would have it made.” History seems to have proven this as it wasn’t until 1999 or so that the Jews were able to get what was left of their cash, gold, paintings and other valuables reimbursed by the secretive, immoral Swiss banks.

  7. Gwen Wheatley

    March 9, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    Yes are a fuckingretard and I just wasted five minutes of mi life on this shit yew are giving out the worst information In the world like seriously get a life dumb ass -_-

  8. newageluddite

    March 14, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    In 2005 the guy who filed insurance payments for my office, who was married to my business manager, split up with her and pretty much disappeared. She later explained that he’d read about a bill that Pres. Clinton supposedly signed in the latter part of his presidency which, on a certain date in 2005, would abolish the rights of credit card companies to collect the outstanding interest and principal on anyone’s credit card accounts, as well as forgiving many other kinds of loans. The previous few months he’d been living large on his multiple credit cards and had also bought a new suv. When the date he was waiting for came around and all his debts didn’t disappear; he did.
    What kind of kook marries a person like that? One who lends her psychiatrist boss (me) a dvd demonstrating how 9-11 was faked. And what kind of psychiatrist hires a couple like them? Sorry; that’s for a different post. I’ve got to go. I hear the mole people tunneling under my house again and I must reinforce the tinfoil lining my basement, which interferes with their telepathy.